Tuxedo Ridley LeafGreen: YOU DECIDE!!!

Superfish-Magikarp, Lvl. 6
Moves: Splash

HM Slave-Rattata, Lvl. 2
Moves: Tackle, Tail Whip

Fly Guy-Pidgey, Lvl. 10
Moves: Tackle, Sand Attack, Gust

Tarzan-Mankey, Lvl. 2
Moves: Scratch, Leer

Lanayru-Pikachu, Lvl. 20
Moves: Thundershock, Quick Attack, Slam, Thunder Wave

Toaster-Charmeleon, Lvl. 19
Moves: Scratch, Growl, Ember, Metal Claw

Harvey-Spearow, Lvl. 5
Moves: Peck, Growl

Scarecrow-Spearow, Lvl. 3
Moves: Peck, Growl

Kokoon-Kakuna, Lvl. 5
Moves: Harden

Weedleman-Weedle, Lvl. 4
Moves: Poison Sting, String Shot

iMetapod-Metepod, Lvl. 5
Moves: Harden

Majesty-Nidoran(female), Lvl. 6
Moves: Growl, Scratch

S'more-Jigglypuff, Lvl. 5
Moves: Sing, Defense Curl

Wormy-Caterpie, Lvl. 3
Moves: Tackle, String Shot

Toxic Rat-Nidoran(female), Lvl. 6
Moves: Growl, Scratch

Time to get this dysfunctional trainwreck going, then...

Wait, WHAT? I already know how to play Pokemon though! EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY POKEMON!

This tutorial goes on for some 7 screens, by the way. That's like a full-fledged Shakespeare speech in Pokemon dialogue standards.

Hello Oak. Why are you visiting my dream?
So apparently he's the Pokemon professor and I'm about to go on this epic adventure and all that jazz.

...is it really that hard to tell
So, he gets it now. I'm Ridley, the guy who's lived in Pallet Town his whole life. So he should know that by now, I mean there are only what 10 people in Pallet Town? Anyways moving on.
Also, his grandson has been my rival since we were babies. How does that kind of thing start when we're babies? Did we star in a humorous spy parody where we attempted to kill each other to gain control of the binky?

He's YOUR grandson, shouldn't you know? Gary *bleep*ing Oak.

An NES? Come on! DF has a GameCube! I don't want to have to fly all the way to Hoenn to play Smash Bros.!

wuht. ARE YOU KICKING ME OUT?! I HAVEN'T EVEN GRADUATED SCHOOL YET!

Please, no! That man has no idea how to raise a child! He can't even remember his grandson's name!

That heartless *bleep*. Oh, Oak isn't even home. What a great parent, huh?

Not at the lab either, eh? Well, if I can't be raised by some worthless old man I guess it's off to wander the routes alone.

Oh, but NOW he remembers. Seriously, I'd be better off out there than with you. How many times have you forgotten to feed Gary, anyways?

Ah, now there's an idea. Steal a Pokemon from you, raise it, beat the gyms, go to the league, and defeat the champion. Once I've conquered the closest thing to a government in this region they'll have no choice but to recognize me as their king! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oooh, there's a better idea, I'll take all three of them and leave you two to fend for yourselves. With no rival, nothing can stand in my way!

Ugh. Okay, scratch that plan. But that means...

I WILL DESTROY YOU SOMEDAY GARY

Now then. I choose...

CHARMANDER!

Cause all toasters toast toast, donchaknow.

....wait a minute...
...no no no I hate Charmander and its evos give me Squir-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GARY! I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!

Oh, so you're forcing me to go out into the wild alone, with nothing but a low-level Pokemon I don't know I can trust by my side to keep me save from all the vicious killer animals. World's best dad right here, everyone.

Is that a challenge? You shall be the first of many to fall to me, Gary.

Actually, I've had quite a few, but I've got a feeling you'll lecture me anyways.

...or you can just not care. Nice to see you're concerned about my well-being, Oak.

I'd post screenshots from our epic battle, but it was more like "Charmander Scratches Squirtle to death while Gary acts like Tail Whip is having a significant effect on the battle."

I'll be seeing this screen a lot.

I attempt to destroy Gary's soul before being helpfully informed that that kinda stuff doesn't happen in Pokemon. Bummer. Time to head for the next gym then.

On my way there, someone informs me of the Pokemart in the next town. Hmph. If you people had voted for communism such private businesses would no longer exist. Toaster beats up a pair of Rattata and levels, but nothing too eventful happens.(if you're really that curious, the stat changes were the same as the one above)

Oh wait, I lied, she learned Ember. TIME TO MAKE SOME TOAST.

Aww, it's Toaster's first visit to a PC. She's growing up so fast! Before long she'll be a hideous abomination. Or a teenage Charmeleon on her period. Whichever term for her you prefer.

Mkay, time to go to the gym. LET'S HEAT THINGS U-

GET OUT OF THE WAY OLD MAN, LEST YOU FEEL THE POWER OF MY FEET!
But that lil brat won't let us do that. Oh well, may as well head over to the Pokemart, pick up some Pokeballs, poach wild animals...

Or get sent on a delivery quest. Notice how this Pokemon game has had a conspicuous lack of actually beating up other Pokemon so far?
So time to bring this parcel back to World's-Greatest-Adoptive-Dad. Hopefully it contains the papers saying I'm being taken away to a game with parents who won't kick me out on the street randomly.
Toaster sets a Rattata alight on the way back.*sniff*She's already turning into a destructive psychopath, I'm so proud.

*pleasetellmeidon'thavetostaywiththisguyhedoesn'tevenremembertofeedhimself*

You better be giving me a master ball to make up for all your "parenting".

He doesn't, but he does give me the Pokedex, which means the game is officially afoot. There's also 5 Pokeballs with it, which means 5 innocent Pokemon shall soon become my personal gladiators. (I sure hope PETA doesn't find out or I'll never hear the end of it)
Blah blah blah, "You're now my servants so capture all the Pokemon in the world and do my research for me", etc. etc.

And now we have the other vital piece of equipment.

...eh, actually, I could've just used the internet, but whatever.

NEXT TIME: MANY POKEMON WILL BE CAPTURED!