Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz Review(rage rant w/ over reaction & exaggeration)

chillv

chillv

9-Volt must be my video game counterpart.
Note that this is an over exaggerated and over reaction review. I don't actually feel this way about the game. This is just to make you laugh.

Oh, hello everyone! This is chillv coming to you with the first and only game that he despises immensely!

First off, this game is worse than sonic 06. At least in that game, you can just.. STRUGGLE AND STRUGGLE! your way through it and have some kind of fun with it. This game is fun at first but eventually is crap after oh, I don't know YOU BEAT THE MAIN GAME AND HAVE TO DO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN WITHOUT USING A CONTINUE! to unlock the last two worlds. The minigames are the worst I've ever played and I would literally play DDI's minigames than these pieces of crap. The minigames consist of stupid motion controls that CAN EASILY BE DONE WITH BUTTONS INSTEAD! The character design is terrible. Gongon has a pink shirt on even though it's red on the cover, he has a bear's tail and I am not even sure if yanyan is even a money or not because she has no ears and a raccoon tail. The minigames also seem untested. If I asked the developers if they tested these minigames and said yes I would like to know WHERE IS THEIR FREAKING PROOF! I also like how they put the girls on the thumbnails of the minigames that you have to swing like a girl on and put the gongon and the minigames that require actual strength or something. This must apply that sega is sexist and thinks girls are not fit for actual MAN waggle and should only bother with games that require soft... girly... WAGGLE! I also do not understand why they make you basically play through the main game again with using a continue. DID THEY EVEN TRY TO DO THEMSELVES!?!?! The levels in the main game are very simple but because of the CRAP PHYSICS! this game has, you will mostly find yourself praying that you don't bounce into the abyss because of your "fragile ball"...

Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is a piece of crap that consist of pieces of crap! It was throw into a pile of crap for being a piece of crap, married a piece of crap and had little pieces of crap!
 
Banana Blitz is actually quite good and challenging. The main game was very good, some of the mini games are fun while others suck.

Step and Roll on the other hand is a massive step back, I got it first and liked it for ten minutes. There's so much I hate about this game.
 
NSY said:
Banana Blitz is actually quite good and challenging. The main game was very good, some of the mini games are fun while others suck.

Step and Roll on the other hand is a massive step back, I got it first and liked it for ten minutes. There's so much I hate about this game.
Click to expand...

I never played step and roll but it looks better than banana blitz quality wise.

Banana blitz isn't bad. I said that this is an over reaction and exaggeration. I don't actually feel that the game is crap but the physics feel very sloppy and the minigames are hard to play mostly because of bad motion control.

Step and Roll may not have jumping or as many levels and minigames as banana blitz but it's way better in quality.

QUALITY OVER QUANTITIY

but really, I understand why banana blitz is sp buggy. It was a rushed launch title for the wii so what can you expect.
 
Saying this game is worse than Sonic 06 is a major stretch
 
NSY said:
Banana Blitz is actually quite good and challenging. The main game was very good, some of the mini games are fun while others suck.

Step and Roll on the other hand is a massive step back, I got it first and liked it for ten minutes. There's so much I hate about this game.
Click to expand...

I personally miss the original Super Monkey Balls where you didn't play levels in groups of ten and you actually have a challenge because you have to survive all the levels, either 10, 30, or 50 levels, and it's the fact that it's consecutive with no breaks that makes it challenging. I seriously think that Super Monkey Ball nowadays are just very simplified and easy to beat.
 
Xerneas said:
NSY said:
Banana Blitz is actually quite good and challenging. The main game was very good, some of the mini games are fun while others suck.

Step and Roll on the other hand is a massive step back, I got it first and liked it for ten minutes. There's so much I hate about this game.
Click to expand...

I personally miss the original Super Monkey Balls where you didn't play levels in groups of ten and you actually have a challenge because you have to survive all the levels, either 10, 30, or 50 levels, and it's the fact that it's consecutive with no breaks that makes it challenging. I seriously think that Super Monkey Ball nowadays are just very simplified and easy to beat.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that was basically what I don't like about the modern super monkey ball games.
 
chillv said:
Xerneas said:
NSY said:
Banana Blitz is actually quite good and challenging. The main game was very good, some of the mini games are fun while others suck.

Step and Roll on the other hand is a massive step back, I got it first and liked it for ten minutes. There's so much I hate about this game.
Click to expand...

I personally miss the original Super Monkey Balls where you didn't play levels in groups of ten and you actually have a challenge because you have to survive all the levels, either 10, 30, or 50 levels, and it's the fact that it's consecutive with no breaks that makes it challenging. I seriously think that Super Monkey Ball nowadays are just very simplified and easy to beat.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that was basically what I don't like about the modern super monkey ball games.
Click to expand...

The farthest I get usually get is like level 42 in the Super Monkey Ball 2 Advanced Setting (50 levels).

What I really liked about the second one is that the story mode allowed you to experience all the levels and try it until you figure out how to beat it, and it really made a great balance between the consecutive difficulty and the individual level playing.
 
Baby Luigi said:
Saying this game is worse than Sonic 06 is a major stretch
Click to expand...
Yeah, this was basically a parody of neverchris. It all started at from this thread. (http://www.marioboards.com/index.php?topic=24684.0) I also tried to make it look troll-ish by not correcting my errors. Here are a few examples in a spoiler
The minigames are the worst I've ever played and I would literally play DDI's minigames than these pieces of crap.

Do you mean just games?

I also do not understand why they make you basically play through the main game again with using a continue. DID THEY EVEN TRY TO DO THEMSELVES!?!?!

Did they even try to do themselves? So you are asking did they try to "do" themselves. Don't you mean did they try to do "it" themselves?

Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is a piece of crap that consist of pieces of crap! It was throw into a pile of crap for being a piece of crap, married a piece of crap and had little pieces of crap!

First off, it supposed to be consists, not consist. Second, it supposed to be thrown, not throw.
 
I just tried the Demo of this game, and I can say, your Review is written without knowing what you're saying.

Oh, hello everyone! This is chillv coming to you with the first and only game that he despises immensely!
Click to expand...
Sure, go ahead.
First off, this game is worse than sonic 06.
Click to expand...
It's way better than what you say, no notable Bugs, etc.
At least in that game, you can just.. STRUGGLE AND STRUGGLE! your way through it and have some kind of fun with it.
Click to expand...
If you fall off all the time, doesn't mean everyone does.
This game is fun at first but eventually is crap after oh, I don't know YOU BEAT THE MAIN GAME AND HAVE TO DO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN WITHOUT USING A CONTINUE! to unlock the last two worlds.
Click to expand...
Is this the NES Era?
The minigames are the worst I've ever played and I would literally play DDI's minigames than these pieces of crap. The minigames consist of stupid motion controls that CAN EASILY BE DONE WITH BUTTONS INSTEAD!
Click to expand...
Actually, in the Demo, the 2 Mini Games were controlled by Touch Screen or Analog Sticks, where is that Motion Control you're talking about?
The character design is terrible. Gongon has a pink shirt on even though it's red on the cover, he has a bear's tail and I am not even sure if yanyan is even a money or not because she has no ears and a raccoon tail.
Click to expand...
...
The minigames also seem untested. If I asked the developers if they tested these minigames and said yes I would like to know WHERE IS THEIR FREAKING PROOF! I also like how they put the girls on the thumbnails of the minigames that you have to swing like a girl on and put the gongon and the minigames that require actual strength or something.
Click to expand...
So, first Minigames, then Character Design, and then back to Minigames?
If they were untested, the game could crash at any second, weird stuff will happen at any moment, etc.
They have to test, maybe not the Developers, but still people working for them do, for a living.
This must apply that sega is sexist and thinks girls are not fit for actual MAN waggle and should only bother with games that require soft... girly... WAGGLE!
Click to expand...
This Comment is sexist, actually.
I also do not understand why they make you basically play through the main game again with using a continue. DID THEY EVEN TRY TO DO THEMSELVES!?!?!
Click to expand...
Refer back to what I said about Testing.
The levels in the main game are very simple but because of the CRAP PHYSICS! this game has, you will mostly find yourself praying that you don't bounce into the abyss because of your "fragile ball"...
Click to expand...
The Physics are very polished, actually.
The Levels are hard, in Advanced Mode, I could barely get through the first Level in there.
Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is a piece of crap that consist of pieces of crap! It was throw into a pile of crap for being a piece of crap, married a piece of crap and had little pieces of crap!
Click to expand...
Aka, you can't find the Toilet?
 
I did, but it doesn't mean I can't counter something.
 
MKGirlism said:
I just tried the Demo of this game, and I can say, your Review is written without knowing what you're saying.

Oh, hello everyone! This is chillv coming to you with the first and only game that he despises immensely!
Click to expand...
Sure, go ahead.
First off, this game is worse than sonic 06.
Click to expand...
It's way better than what you say, no notable Bugs, etc.
At least in that game, you can just.. STRUGGLE AND STRUGGLE! your way through it and have some kind of fun with it.
Click to expand...
If you fall off all the time, doesn't mean everyone does.
This game is fun at first but eventually is crap after oh, I don't know YOU BEAT THE MAIN GAME AND HAVE TO DO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN WITHOUT USING A CONTINUE! to unlock the last two worlds.
Click to expand...
Is this the NES Era?
The minigames are the worst I've ever played and I would literally play DDI's minigames than these pieces of crap. The minigames consist of stupid motion controls that CAN EASILY BE DONE WITH BUTTONS INSTEAD!
Click to expand...
Actually, in the Demo, the 2 Mini Games were controlled by Touch Screen or Analog Sticks, where is that Motion Control you're talking about?
The character design is terrible. Gongon has a pink shirt on even though it's red on the cover, he has a bear's tail and I am not even sure if yanyan is even a money or not because she has no ears and a raccoon tail.
Click to expand...
...
The minigames also seem untested. If I asked the developers if they tested these minigames and said yes I would like to know WHERE IS THEIR FREAKING PROOF! I also like how they put the girls on the thumbnails of the minigames that you have to swing like a girl on and put the gongon and the minigames that require actual strength or something.
Click to expand...
So, first Minigames, then Character Design, and then back to Minigames?
If they were untested, the game could crash at any second, weird stuff will happen at any moment, etc.
They have to test, maybe not the Developers, but still people working for them do, for a living.
This must apply that sega is sexist and thinks girls are not fit for actual MAN waggle and should only bother with games that require soft... girly... WAGGLE!
Click to expand...
This Comment is sexist, actually.
I also do not understand why they make you basically play through the main game again with using a continue. DID THEY EVEN TRY TO DO THEMSELVES!?!?!
Click to expand...
Refer back to what I said about Testing.
The levels in the main game are very simple but because of the CRAP PHYSICS! this game has, you will mostly find yourself praying that you don't bounce into the abyss because of your "fragile ball"...
Click to expand...
The Physics are very polished, actually.
The Levels are hard, in Advanced Mode, I could barely get through the first Level in there.
Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is a piece of crap that consist of pieces of crap! It was throw into a pile of crap for being a piece of crap, married a piece of crap and had little pieces of crap!
Click to expand...
Aka, you can't find the Toilet?
Click to expand...

Um, you must have this mistaken for the another version (maybe the ds, 3ds or ps vita versions?). I was talking about the first wii version "banana blitz". Banana blitz has worlds instead of three difficulty modes.

Let me actually give me real review for this game in another post.

Btw, i'm going to make another one of these reviews. In fact, I think im going to create a website for reviews like this one.
 
Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is sort of a puzzle platformer for the Wii that consists of tilting a stage to roll a monkey in a ball. It is the 8th game in the series counting the arcade version "MONKEY BALL". I will first go over the main game then go over the minigames.

Main Game
The main game is basically what I said the game consists of, tilting the stage to roll a monkey in a ball. There are 10 worlds in total, each with a different setting and difficulty. The last two are locked until you beat the game and beat every world without using a continue. I don't really like this since it seems to much like a sneaky way to extend replay value. The story begins with AiAi and his freinds admiring some golden bananas until a big ape steals them. They then go after him to get the bananas back. Even though this story is kind of corny in my opinion it seems like they could have had an opportunity to give this an interesting story but instead, the story is not at all touched upon at all until the end of the game. It seems as if the story is just there just to say that this game has a story. At least super monkey ball 2 and super monkey ball adventure at least had entertaining cutscenes and dialogue in between each level. Why couldn't this game have the same thing?
In fact, the ending isn't so good either. They get the golden bananas back and all of a sudden they are on a big ship and they turn the golden bananas into a steering wheel. Where did they get the ship from in the first place? Did they build the ship? If so, where did they get the resouces from? If they actually added more to the story then just a beginning and end these questions could have been answered
The physics in this game are ok, but I feel that they are kind of weird and could have been improved on a bit more. This is very noticeable if you jump onto grooves, go into tunnels, hit pointy or smooth edges or even play a fast, roller coaster like stage. This is very crucial since it can cause a lot of unfair deaths, especially in harder levels. The level design is ok, but it's not as good as later games which is kind of dispointing.

Minigame
There are way too many minigames to go over so I will talk about all of them as a whole. The minigames vary between ok and downright awful, but there are very few that are awful. The problem with most of these minigame are the motion control, they only stop them from being enjoyable in my opinion but eventually you will get used to them. The minigames themselves are very general, this does not make them bad though, they are actually kind of enjoyable and are good to play if you want to take a load off from playing the main game.

Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz is an ok game, but I have to admit it could have been better than what it is. However, this was a rushed launch title so it is understandable.

I give this a 4/5
 
Indeed, I was talking about the PS Vita Version, I didn't know of the existence of the Wii Version.
I know there's a 3DS Version, but that one isn't Banana Blitz.
 
MKGirlism said:
Indeed, I was talking about the PS Vita Version, I didn't know of the existence of the Wii Version.
I know there's a 3DS Version, but that one isn't Banana Blitz.
Click to expand...

The PS vita version is called banana splitz. I understand why you got the name confused with banana blitz since they look very similar.
 
Then it all explains it, it's indeed confusing.
 
The 3DS version was very easy though.
 
Toad Eightyfive said:
I don't even know how to respond to this.
Click to expand...
I see that you're speechless about the review.
 
Chillv, is "speechless" something he owns, touches, eats, drinks, whatever?
(Hint hint: "You're".)
 
MKGirlism said:
Chillv, is "speechless" something he owns, touches, eats, drinks, whatever?
(Hint hint: "You're".)
Click to expand...
I know that I made that typo but I honestly didn't care about it. You know what I was trying to say.
 
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