1,000,000 funny quotes

3. "Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"
 
5:Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
6:Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
7:There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
8:Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
 
11) "Oh, I was just thinking, before you came into my life, I never had the need for an emergency transvestite."
 
11. "Oh, so it does... oh you stole my lungs."
12. "I believe that everyone has one wish. I wish for another cheeseburger."
13. "I can't wait to forget something... ... ... ...What was I just talking about?"
14. Person 1: "I can't wait to eat this burger!
Person 2: "Yes you can."
Person 1: "Yeah, I guess you're right."
15. Person 1: "Did you eat my sandwich?"
Person 2: "I am your sandwich."
 
16. "I'm gonna have a hand sandwhich!" *bites hand which is between two slices of bread* "It tastes hurty..." - Ralph Wiggum
 
17. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time."
 
18) "Now, explain to me Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds. 'The girl with colitis goes by?' I always thought that was very distasteful."

19) "The years are passing me by! 27, 28, 29, 29, 29..."

20) "Let's put it this way. When you're 20, I'll be 40. When you're 30, I'll be 40. And when you're 40, you'll understand why I'm still 40."

21) "Relationships are like thighs. They start out smooth, then they get a little lumpy, but without them, you don't have a leg to stand on."

22) "Yes, Ma. If you want my honest opinion, I do think serving miniature franks at a bris is tasteless."
 
25. "No aliens were harmed in the making of this themepark. They were harmed AFTER it was created."
 
Solar Blaze said:
23. "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND!!!"
Click to expand...

No. This one doesn't even count.



23. My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
 
President Iwata said:
No. This one doesn't even count.
Click to expand...
Wow. Since when did you become the ultimate authority on what counts or doesn't count in this topic?

28. (Yes, twenty-eight, since that's technically the correct number.)

"I lied when I said you could go. At least, partially lied, for I WILL let you go... TO ANOTHER DIEMENSION!!!"
 
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