my first comic

[yoshster]

This is my first comic, i plan on making more in the series if u guys give it thumbs up

to view it proparly u may need to download it and set the viewing range/zoom to 100%, but after that u will see it fine

 

[[ohgodpleasedelete]]

Not readable and there is WAY too much space.

 

[crystalking]

not readable

 

[yoshster]

Fixed it

 

[[ohgodpleasedelete]]

Fixed it

Pretty bad.

You practically stole Peachypie 3.14's sprites. >_>

And the outlines are REALLY bad...

And the plot makes no sense...

No speech bubbles...

So pretty good for a first comic. XD

Just kidding.
Not very good.

 

[crystalking]

Fixed it

Pretty bad.

You practically stole Peachypie 3.14's sprites. >_>

And the outlines are REALLY bad...

And the plot makes no sense...

No speech bubbles...

So pretty good for a first comic. XD

Just kidding.
Not very good.

I agree with CN

no offense

 

[yoshster]

I wanted to make the "thing" that fell and the"master" a mystery so the plot may not make total sense and well i'll just add speech bubbles nxt time but if
u guys think it stunk so bad then i guess there won't b a nxt time

 

[[ohgodpleasedelete]]

I wanted to make the "thing" that fell and the"master" a mystery so the plot may not make total sense and well i'll just add speech bubbles nxt time but if
u guys think it stunk so bad then i guess there won't b a nxt time

It can be mysterious and still make sense.

Take the Shadow Chronicles for an example.

 

[crystalking]

At least I said no offense

 

[Guiliant]

Sucks.

 

[Storm Yoshi]

I wanted to make the "thing" that fell and the"master" a mystery so the plot may not make total sense and well i'll just add speech bubbles nxt time but if
u guys think it stunk so bad then i guess there won't b a nxt time

It can be mysterious and still make sense.

Take the Shadow Chronicles for an example.

That is true CN.

 

[Dry Bones]

You stole Peachycakes3.14's sprites.....

 

[yoshster]

UMM i made some changes even though i doubt it would be but is it even little better

Here is the direct link http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb44/yoshster_photos/tobepostedv1.png

 

[[ohgodpleasedelete]]

Not readable. >_>

 

[yoshster]

here r the links to them it is in 3 parts

Part one-http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb44/yoshster_photos/hfhffhffhdfh.png

Part 2-http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb44/yoshster_photos/cchcjjggjd.jpg

Part3-http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb44/yoshster_photos/cgnjgkfkk.jpg

 

[[ohgodpleasedelete]]

Pretty bad still.

And the outlines are REALLY bad...

And the plot makes more sense, but still isn't very understandable...

Bad grammer, too.

Keep trying.

 

[3Dejong]

#1: Grammar.

#2: To upload, use Picoodle. It automatically uploads them bigger.

#3: BLANK SPACE SUCKS

#4: Add backgrounds to the text, to make it readable.

#5: WORK, WORK, WORK

 

[Storm Yoshi]

#1 Get better sprites

#2 Spelling and Grammar

#3 Get a better story line I have got no idea whatsoever of whats going on

#4 If its about the wiki then maybe use official wiki backgrounds

#5 Take your time don't rush

#6 Like with #1 get some sprites (good ones) that aren't copied off other peoples!

 

[Smiddle]

It's not good, N/O (no offense).

 

[yoshster]

R these sprites any better to use
http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb44/yoshster_photos/ssheet10.png

 

[3Dejong]

MUCH better.

I actually like it! :mrgreen:

Be very careful about grammar. It can make or break a comic. In your case, break it.

 

[yoshster]

Thanx alot
i just got to wait on some permissions to use certain sprites an I can make the second edition, I of to userpedia to make a page for the comic

 

[Smiddle]

Yeah, it's much better.
Though, I didn't see any grammar errors, it was mostly punctuation.

 

[Storm Yoshi]

You've got my permission...remember my real username is Storm Yoshi

 

[yoshster]

Ok cool, i'll add u in the 3rd issue :D