Star League, the most official of Mario games.

Time Turner

Time Turner

You are filled with determination. (R/GD/TT)
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Don't mind the lack of a title: this is Star League, an iOS game which has definitely been licensed by Nintendo and has definitely been given the right to use assets from the Super Mario series.

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Despite what Peach here is saying, this game definitely said Star League when I downloaded it. Also, I did not name myself Captain SAMA, the name just decided that I would prefer to be called that.

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Wait a minute, Mario doesn't talk! I knew something here was fishy!

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Truly, Mario is the most well-spoken of heroes. He spent years in college for a liberal arts degree, and he'll make good use of it!

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Unfortunately, those years in college has left him completely sheltered from his own family. He can no longer remember his brother's name; even when the text box calls him Luigi, he doesn't recognize it.

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Those exclamation points really sell how serious the situation is.

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As this is nothing more than screenshots, this is a good opportunity to point out that every piece of dialogue has been accompanied with a voice clip. I bring this up now because Bowser's clip is, word-for-word, "I am the great Wart! Mwahaha!"

Clearly, Wart was actually Bowser all along! All these years, we've been hoping that he made a comeback, and it turns out that he was here this whole time.

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Actually, Bowser isn't here. Guess he went to clean his shell or something?

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Wait, never mind, Bowser just wanted to make a dramatic appearance after having already made his appearance. Second impressions matter and whatnot.

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You know the drill. Even shoddy clearly official iOS games know to stick to the basics. We have a definite goal, so let's-a-go!

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But not before some gratuitous swearing!

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Meta Knight, what are you doing here, silly? Can't you tell that this is a Mario game?

what the hell is this game
 
Please show more, please.
 
Will this be on Steam Greenlight!?!?!?!?!!?!?
 
And we all thought Nintendo's move to mobile was a good idea!

But wait! It's not on Android! Thank you to whoever developed this "game" for saving half the population from something totally not for Mario fa - wait, scratch that. Totally not for anyone who thinks this a real Nintendo game - wait, no, how about not for anyone who likes actual games.

But seriously, I wanna know who made this game and how long it's going to be before Nintendo sues them. If Nintendo didn't make it, that is. If Nintendo did make it, then I think I might just have to boycott them once and for all.
 
good find Time Turner-sama.
 
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Well, there's no holding it back. World 1, which for some reason is the burning lava world usually reserved for the final world, here we go!

(Hi, Link! Hi, MegaMan!)

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Please stop calling me that. At least stop shouting it.

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Luigi has apparently decided to cower in the corner, considering he's nowhere to be found. Even in the realm of iOS, nothing has changed.

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I didn't get a good shot of it here, but you actually start off with seven characters and not just the one that we saw before. You can see bits of them here, but first, we need more dialogue!

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...

Bowser Jr. confirmed to be Peach's son?

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Bowser isn't even the king of anything. He has a castle, sure, but he hardly uses it to rule over anything.

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Nobody calls me chicken.

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So the fight begins, and- OUCH. Over two hundred damage on the first attack?! This really is the final world!

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Let's actually take a look at our team now. We have Mario, Luigi, Yoshi (makes sense), Toad (finally being useful), Toon Link (not even adult Link?), Charmander (clearly the strongest of Pokemon) and Amy Rose (who raises her pinkie when swinging her hammer like a proper lady, and also she isn't even a Nintendo character WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE)

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In other news, attacks hurt, but fear not, for it is our turn!

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Toad Kinopio actually uses a Double Cherry to split into three and then swings a pickax (Super Pickax). If I wasn't annoyed at the game's premise, I'd be impressed.

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Luigi glares at the enemy so hard that shells fly out of his eyes.

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Yoshi, meanwhile, uses a hidden martial arts move only known by the most prehistoric of users: Eggy Spirit Bomb!

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Our opponents take their turn: true to character, Donkey Kong attempts to smash everyone, and Wario pelvic thrusts a bomb.

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uhhuh yep that's totally a mace good job game

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Unlike all of the other characters, Link can only attack a single enemy, making him dubiously useful, but in moments where the player must face a single powerful enemy, he can be invaluable. Of course, this is assuming there's something that resembles thought in this game.

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You sure looked pained, Bowser the Second.

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For a tutorial, this seems unfair.

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HOT HOT HOT I WAS RIGHT

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Right, of course, the Assisting Power that Mario always uses. It's his signature move, just ahead of his headbutt that everyone knows he does.

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Boy, the Matrix sure has gone through some renovations.

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This is the first part of the game that actually feels like I'm in control.

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And there it goes. Goodbye, control; you will be missed.

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Kinda late to the party, Charmander, the heroes already did their uber attack and everything.

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As it turns out, Assisting Power is pretty lame, since Chamander's Ember was what took it out.

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But who cares about that, we won! And Mario, being the valiant hero that he is, hogs all of the experience for himself.

I've also gotten a ticket (which I forgot to screencap but take my word that it was there)! Let's see what it does!

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You know, I'm starting to think that this may not be a Mario game after all. It might actually be a Smash Bros. game!
 
Ok, why is this not an official thing?

I mean shit if Nintendo really wanted to they could do a mini mario and friends crap where the game is free and you just need to buy amiibos to get the character on your team.
 
honestly if nintendo did something like this (obviously without all of the bad translation and shitty sprites and other typical bootleg stuff) it could actually be a really cool phone game
 
For what it's worth, the (seemingly) original artwork is pretty decent. I wouldn't be surprised if it was as stolen as everything else, but all of it is fluid and expressive. Each attack also makes sense for what the characters normally do, so props to the dev for that. If the sprites are actually original, it begs the question as to why they didn't just make an original game.
 
Time Turner said:
Bowser isn't even the king of anything. He has a castle, sure, but he hardly uses it to rule over anything.
Click to expand...

He's the king of darkland btw.
 
my documentation of testing this game

[18:59] Freakworld wew lad
[18:59] Freakworld >literally using the main theme from smash 4
[18:59] Freakworld top kek
[18:59] Freakworld this is a great app
[19:00] Freakworld and now super mario 3d world music
[19:00] Freakworld Princess Peach: HI CAPTAIN SAMA WELCOME TO POKEMON ALL STAR
[19:00] Freakworld PFFFF
[19:01] Freakworld also shes talking on japanese i think
[19:01] Freakworld >please name your team
[19:01] Freakworld i named my team retards
[19:01] Freakworld i hope thats my login name for this game now
[19:01] Freakworld >louis
[19:02] Freakworld >LOUIS
[19:02] Freakworld WHY IS HE CALLING LUIGI LOUIS
[19:02] Freakworld BOWSER HAS THE SOUND BITE: "I AM THE GREAT WART"
[19:02] Freakworld IM DYING
[19:03] Freakworld there meta knight on a building
[19:03] Freakworld oh fuck
[19:03] Freakworld *theres
[19:03] Freakworld my name is actually retards
[19:03] Freakworld theres a chat
[19:04] Freakworld oh boy the smash results screen music plays on the world map screen
[19:04] Freakworld and the world all have boss characters apparently
[19:05] Freakworld bowser jr, toon link, iggy, megamn, roy, morton, i dont even know who this is, WALUIGI, wario, ludwig, bowser jr again, MIDNA and ganonsorf
[19:05] Freakworld *dorf
[19:05] Freakworld o k a y
[19:06] Freakworld okay
[19:06] Freakworld uh
[19:06] Freakworld BOWSER: "DREAMER! LOVE CANT BE EARNED WITHOUT VIOLENCE! NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM MAKING ANOTHER BABY!"
[19:06] Freakworld WHAT THE FUCK
[19:07] Freakworld im in tears
[19:07] Freakworld okay so uh i have a team now
[19:07] Freakworld its mario, yoshi, toad, toon link, luigi (or louis i guess), amy rose (???), and charmander
[19:08] Freakworld OH
[19:08] Freakworld THEYRE CALLING BOWSER JR BOWSER II
[19:08] Freakworld BOWSER II
[19:08] Freakworld okay this seems to be some sort of rpg
[19:08] Freakworld ???
[19:08] Freakworld the battle system looks incredibly odd
[19:09] Freakworld oh and the enemies are a bunch of koopalings + bowser jr + wario and donkey kong
[19:09] Freakworld pfff
[19:09] Freakworld warios attack animation
[19:10] Freakworld looks like hes hitting a bomb with his dick so it flies towards us
[19:10] Freakworld o no its mecha bowser
[19:10] Freakworld tbh this is already better than sticker star
[19:11] Freakworld oh and mario & luigi have m&l styled special attacks apparently
[19:12] Freakworld YO I UNLOCKED MIDNA RIGHT AWAY
[19:12] Freakworld ALRIGHT
[19:12] Freakworld yo i got megaman
[19:12] Freakworld whos referred to as megaman but w/e
[19:13] Freakworld i wonder who they put into this bootleg hell
[19:13] Freakworld *who else
[19:13] Freakworld *rockman
[19:14] Freakworld alright next battle is mario, midna and megaman vs roy and 2 goombas
[19:14] -->| Nabber (Nabber@zumt-512-687-677-145.nat.rutgers.edu) has joined #draggyfreakychat
[19:15] Freakworld nabber im playing the best bootleg game
[19:15] Freakworld http://www.marioboards.com/index.php?topic=37702.0
[19:15] Freakworld everything about this is perfect
[19:16] Nabber here comes mario
[19:16] Freakworld im a few battles in
[19:17] Freakworld best stuff so far was bowser literally had wart's soundbite from sma2, and he directly referenced raping peach in his script
[19:17] -->| CountBonsula (mr_bones@105.103.kjp.uy) has joined #draggyfreakychat
[19:17] Freakworld and i unlocked midna and megaman
[19:17] Freakworld oh and bowser jr is called "Bowser II"
[19:17] Freakworld KEK
[19:17] Freakworld DR MARIO IS CALLED DR MARY
[19:17] Freakworld HAHAHAHAAAAH
[19:18] Freakworld well at least they got pit and meta knight right
[19:18] Freakworld also i called myself "retards"
[19:19] Freakworld surprised that wasnt taken
[19:19] Freakworld so far i can not click anything except what the game wants me to click though lol
[19:19] Freakworld OH NO
[19:19] Freakworld OH NO
[19:20] Freakworld DONKEY KONG IS CALLED KING KONG
[19:20] Freakworld "KING KONG IS HERE. DROP YOUR WEAPON AND SUBMIT"
[19:21] Freakworld now i accidentally closed the aop
[19:21] Freakworld LOL THE INTRO IS THE CHARIZARD CHALLENGER MOVIE FROM ssb4
[19:21] Freakworld WEW
[19:21] Freakworld i skipped this first time around
[19:21] Freakworld AND NOW IT CUTS TO MEGAMAN TRAILER
[19:21] Freakworld now charizard again
[19:21] Freakworld and megaman
[19:22] Freakworld AND THEN IT JUST ENDS
[19:22] Freakworld PFFF
[19:22] Freakworld ok im back where i was
[19:22] Freakworld alright king kong lets go
[19:22] Freakworld WEW LAD
[19:23] Freakworld THE L ON LUIGIS CAP IS THE WRONG WAY AROUND
[19:23] Freakworld I JUST NOTICED
[19:23] Freakworld im literally not doing anything rn
[19:23] Freakworld the game plays itself
[19:23] Freakworld this is so fucking topkek
[19:24] Freakworld somebody call joel to make a video on this
[19:24] Freakworld please
[19:24] Freakworld MARIO: "HAHA GET READY FOR MY AIR HADOKEN"
[19:25] Freakworld wew the text in this game is cringe
[19:25] Gabumon mario seems more like a fire hadoken man
[19:25] Freakworld best bootleg around
[19:25] Freakworld srsly
[19:26] Gabumon I guess an air hadoken is basically a kamehameha though
[19:26] Gabumon since the dragonball movie calls the kamehameha airbending
[19:26] Freakworld okay im finally
[19:26] Freakworld out of the "click this to continue" mode
[19:27] Freakworld time to explore
[19:27] Freakworld i wrote in the chat "youre all gay faggots"
[19:27] Freakworld it censored gay but not faggots
[19:27] Freakworld gg
[19:28] Freakworld im literally called retards
[19:28] Freakworld theres a fucking time machine in the menu
[19:29] Freakworld somebody replied in chat "WELCOME TO MY BLACKLIST"
[19:29] Freakworld okay then
[19:30] Freakworld oh new enemies
[19:30] Freakworld lakitu, zss, king dedede, morton
[19:31] Freakworld enemy lineup -> picture of toadsworth
[19:31] Freakworld why would toadsworth be an enemy
[19:31] Freakworld what did he do
[19:31] Freakworld was he converted to team bowser?
[19:31] Freakworld did they kick him out because he voted trump?
[19:31] Freakworld wow toadsworth isnt even in this level
[19:31] Freakworld kek
[19:32] Freakworld this game satisfies every trope
[19:32] Freakworld there ever was
[19:32] Freakworld about bootlegs
[19:32] Freakworld enemy lineup -> sonic
[19:32] Freakworld oh boi
[19:33] Freakworld sonic is actually an enemy here though
[19:33] Freakworld oh sheik is in my team noiw
[19:33] Freakworld hey sheik
[19:33] Freakworld OH THATS SNAKE
[19:33] Freakworld LOL
[19:34] Freakworld (the one i couldnt identify before)
[19:34] Freakworld yeah sure lets hire snake
[19:34] tailmon this sounds like an experience
[19:34] Freakworld you wouldnt know
[19:34] Freakworld im glad i bought an iphone rn
[19:35] Freakworld also did i mention yet how this is an mmo basically
[19:35] Freakworld fucking bootleg ios mmo
[19:36] Freakworld zelda is an enemy in this level
[19:36] Freakworld ok
[19:36] Freakworld sonic and amy have a special attack as well
[19:36] Freakworld figures
[19:36] Freakworld snake just rekts shit because he has some kind of plasma gun
[19:37] Freakworld also i just noticed theres a pentagram on the floor of the battle background
[19:37] Freakworld lol
[19:37] Freakworld wew lad world 2 is using sticker star assets
[19:38] Freakworld this world is called "imperial war"
[19:38] Freakworld yeah this world is sticker star themed, also the battle background
[19:39] Freakworld also the ingame messages are referring to players as "Bros"
[19:39] Freakworld and when they talk only to you its always "Captain SAMA" (with that exact caps)
[19:40] Freakworld oh
[19:40] Freakworld oh boy
[19:40] Freakworld i can see now
[19:40] Freakworld whos in this game
[19:40] Freakworld okay so after dr mary theres kirby
[19:40] Freakworld seems normal
[19:40] Freakworld theres yoshi
[19:40] Freakworld theres
[19:40] Freakworld theres cop
[19:40] Freakworld cop is m bison
[19:40] Freakworld ...
[19:40] Freakworld theres ""sams""
[19:40] Freakworld whos samus
[19:40] Freakworld or more correctly, zero suit samus
[19:41] Freakworld they somehow managed to write the entirety of princess zelda correctly
[19:41] tailmon sams
[19:41] Freakworld fox, sonic, wolf
[19:41] Freakworld amy
[19:41] Freakworld GANONDOM
[19:41] Freakworld king kong, already saw that one
[19:41] Freakworld DD KING
[19:41] Freakworld >DD King
[19:41] Freakworld >>>>>DD King
[19:41] Freakworld SHEIK IS """""Sik"
[19:41] Freakworld Sik.7
[19:41] Freakworld S i k
[19:42] tailmon this is amazing
[19:42] Freakworld bowser ii we already saw him
[19:42] Freakworld toad is kinopio
[19:42] Freakworld okay
[19:42] Freakworld thats his japanese name i guess
[19:42] Freakworld wow captain falcon is "metalhawk"
[19:42] Freakworld like why
[19:42] Freakworld waluigi
[19:42] Freakworld OH NO
[19:42] Freakworld OH NO
[19:43] Freakworld okay theres luigi and princess peach and then theres
[19:43] Freakworld "Razue Tower"
[19:43] Freakworld please guess whos Razue Tower
[19:43] Freakworld also i stopped for now
[19:43] Freakworld holy shit
[19:43] Freakworld that was a laugh
[19:44] Freakworld Razue Tower
[19:44] tailmon is it me
[19:45] Freakworld fuc k
[19:45] Freakworld http://image.prntscr.com/image/f4bf5da681ab4bda840ffc0b81aece61.png
[19:47] Freakworld also thats small because i have an iphone 5s which has a comparatively tiny screen
[19:52] tailmon how does rosalina become rauze tower
[19:52] Freakworld dont ask me ask the (probably chinese) people who made this
[19:52] Freakworld also i didnt see the in app purchases yet
[19:52] Freakworld but ill continue playing this later
[19:52] Freakworld apple will probably pull this soon
[19:53] Freakworld so download while you can
 
Time Turner said:
As this is nothing more than screenshots, this is a good opportunity to point out that every piece of dialogue has been accompanied with a voice clip. I bring this up now because Bowser's clip is, word-for-word, "I am the great Wart! Mwahaha!"
Click to expand...
Ok, this is the time to reveal it...

Bowser's real name is Wart von Koopa.
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After his son Ludwig was born, he fled to the Dark Land for unknown reasons, and there he changed his name to Bowser Koopa. His subsequent children were named only Koopa accordingly.
Don't tell this to Bowser Jr., though, he's too little to understand.
 
can someone give me a link to this game? google is telling me nothing of this masterpiece
 
Nigerian Prince said:
can someone give me a link to this game? google is telling me nothing of this masterpiece
Click to expand...

search for star league on the app store, its like the third entry.

the game is only on ios
 
Or if you don't mind Chinese, look for Pocket All-Stars, that might be for Android if it hasn't been taken down or filled with viruses...
 
Fake games usually end up being so bad it's it's good but this looks like someone actually put effort in.

I'm shocked.
 
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