Greninja The Mario Karter
Greninja the Water/Dark Ninja
- Pronouns
- He, Him, His
If you've seen me anywhere on the Internet, you'll know that the Mega Mushroom, POW Block, and Thunder Cloud (the items exclusive to Wii) are what I consider to be the worst items in the series. I will talk about why I hate each item so much.
Mega Mushroom
Of the items exclusive to Wii, the Mega Mushroom is the one I hate the least, but I still hate it more than the Blooper and Coin. For starters, it's literally just a worse version of the Star. You don't gain as much speed as when using a Star, and you're still vulnerable to racers with Bullet Bills and Stars. Such a disgrace to the Star. Not to mention you return to normal when struck by Lightning, ending the effect early. Second, unless you're near a group of racers, using it is pretty much useless. Third, if you just so happen to be on the receiving end of it, you will effectively lose the race because getting flattened by a Mega Mushroom driver slows you down to the point of ending up in last place.
POW Block
The POW Block is my arch nemesis, is an absolute menace to society, and is almost the worst item in the series. This less effective Lightning appears above all racers ahead of the user and causes an earthquake. The main reason why this Lightning ripoff is a menace to society is because it appears far too frequently in races. There can be up to five of this menace per race, or even more. Once the POW Block appears above your kart to warn you of your impending doom, that means your doom is inevitable (although you can press up on the D-Pad or shake your Wii Remote to reduce the effect to delay the inevitable), you won't be able to recover, and your race will be over. This may force you to fall off the track, which will definitely cost you the race anyway, but at least you won't be affected by the POW Block. Good thing Mario Kart Wii has a lot of airtime (the only true way to avoid your inevitable doom aside from using invincibility items or staying behind the user), because if it didn't have this much airtime, this item would be the worst Mario Kart item ever.
Thunder Cloud
Speaking of the worst Mario Kart item ever, that's exactly what the Thunder Cloud is. This is also one of Nintendo's worst ideas ever. You get a speed boost, but if you don't pass the cloud off to someone else, it's the only item that's designed to harm you. To make matters worse, you can get this in middle positions in a 12 player race (3rd to 7th), so the Thunder Cloud will just add to the pain. If you have the Cloud and no one else is around, you either have to launch yourself out of a cannon or use a Star to get rid of it.
Conclusion
The Mega Mushroom, POW Block, and Thunder Cloud are the worst items Nintendo has ever added to the series, and I'm glad they haven't returned in any future installments. I hope it stays that way, and this is may or may not be a hot take, but I personally believe Mario Kart Wii would be better without them.
Bonus Rant: Blooper
If you've seen me on the Internet, you all know why I'm adding this rant. THE BLOOPER IS ONE OF THE WORST ITEMS NINTENDO HAS EVER ADDED TO THE SERIES. What a terrible item. I will talk about why I hate this item so much.
To start, in some games, it does hardly does anything at all. Like, in Wii, it may just be the most worthless thing ever, but even in games where it covers up more of the screen, there is so much going against this item. A lot of the tracks have boost panels on ramps or just lying around, and by just hitting one of them, that ink is just gone. Tracks with boosters everywhere like Rainbow Road? Forget it. Even on water tracks like Cheep Cheep Beach, there's no way that ink is staying on your screen for more than a second.
The bigger problem to me is that there is a disproportionate gap between how good it is against experienced players vs how good it is against new players. If you're a new player and you don't know where the hell you're going to begin with, you're done for when that ink hits your screen because you can't even stay on the road in the first place. But then if you're an experienced player who already knows the map (you know, the player your opponent needs to hinder the most with their items), that ink isn't going to do anything because you have the map layouts engraved into the back of your head.
It's clearly anti-Mario Kart in design. You look at items like the Lightning or Bullet Bill, items that are very clearly designed to give even the worst players a fighting chance, but the Blooper spits on that design philosophy. It doesn't even feel satisfying to use. You use an item and you feel the satisfaction of hitting another player. But if you're using a Blooper, you feel nothing.
The Blooper is useless, it's annoying, and it's only gettable in one of those middle to back of the pack positions, where you should be getting something powerful and dynamic, not something that's a minor inconvenience at best to skilled players and a game ender to new players. Screw this item, and I wish it was removed (even though I know it won't be removed because it has been in every Mario Kart game since DS) or that Nintendo never added this item to begin with. Let's be real, who even LIKES this item anyway?
For context as to how much I hate these items, I would give each one its own tier. Of my thirteen tiers (Z, Y, X, S, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, and I), I would place the Mega Mushroom in G tier, the POW Block in H tier, and the Thunder Cloud in I tier. Oh, and I would give the Blooper either E tier or F tier.
Mega Mushroom
Of the items exclusive to Wii, the Mega Mushroom is the one I hate the least, but I still hate it more than the Blooper and Coin. For starters, it's literally just a worse version of the Star. You don't gain as much speed as when using a Star, and you're still vulnerable to racers with Bullet Bills and Stars. Such a disgrace to the Star. Not to mention you return to normal when struck by Lightning, ending the effect early. Second, unless you're near a group of racers, using it is pretty much useless. Third, if you just so happen to be on the receiving end of it, you will effectively lose the race because getting flattened by a Mega Mushroom driver slows you down to the point of ending up in last place.
POW Block
The POW Block is my arch nemesis, is an absolute menace to society, and is almost the worst item in the series. This less effective Lightning appears above all racers ahead of the user and causes an earthquake. The main reason why this Lightning ripoff is a menace to society is because it appears far too frequently in races. There can be up to five of this menace per race, or even more. Once the POW Block appears above your kart to warn you of your impending doom, that means your doom is inevitable (although you can press up on the D-Pad or shake your Wii Remote to reduce the effect to delay the inevitable), you won't be able to recover, and your race will be over. This may force you to fall off the track, which will definitely cost you the race anyway, but at least you won't be affected by the POW Block. Good thing Mario Kart Wii has a lot of airtime (the only true way to avoid your inevitable doom aside from using invincibility items or staying behind the user), because if it didn't have this much airtime, this item would be the worst Mario Kart item ever.
Thunder Cloud
Speaking of the worst Mario Kart item ever, that's exactly what the Thunder Cloud is. This is also one of Nintendo's worst ideas ever. You get a speed boost, but if you don't pass the cloud off to someone else, it's the only item that's designed to harm you. To make matters worse, you can get this in middle positions in a 12 player race (3rd to 7th), so the Thunder Cloud will just add to the pain. If you have the Cloud and no one else is around, you either have to launch yourself out of a cannon or use a Star to get rid of it.
Conclusion
The Mega Mushroom, POW Block, and Thunder Cloud are the worst items Nintendo has ever added to the series, and I'm glad they haven't returned in any future installments. I hope it stays that way, and this is may or may not be a hot take, but I personally believe Mario Kart Wii would be better without them.
Bonus Rant: Blooper
If you've seen me on the Internet, you all know why I'm adding this rant. THE BLOOPER IS ONE OF THE WORST ITEMS NINTENDO HAS EVER ADDED TO THE SERIES. What a terrible item. I will talk about why I hate this item so much.
To start, in some games, it does hardly does anything at all. Like, in Wii, it may just be the most worthless thing ever, but even in games where it covers up more of the screen, there is so much going against this item. A lot of the tracks have boost panels on ramps or just lying around, and by just hitting one of them, that ink is just gone. Tracks with boosters everywhere like Rainbow Road? Forget it. Even on water tracks like Cheep Cheep Beach, there's no way that ink is staying on your screen for more than a second.
The bigger problem to me is that there is a disproportionate gap between how good it is against experienced players vs how good it is against new players. If you're a new player and you don't know where the hell you're going to begin with, you're done for when that ink hits your screen because you can't even stay on the road in the first place. But then if you're an experienced player who already knows the map (you know, the player your opponent needs to hinder the most with their items), that ink isn't going to do anything because you have the map layouts engraved into the back of your head.
It's clearly anti-Mario Kart in design. You look at items like the Lightning or Bullet Bill, items that are very clearly designed to give even the worst players a fighting chance, but the Blooper spits on that design philosophy. It doesn't even feel satisfying to use. You use an item and you feel the satisfaction of hitting another player. But if you're using a Blooper, you feel nothing.
The Blooper is useless, it's annoying, and it's only gettable in one of those middle to back of the pack positions, where you should be getting something powerful and dynamic, not something that's a minor inconvenience at best to skilled players and a game ender to new players. Screw this item, and I wish it was removed (even though I know it won't be removed because it has been in every Mario Kart game since DS) or that Nintendo never added this item to begin with. Let's be real, who even LIKES this item anyway?
For context as to how much I hate these items, I would give each one its own tier. Of my thirteen tiers (Z, Y, X, S, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, and I), I would place the Mega Mushroom in G tier, the POW Block in H tier, and the Thunder Cloud in I tier. Oh, and I would give the Blooper either E tier or F tier.
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