CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ "Piglet, nae!" (A3S3)

Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ End of Act II (A2S4 released!)

2.2. - "With the ruckus they’re making, they’re We have to time to free me." - typo
"back to the room" - no period
- I approve of the reason for why the Lady didn't kill the king: much better than whatever the hell happened in the play.

2.3
- fun accent; overall a great chapter
a fan comic that’s run oan too lang! Come in, Mario an’ Starlow, there’s nae townsfolk ye need tae oppress in ‘ere.
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I knew we should have ended it in July T.T

2.4
- the vague similarities between MCD and Javelin cited by Edo was funny
- I like how the witches are more involved than in the original play (iirc)
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ End of Act II (A2S4 released!)

Walkazo said:
- I like how the witches are more involved than in the original play (iirc)
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Although, part of their arc is a problem on my end.

Because I only came up with the "they're toying with the princes for revenge" arc a few weeks ago while writing a2s2, I feel like I have to retool a lot of act 1 to make their motivation make sense. Anton and Edo are upset with them because of perceived freedom-of-religion violations, but I neglected to mention what those injustices were early on. As it stands, it just looks like they're ranting for the sake of ranting.

Also, thanks for pointing out the typos. It's really a big help. I'll get on it as soon as I can.
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

Glad to see Tabuu's replacing the generic murderer(s?). I don't recall Banquo storming off in a huff before Macbeth was like "welp, now I gotta kill him too", but it's also a change I'm okay with, and the "Well, that escalated quickly." line was pretty funny (and can sum up a lot of actual Shakespeare scenes too - hell, even entire plays, lol).
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

okay so i just caught up with this

there are too many funny lines for me to quote them all, so i'm just going to go with "lol"

in particular the "tabuunator" and "please state the nature of the medical emergency" lines made me chuckle
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

"please state the nature of the medical emergency" oh man, I must've missed that one somehow (dunno how - I love the Doctor)
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

TABUU:
My fanfiction! I need to reboot P-132 at least thirty more times before I get it just right.

qft
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

ok, sorry, another delay. i now have a back injury i need to attend to.
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)

Man that sucks. Hope you recover well.
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ Ripping Off Shakespeare since 2014! (A3S1 out)


I apologize if this is rude. I just wanted to make the reference.
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ "Bloodshed makes an excellent snowball." (A3S2)

don't worry, bro, the Tabuu-bot has a 132% rate of success
 
Re: CLUE: The Scottish Mario Play ~ "Bloodshed makes an excellent snowball." (A3S2)

Good chapter. I especially liked the part about roulette and probabilities. One mistake I noticed: "you don’t know to play." --> "you don’t know HOW to play." But that is all.
 
"hiding a pig stall" --> "hiding IN a pig stall" Also, Tabuu's "and better yet, now I know the kid’s here too." line implied that he got that info from Banquoshi just then (otherwise, why specify "now"), which I don't think happened. Besides those nit-picks, good chapter.
 
Walkazo said:
"hiding a pig stall" --> "hiding IN a pig stall" Also, Tabuu's "and better yet, now I know the kid’s here too." line implied that he got that info from Banquoshi just then (otherwise, why specify "now"), which I don't think happened. Besides those nit-picks, good chapter.
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Thanks, again.

Your reviews are very helpful. I'm a poor self-editor, so I'm really grateful for your assistance.
 
walkazo is best reviewer

i say this all the time but i am actually dead serious, she has a keen eye for things no one else around here does
 
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