Awesome force: The novelization

[SiFi]

The comic was too much work so I decided to convert it into a fanfic. Feel free to MST.

Awesome Force
Chapter 1

The Roads roared with excitement. Typical for rush hour. Most notable among this crowd were a reptile with gray shoes and an ignorant man with a large nose. After a silence, the man, known as Jorge, spoke. “So why are we driving around with nothing to do again?” The reptile, S-Y let out a sigh, and repeated what he had stated five minutes ago. “Porple stopped giving us those “second second second chances” and finally fired us. What a pile of D-Key.” Upon recovering from the brief shock of such vulgarity, Jorge stated: “I see. At least we got to keep the car...”. S-Y let out a much calmer sigh, as his message had finally gotten through. “Yeah. But it doesn't matter, they'll be begging for us back soon anyway. I mean, who could replace us?”

There was a long line outside the office. Amongst them were an obese man in a bizarre combination of cyan overalls and a pink hat and undershirt, with a jagged mustache and an unusually pink nose and a seemingly Asian man in red robes. “So, what makes you think you're qualified for the job?” the man in pink finally spoke. “WHAT? FUNNY WHITE MAN NOT KNOW ME? ME REGENDARY JAPANESE SECRET AGENT, YOSHITA MOTO. ME SKIRRED IN ARR MARTIAR ARTS.” “Yeah, well I'm Italian Mario expert and bounty hunter, MICHEAL RUDNICKI! There's nobody the Wiki needs more than me!” He exclaimed, looking proud. “WERR, IF YOU THINK YOU SO GREAT, WHY DON'T YOU BE MY SIDEKICK?” “Fine.” Rudnicki answered, shortly before realizing the line in front of them was gone, and the people behind them were all angered or confused. “We'd better get going.”

By the time they entered the room, they had already prepared a speech. However, the man at the desk unexpectedly greeted them. “Sure, you'll do just fine.” the man in a sports jacket said. “Really? We don't need to fill any forms or anything?” Rudnicki asked, looking bewildered. “Nah, I heard your argument outside. You both seem great.”. However, Moto wasn't paying attention. He had noticed a blue turtle lying out cold. He suddenly snapped back to what the man was saying, however. “I'm SiFi, and I'm going to be your boss.” He had rough hair, a blue shirt, and a matching black jacket and pants with red stripes. It was the start of a great career.

 

[Guiliant]

imo sein nicht very good

aka sucks

 

[SiFi]

You know something? YOU SUCK!

 

[Glowsquid]

Play nice.

 

[SiFi]

Play nice.

Hey Blitz, tell them about how this story's so great you can't mst it.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Play nice.

Hey Blitz, tell them about how this story's so great you can't mst it.

I can MST it. So far I can only do it in my head since this stupid thing can't handle too many letters. I need a real computer. :P

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Sorry for double posting. I realised I could MST this in small sections. I cut out the title for more room. This is my first MST though...

The Roads roared with excitement.

The Roads must be a very excitable person.

Typical for rush hour. Most notable among this crowd were a reptile with gray shoes and an ignorant man with a large nose.

Is this some kinda racist joke?!

After a silence, the man, known as Jorge, spoke. "So why are we driving around with nothing to do again?"

Because driving is fun! :D

The reptile, S-Y let out a sigh, and repeated what he had stated five minutes ago.

Well that's redundant!

Porple stopped giving us those "second second second chances" and finally fired us.

2 x 3 = 6. Do the math.

What a pile of D-Key."

QUICK! COVER THE CHILDRENS EARS!

Upon recovering from the brief shock of such vulgarity, Jorge stated: "I see. At least we got to keep the car...".

That's car that's you ran someone over with. They had to let you keep it for liabilty reasons.

S-Y let out a much calmer sigh, as his message had finally gotten through. "Yeah. But it doesn't matter, they'll be begging for us back soon anyway. I mean, who could replace us?"

The people who the story is about, you moron.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Sorry again for triple posting, I'll wait a couple hours before posting the final section.

There was a long line outside the office. Amongst them were an obese man in a bizarre combination of cyan overalls and a pink hat and undershirt, with a jagged mustache and an unusually pink nose and a seemingly Asian man in red robes.

So a fat guy and an Asian man transformed into a line? What kinda story is this?!

"So, what makes you think you're qualified for the job?"

"We're a racist troll and sockpuppet that transformed together. We flame everyone and make up phycotic theories. Please hire us!" said the line.

the man in pink finally spoke. "WHAT? FUNNY WHITE MAN NOT KNOW ME? ME REGENDARY JAPANESE SECRET AGENT, *bleep*A MOTO.

Watch your mouth, bub.

ME SKIRRED IN ARR MARTIAR ARTS."

But does being "skirred" count as being "quarified"?

"Yeah, well I'm Italian Mario expert and bounty hunter, MICHEAL RUDNICKI!

I don't think getting pwned on a daily baises counts as being a bounty hunter.

There's nobody the Wiki needs more than me!" He exclaimed, looking proud.

"If we needed an old racist guy who hates Jews and makes up crazy stories, we'd hire Hitler, but he already works in accounting." said the man from nowhere that they were talking to.

"WERR, IF YOU THINK YOU SO GREAT, WHY DON'T YOU BE MY SIDEKICK?" "Fine." Rudnicki answered,

That was oddly out of charcter.

shortly before realizing the line in front of them was gone, and the people behind them were all angered or confused.

He needs a bigger attention span.

"We'd better get going."

"To the Batmobile!" ♪Da-na-na-na-na-na♪

 

[Glowsquid]

Hey Blitz, tell them about how this story's so great you can't mst it.

Not "can't", more like don't care.

 

[SiFi]

That MST seemed very forced.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

That MST seemed very forced.

It's my first, and it wasn't forced, you're just trying to make the story sound better than it was.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

3rd part of my MST. SiFi is probily going to say it sucked. It's my first, so it might or it might not.

By the time they entered the room, they had already prepared a speech.

They walk slow.

However, the man at the desk unexpectedly greeted them. "Sure, you'll do just fine." the man in a sports jacket said.

Goes to show that companies will hire anyone, no matter how big a public enemy they are.

"Really? We don't need to fill any forms or anything?" Rudnicki asked, looking bewildered. "Nah, I heard your argument outside. You both seem great.".

This guy must have his hearing aids turned off.

However, Moto wasn't paying attention.

Moto needs a bigger attention span.

He had noticed a blue turtle lying out cold.

How is looking at a dead guy part of the plotline?

He suddenly snapped back to what the man was saying, however. "I'm SiFi, and I'm going to be your boss."

Never saw that coming.

He had rough hair, a blue shirt, and a matching black jacket and pants with red stripes. It was the start of a great career.

So now the matching pants and jacket are starting a career together? This is a very touching story.


MST's are fun to do. I can't wait for when Awesome Force Chapter 2 comes out.

 

[SiFi]

The Roads must be a very excitable person.

Jeff must be very unfamiliar with metaphors.

Is this some kinda racist joke?!

Name a race which is known for having a large nose.

Because driving is fun! :D

That it is. Your point being?

Well that's redundant!

You've obviously never met Jorge

2 x 3 = 6. Do the math.

I have done the math many times before. Turns out the zebra did it.

QUICK! COVER THE CHILDRENS EARS!

That's the point of the joke.

That's car that's you ran someone over with. They had to let you keep it for liabilty reasons.

Pics or it didn't happen

The people who the story is about, you moron.

Said Jeff, completely unaware that the fourth wall was still intact.

So a fat guy and an Asian man transformed into a line? What kinda story is this?!

A story meant for people who can read.

"We're a racist troll and sockpuppet that transformed together. We flame everyone and make up phycotic theories. Please hire us!" said the line.

That's the joke.

Watch your mouth, bub.

Turn off auto censor, bub.

But does being "skirred" count as being "quarified"?

You weren't active while Moto was around, were you?

I don't think getting pwned on a daily baises counts as being a bounty hunter.

And that's why you're not a bounty hunter.

"If we needed an old racist guy who hates Jews and makes up crazy stories, we'd hire Hitler, but he already works in accounting." said the man from nowhere that they were talking to.

GRAGRAGRAGRAGRA
THE POINT OF THE STORY IS THAT RUDNICKI AND MOTO WOULD NOT MAKE A GOOD POLICE DUO. IT'S A JOKE.
Ever seen Rush Hour? Where two police officers with practically nothing in common team up and solve their cases on sheer luck?

That was oddly out of charcter.

He's unpredictable like that.

He needs a bigger attention span.

Dare I, or dare I not make a dirty joke?

"To the Batmobile!" ♪Da-na-na-na-na-na♪

Hey, don't diss Batman.

They walk slow.

That's the point of walking. If you wanted to move quickly, you'd run.

Goes to show that companies will hire anyone, no matter how big a public enemy they are.

And that's how Nerdy Guy joined.

This guy must have his hearing aids turned off.

Speaking of which, did you happen to misplace your reading glasses?

However, Moto wasn't paying attention.

DAMMIT TEMPTATION

How is looking at a dead guy part of the plotline?

YOU'LL SEE DAMMIT

Never saw that coming.

Never saw that coming.

So now the matching pants and jacket are starting a career together? This is a very touching story.

Hey, I had to end the chapter somehow.

I MST'd an MST! Give me seven cookies!

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Now you're just being an ass. -_- I made the joke about the roads because you capitlized it so it looked like a person. Jewish people are often sterotyped as being greedy, ignorant, and having big noses. And you were treating me like an idiot in the rest of your points even though I was just fooling around and pointing out the obvious. You took it too seriously. You said you were open to MST's, but you didn't have to bash them. Some of your points were made blind to what my jokes meant, no offense. You made me feel kind of enraged that a guy who thinks too highly of himself was bashing my MST because he misunderstood most of it, but I calmed down and learned to not be angry at you.

 

[SiFi]

Now you're just being an ass. -_- I made the joke about the roads because you capitlized it so it looked like a person. Jewish people are often sterotyped as being greedy, ignorant, and having big noses. And you were treating me like an idiot in the rest of your points even though I was just fooling around and pointing out the obvious. You took it too seriously. You said you were open to MST's, but you didn't have to bash them. Some of your points were made blind to what my jokes meant, no offense. You made me feel kind of enraged that a guy who thinks too highly of himself was bashing my MST because he misunderstood most of it, but I calmed down and learned to not be angry at you.

I lol'd at everything in bold.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Now you're just being an ass. -_- I made the joke about the roads because you capitlized it so it looked like a person. Jewish people are often sterotyped as being greedy, ignorant, and having big noses. And you were treating me like an idiot in the rest of your points even though I was just fooling around and pointing out the obvious. You took it too seriously. You said you were open to MST's, but you didn't have to bash them. Some of your points were made blind to what my jokes meant, no offense. You made me feel kind of enraged that a guy who thinks too highly of himself was bashing my MST because he misunderstood most of it, but I calmed down and learned to not be angry at you.

I lol'd at everything in bold.

Me too.

 

[SiFi]

Then I guess we're even. *extends hand to shake*

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Then I guess we're even. *extends hand to shake*

*deactivates SiFi's joybuzzer and poison dart*

Even.

*shakes hand*

 

[SiFi]

Then I guess we're even. *extends hand to shake*

*deactivates SiFi's joybuzzer and poison dart*

Even.

*shakes hand*

Yeah, well I put a bomb in your toothpaste this morning.

 

[Nerdy Guy]

Then I guess we're even. *extends hand to shake*

*deactivates SiFi's joybuzzer and poison dart*

Even.

*shakes hand*

Yeah, well I put a bomb in your toothpaste this morning.

Minty.

 

[SiFi]

GUESS WHAT.

YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY.
This chapter's based on KP's guest comic.

KP let out a sigh. It had been over a month since SiFi gained control of the police department and he still hadn't reported the incident to Porplemontage. Once he'd finally gotten out of bed to submit a new chapter break the news, Porple seemed to be in deep thought. “Something wrong?” KP interrupted, causing Porple to suddenly turn around.
“Now that you mention it, the police force has begun to look suspiciously like Rudnicki and Moto all of a sudden...”
“That's easy. SiFi broke into your decoy's office and seized control. Now Jorge and S-Y are fired.” KP explained cheerfully.
“WHAAA$^H()WARHAENIOBINAE$^!”
“Indeed. And now he's here to f*** us!”
“Well, there's only one thing to do. I'll need a pair of wings, a chain, a black hole, a dinosaur with a bandanna and 300 pounds of cheesecake.”
“This isn't Scribblenauts.” KP sighed.
“Well in that case, I'll just send Toto. But I still want that cheesecake.”
“What about me? I've got a frickin' gun!” KP exclaimed proudly while dodging a bullet.
“Fine, you seem trustworthy enough, you can back her up.”
KP laughed sinisterly. “Oh, I'll “back her up” alright. And when I say “back her up”, I mean...”
“STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU!” Porple inturrupted.

 

[SiFi]

SHUT UP, LET'S SEE YOU DO BETTER

Anyway;

I am the sky beneath your feet.
I am the cactus between your teeth.
I am that six year old jello you found in your fridge that one time.

I am standing in an empty void. In the middle of the void is a wooden crate. A man is sitting on the crate. He greets me, and I greet him back. I suddenly realize that the crate is where I belong, where I am destined to be. Yet I cannot enter until the man has stood up.

I have no mouth. And I'm hungry, dammit.
“RUDNICKI, WAKE THE F*** UP DAMMIT I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU! Just kidding.”
Interrupting my daily mind screw and sudden first-person narration is SiFi, who looks strangely determined.
“I finally got work for you, SO LISTEN UP OR I'M GONNA F***ING KILL YOU AGAIN. Just kidding.”
“We ristening.”
Next to me is my colleague, Yoshita Moto. An alias of mine who suddenly became a distinct being. Must have been part of one of my aformentioned mind screws. I can do stuff like that.
“RUDNICKI, PAY ATTENTION DAMMIT! As I was totally saying, Porplemontage has turned crazy and screwed us over. He's now hunting us down, accompanied by former submariner KP Blue and total newscaster Toto.”
While I'm sure neither of them were ever those things, SiFi decided to hand us weapons. I got a bazooka. I like explosives, by the way. They're quick, effective, and aren't pink. Looks like we're getting down to business.
“BUT I WANTED THE PINK OOOOOOONE!” I screamed as SiFi drags us both out of the door.

As we searched, SiFi killed several innocent people before deciding they weren't Porplemontage. Even though I'm sure we did kill him a few times. Amongst these people was a large yellow turtleman who was wearing very large glasses. Possibly too big to fit on his face. It was no wonder he couldn't see anything. But then SiFi noticed something. Atop a mountain of Porplemontage corpses was, you guessed it, PORPLEMONTAGE.

SiFi then realized something.

“Did I leave the iron on?”