Recent content by Garth Marenghi

[Enter, as I wish.] Hello, my good man. I'm Garth Marenghi, Archduke o' Darkdom, self-realised Thalassic visionary. Mind if I pop my head in? What's this "ritual" I'm hearing about?

Erm, thanks? I've actually already got one that looks just like... oh. I'll take this back upstairs and put it back where it came from. After that, I think I'll take a relaxing walk down the Promenade. Who are those cabins for, and what's up with that 'Still A Cabin'?

If none of the staff are around, I'd like to covertly check any bookcases in the Lobby, Conference Rooms and Lounge to make sure they're stocked with ample copies of my works. If not, I'll slip in a few I've brought with me - Slicer IV: The Blade is Back, Stump, CRAB!!. Remove some lesser books...

Pleased to hear, Mr. Sholmes. Soon as I walked in, I could tell you were a man o' good taste. And Mr. Hoshizora, was it? Don't worry, I'm used to the odd rabid fan. I could always use a bit of help promoting my new book, if you're up for it? Mind if I take a quick glance at those conference...

Greetings, friends. I'm Garth Marenghi: author... dreamweaver... visionary. Ex-ghost. Current status: Alive, and - besides a dodgy hip - well. When I was asked to attend the AEAEA Conference as a V.I.P., my first question was, why hadn't I been asked before? My second question was, what was the...

Heh! Couldn't take out ol' Ernest. Say, mind if I say something? We're all in a pretty precarious situation here, but it's always important to know when to take a step back. Sometimes the "Mafia" in your life isn't a man with a gun, but a mental block that stops you from achieving your best...

Hey guys, what's up?

Hey, fellas! Ernest Borgnine here. It's great to be back! Scared of death, huh? I wouldn't be. I've faced death before, and it ain't got much I can't handle.

💯

Well, I hope you all learned an important lesson today. Your so-called "friends" may make fun of you for carrying around a cardboard box everywhere, but inside this masks a deep-seated desire to know what is in your box. Do not be ashamed if this applies to you. It is only natural. But some may...

Well... Grandpa's in trouble.

Zote... My special Grandson... I am so proud of the young man you have become. You've done a fantastic job rooting out the Mafia so far. I am sorry that I have not spoken more, my boy. I did manage to sneak out of bed last night to kill the dangerous Mafia member "Shy Guy on Wheels". I will...

VOTE: FLYGON!!!!!!!!!

Please

Hello! Grandma and Grandpa Box here. We are so proud of our grandson. He has never shown anyone what is inside his box. We fully endorse our grandson. Knock 'em dead junior.