I'll survive and win because...

[Sweet Snow]

The above user is a bad guy, you are a good guy, the bad guy has a plan that ends in death and defeat, counter with a way you survive and beat them, no matter how silly, this topic was brought to you by JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

I'll start things off, of course.

I throw you into lava

 

[Teedgee]

Mmmmmhhhh, you got a nice hot tub!

I will eat your house (I'm very uncreative)

 

[Ray Trace]

jokes on you, i'm the witch from hansel and gretel and i boil you alive

 

[Cocoa]

I think we all know how Hansel and Gretel ends.

BroBot shows up and crushes you!

 

[Teedgee]

Thank God he's made of paper so that didn't hurt at all.

I trap you in a room with a falling spiked ceiling.

 

[Yoshi the SSM]

Good design, Toadgamer. Really good design.

*Goes to the side of the spikes and gets on them and ride them to the top. This is from Super Paper Mario btw.*

I unleash a hungry Chain Chomp on you.

 

[Teedgee]

*finds a stick on the ground.

Hey boy! You want the stick? FETCH!

*Chain chomp runs after the stick.

I infiltrate a bomb inside of you that'll explode in seconds.

 

[Cocoa]

I survive because I am the Green Thunder. . .

*Dramatic Music*

MR. L!!!


I impale the next poster.

 

[London Parris]

Nice try, I'm wearing body armour.

I put you in front of a tornado.

 

[Sweet Snow]

I control the wind and weather

I throw you into the sun

 

[YoshiFlutterJump]

A message on the screen says "SHINE!" I dance and celebrate.

King Dedede whacks you with his ultra-powerful Dedede Hammer.

 

[Specific Neptune]

i'm made of jelly so i won't feel anything (changed up from the previous response of "I'm fireproof" because ninja'd)

i leave you in a box with a nuke that is about to blow up in three, two, one...

 

[Teedgee]

I got help

I hug the next user to the death.

 

[Moldomré]

Except that I happen to own a vortex manipulator and warp away in the nick of time, leaving in mt place a bomb to destroy you.

As I said, I have a bomb to destroy you with.

 

[Cocoa]

It fizzed out.

The celestial power uses you as a battery for the next thousand years.

 

[Specific Neptune]

i overpower it because he squished my walkman

sauron gets the one ring and vows to destroy you

 

[Cocoa]

-“You are trespassing in this city and on this planet.”

-“He means get lost, squidward!”


A conveniently placed rock falls on you

 

[Specific Neptune]

luckily the rock is two inches big, so at worst it gives me a minor concussion


a redwood tree falls on you

 

[J-Yoshi64]

I can use my BS-protagonist-powered watch to use the Cutter ability from Kirby to cut through the tree.

I then use the same copy ability to attack.