The Real Life Wiki - 28,000 VIEWS!

Happy

  • Hall

    Votes: 4 36.4%

  • Ow

    Votes: 5 45.5%

  • Een!

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Total voters
    11
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Did Nobody read C8?
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

I am afraid that I must take back some of the praise that I first gave you.

Yes, this story is written decently, but there are two huge problems- your self indulgence, and the...well, questionable plot.

First off, I didn't pay much attention when I first read the beginning. Why? Because I was sleepy, and for the most part, it was all shit I've seen before. Seriously, man? Having Porple promote your avatar to 'Crat and then Steward in his place at the beginning of your story? First off, have you ever even interacted with Porplemontage? Secondly, do you know how that makes you look? If Porple left and gave anybody command, it'd be one of the veterans like Stooben or one of the harder workers like SMB. They are the ones who have earned that, not you.

Now, the plot is interesting.

If I was in fifth grade.

I don't see any complex character motivations, I've read many a "Mario World crosses over with Reality" fic. This one just happens to be that but with USERS. The plot it isn't good, the characters are...lacking, and frankly, it isn't all that interesting.

Don't get the wrong idea when I say this. I'm not out to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. The writing is good, and while it does feel a bit stilted, I can tell that you certainly have potential.

Unfortunately, this story is beyond redemption due to how you started it. An intro can make or break anything, and this time it is certainly the latter.

However, I will still read it and provide you with the best encouragement that I can supply, because seeing new writers with potential always gets me a little excited.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Don't Fear said:
I am afraid that I must take back some of the praise that I first gave you.

Yes, this story is written decently, but there are two huge problems- your self indulgence, and the...well, questionable plot.

First off, I didn't pay much attention when I first read the beginning. Why? Because I was sleepy, and for the most part, it was all shit I've seen before. Seriously, man? Having Porple promote your avatar to 'Crat and then Steward in his place at the beginning of your story? First off, have you ever even interacted with Porplemontage? Secondly, do you know how that makes you look? If Porple left and gave anybody command, it'd be one of the veterans like Stooben or one of the harder workers like SMB. They are the ones who have earned that, not you.

Now, the plot is interesting.

If I was in fifth grade.

I don't see any complex character motivations, I've read many a "Mario World crosses over with Reality" fic. This one just happens to be that but with USERS. The plot it isn't good, the characters are...lacking, and frankly, it isn't all that interesting.

Don't get the wrong idea when I say this. I'm not out to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. The writing is good, and while it does feel a bit stilted, I can tell that you certainly have potential.

Unfortunately, this story is beyond redemption due to how you started it. An intro can make or break anything, and this time it is certainly the latter.

However, I will still read it and provide you with the best encouragement that I can supply, because seeing new writers with potential always gets me a little excited.
Click to expand...
I can agree with all of those statements.

And like I said before, nothing hurts my feelings really.

I'm going to spend a lot of time on thinking of C9, trying to fix everything about that.

But it makes me feel better that you say I have potential. After all, this is my first story, so after this, if I write another story, I will gain more experience at what readers want to read.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

I think the only thing you can really do at this point with this story is to keep writing and try to better hone your writing skills and style before you start on your next.

A half realized style
http://userpedia.adriels.com/Aviate
Can't really do much,

But a closer realization
http://userpedia.adriels.com/The_Resolutions_of_132
Can demonstrate what you're truly capable of.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Don't Fear said:
I think the only thing you can really do at this point with this story is to keep writing and try to better hone your writing skills and style before you start on your next.

A half realized style
http://userpedia.adriels.com/Aviate
Can't really do much,

But a closer realization
http://userpedia.adriels.com/The_Resolutions_of_132
Can demonstrate what you're truly capable of.
Click to expand...
You think I'm capable of writing like you?
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Not necessarily like me.

What I'm saying is, you haven't yet realized your individuality in your writing. Everybody has a different style, but you just haven't found out what yours is yet. Aviate was when I was on my way to knowing what I was doing, and Resolutions is me figuring it out. However, you will never achieve perfection in writing. I haven't, nobody has.

You can always evolve and better yourself.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Don't Fear said:
Not necessarily like me.

What I'm saying is, you haven't yet realized your individuality in your writing. Everybody has a different style, but you just haven't found out what yours is yet. Aviate was when I was on my way to knowing what I was doing, and Resolutions is me figuring it out. However, you will never achieve perfection in writing. I haven't, nobody has.

You can always evolve and better yourself.
Click to expand...
I agree.

Like I said before, I'll figure it out after I gain more experience.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

grimAuxiliatrix said:
CHAPTER 8 HAS BEEN RELEASED!

Criticize, critique, rate, and comment!
Click to expand...
Um okay,

I randomly get yelled at for doing nothing(You said that GS15 did it) and don't even protest that it wasn't me and you just happen to stumble upon(literally) the stone that you just happen to know is THE one.

Then we have a completely random "hahahaha"
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Yoshiwalker said:
grimAuxiliatrix said:
CHAPTER 8 HAS BEEN RELEASED!

Criticize, critique, rate, and comment!
Click to expand...
Um okay,

I randomly get yelled at for doing nothing(You said that GS15 did it) and don't even protest that it wasn't me and you just happen to stumble upon(literally) the stone that you just happen to know is THE one.

Then we have a completely random "hahahaha"
Click to expand...
The "hahah" was an evil laugh, or that's what I was trying to get at.

I'm a genius
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

grimAuxiliatrix said:
Yoshiwalker said:
grimAuxiliatrix said:
CHAPTER 8 HAS BEEN RELEASED!

Criticize, critique, rate, and comment!
Click to expand...
Um okay,

I randomly get yelled at for doing nothing(You said that GS15 did it) and don't even protest that it wasn't me and you just happen to stumble upon(literally) the stone that you just happen to know is THE one.

Then we have a completely random "hahahaha"
Click to expand...
The "hahah" was an evil laugh, or that's what I was trying to get at.
Click to expand...
Well, I knew that.

Still no response to other apparent plot holes weird things.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back