Crash reborn

your welcome
 
Ok, review of Chapter 1:

Ok, this may sound harsh, but this wasn't very good. Horrible grammar, it sounded like a second grader writing. Also, the opening could've been a little better. Also, the story could use some more description, and you made it even worse by putting:

"To be continued........"

That's not a proper ending.

Yoshidude, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but It wasn't really good. I know your capable of more.
 
SuperMario25 said:
Well you will always have on good review and maybe sometimes a bad review
Click to expand...
That's true.

In my story, I have some people that really like it, some people think it's bad.

Don't feel bad Yoshidude. You will get good or bad reviews during this story.
 
I was trying to use that big text Supremo uses at the start but I can't do it. Also to be continued is a place holder for now. I will edit it later.
 
Here is more of my advice: Look back at experienced fictions (Ex: Venture of the Wiki or Tabuu's Fictions) and see how they write. Make your scenes BIG and make the plot AWESOME
 
I thought it should have been 1,000,000 times longer.
 
There's an easy way to solve this. Take the advice, get better grammar, write more, and then you'll have a good story. Chapter 1 would have been better as a prologue.
 
Note: I'm not that big on Crash games. I'm just signing up for editor because I'm very critical and can give good advice and solve most spelling and grammar issues.
 
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