ICJO

Stargazing

Stargazing

just some guy
Pronouns
he/him
Guess how many times I typed this today? Too many. This'll be updated every time a new chapter comes out.

FUN FACT: I was going to make this a comic, but I got way too lazy.

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Chapter One
 
"Hey, haven't you heard of nicknames? Or has your tounge morphed into an icicle so that you can only speak coldly to others?" Ice says, and Icicle gives him a glare. "Sorry, she takes a long time to warm up to people."

"But, if she warms up to people, she'll melt." I say as I look at him curiously. They both burst out laughing.
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Oh, so you give yourself the better jokes. I see how it is.

Interesting start, though I'm not really one to explain jokes so deeply like that, it detracts from the "hah" factor. By that, I mean you could've just said "or is your tongue an icicle?" and you could assume the readers would get what I'm getting at.

EDIT:

Vaporeon said:
I got way too lazy.
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So you're Starlazing, am I right? :dk:
 
Correct, I am.

EDIT: I have to give you the better jokes next time. I thought both of them were equal on the rating system, but I'm not the one with the rating system.
 
yo iciclerain never told me she was morphling
 
"Well, since we're the only people that work at the base in Foret of Etoile, we might as well make the best of our friendsh- WOAH!" The train comes to a screeching halt.
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By the way, what's a Foret?
 
It's a for with an et for hands.

It's "forest".

Javelin said:
yo iciclerain never told me she was morphling
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well she should've I got that line straight from her lol

Lt. Surge said:
Totally calling that the train is the antagonist.
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Curses, foiled again!

There's a side chapter going up Monday. This story's been ready for a while, but I'm uploading it tomorrow to build suspence. (also because I'm lazy and I can't think of a good title)

Also next chapter's going to be updated on Sunday.
I'm going to have so much fun with this...
 
Glaceon said:
Now you can upload it because you know how to keep track of your things. :yoshi:
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:yoshi:

In all seriousness though, something happened to it. It was in my notes an hour ago... :(
 
Glaceon said:
Vaporeon said:
In all seriousness though, something happened to it. It was in my notes an hour ago... :(
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Try searching your area for its file name, if you remember it.
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Notes = iPad app = no file name = no way to find it

I'm basically fucked.
Oh well, it was kind of sucky anyways. I can live with rewriting it.
 
normally i would offer criticism but i'm not because two reasons

1. i'm kind of a sucker for ice powers

2. it's nice to be reading anything new at all and i don't want to end it prematurely
 
Javelin said:
normally i would offer criticism but i'm not because two reasons

1. i'm kind of a sucker for ice powers

2. it's nice to be reading anything new at all and i don't want to end it prematurely
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nah go ahead but pm it to me i pay way more attention to pms

The second episode will be way better than this. That being said, I'm diverting most of my non-school and non-Mafia attention to the second chapter, so like there is no side chapter. The next one will be a little more descriptive and whatnot.

also yeah ice powers are pretty fucking chill I understand completely why you like them
 
whoops that fell under my editing radar
i was going to fix that

... eh, too late now
 
By the way, you've been rather inconsistent.

As in, at the start you use "codename", but at the end you use "code name". Decide on one.
 
Glaceon said:
As in, at the start you use "codename", but at the end you use "code name". Decide on one.
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wow my editing radar sucks

it's "code name", but apparently my space bar does not liek like (is that my cue to go to sleep) me.
 
How about you all go to Grumble Volcano to stop some villian guy and all of your powers are useless, including Star's because the smoke is blocking the sky
 
Nysice said:
How about you all go to Grumble Volcano to stop some villian guy and all of your powers are useless, including Star's because the smoke is blocking the sky
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ok
 
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