Tuxedo Ridley LeafGreen: YOU DECIDE!!!

Hey, look, a poll, I guess. Not like anyone cares.

  • OBJECTION! I care!

    Votes: 1 100.0%

  • Nah, you're right, no one cares. Give up already.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    1
Uhh...Finally...Civiliza-
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...Wait, I'm still in the middle of nowhere. Gosh darned forest can't even drop me into a city when I get out.
Well...at least I don't have to deal with the Weedleman's kinsmen coming to get me.
...That silence is meant to re-assure me that that isn't happening, right? He isn't here.

...HE'S NOT HERE RIGHT?!

Ugh. Look at me. I was in that horrific forest so long that I developed a fear of Weedle. Weedle.

A pidgey decides that it wants to be made into delicious toast today. Who am I to keep it from what it wants?
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More importantly...
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This will carry me through the next gym. At least until the last Pokemon.
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OK, now I'm finally in civilization. Ugh. I need a Pokemon center.
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Yeah, I was wondering if you offer Post-Weedle Stress Disorder treatment? Oh, and this itchy green *bleep* between my toes is-
"No sir, we only treat Pokemon here. This is a POKEMON Center, after all."
But...it's the closest thing to a health care center in this city...
"Sorry sir."
Alright, seriously. Where the *bleep* am I supposed to see a doctor in Kanto?! All we got is Pokemon centers. You need a human doctor? Nope, not a single clinic in the whole region. What happens if there's a traffic accident? Do we just leave people there to die because there aren't any hospitals around? WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO BUILD A POKEMON CENTER IN EVERY CITY AND NOT ONE CLINIC FOR HUMANS?!

Whelp, since I'm traumatized for the rest of my life(which will probably be about 5 minutes before I succumb to untreated Caterpie Fever) I guess I may as well grind up Lanayru now.

...I hate you DF

WARNING: LOTS AND LOTS OF LEVEL UP PICTURES INBOUND
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(at this point, Lanayru replaces Growl with Quick Attack)
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Ugh, I really need a break from this. Next time, there might be a climactic battle of doom. Or maybe it will just be grinding.


...but if it's grinding, you all know to blame DF.
 
MORE LEVEL UPS COMIN' IN FOLKS
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And, of course...
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Mkay. I think...It's time.
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I'M COMIN' FER YA BRO-wait, there's some guy in a suit here.
"Hey! I can take ya to the top! I'll give ya free candy! It'll get you waaay high up!"
Wait a-YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE ME DRUGS LIKE THOSE AGGRESSIVE DEALERS IN THE 90'S PSAs AREN'T YOU?! Well, sorry, but my mother told me to NEVER do drugs.

...but then again she also kicked me out of the house.
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Sure, why not. LET'S GET HIGH, MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!
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Mkay then!
*some time later*
"Oh, by the way, this is a rock gym. Now I'm gettin' outta here, cya!"
Eh? Oh, yeah, rock gym, ooooh that'll be easy, I bet my Pikachu right here's gonna zap 'em all up, cause electric beats rock, y'know? It's not like I'm amusingly getting my type matchups wrong due to possibly being high...Anyways, let's move on.
I'M COMIN' FER YA BRO-
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Oh, now who's THIS brat?!
"You're ten thousand light-years from facing Brock!"
...No, I'm pretty sure I'm two squares awa-
"It wasn't supposed to be taken literally!"
Oh, how am I supposed to know?! Didn't you see the above conversation?! I'm not exactly on top of my game right now!
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Oh, great. They're giving the boy scouts jobs as official gym trainers. Glad to see that the security agents of the closest thing we've got to a government have such high recruitment standards.
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IT'S METAL CLAW TIME!
Oh, and Geodude defense curls, but that's not important.
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That goes on for 2 or 3 turns, and Geodude goes down without putting a single hit in. Talk about contributing to the team, eh?
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He sends out a Sandshrew. The same thing happens.
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Alright, now, I'M COMIN' FER-wait, no more interruptions this time, right? No random guy offering me ambiguously legal goods? No boy scouts? Alright then. I'M COMIN' FER YA BROCK!
"So, you're here. I'm BROCK!"
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BROCK! Alright, I'm a big fan of yours and all, but, uh...YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DIE NOW.
"Heh. I have rock hard willpower. It is evident even in my Pokemon. They're all rock hard and determined and-"
Blah blah blah, they're rock, etc, etc, let's get going. BROCK, YOU-
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...have an inexplicably lighter shade of skin OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL BROCK?!
"...I can't tell you that."
You...YOU MADMAN! I'LL KILL YOU!
EvilImposter!Brock sends out a Geodude. It is clawed to death, just like that other one.
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Ha! You don't have anything on me, Fake Brock! My metal claw shall spell your doom!
"Psst...Ridley..."
Eh? Wha-why am I hearing DF's voice now?
"You gotta use Lanayru, remember?"
Oh, yeah, that's right. Whatever, electric totally beats roc-
...wait a minute...
OH *bleep* NO IT DOESN'T
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SLAM, LANAYRU! SLAM LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SLAMMED BEFORE!
"Ha! I'll just use Rock Tomb-"*miss*
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YOU'LL NEVER WIN, EVIL FAKE BROCK!
*two turns later*
Give up while you can, Fake Brock.
"DIDN'T YOU JUST HERE MY SPEECH ABOUT WILLPOWER AND DETERMINATION AND ALL THAT?!"
Uh, I kinda mashed the A button...
"Now, I will use BIND-wait, it only did 2 damage. AND ONIX GOT PARALYZED?!"
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Looks like the tables were turning.
...Well, they were never really in your favor to begin with, but...OH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
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Time to end this, EVIL FAKE BROCK!
"Ah...But your speed has dropped too much! Surely, you cannot hit first!"
...That's what you think. QUICK ATTACK!
"Wha-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(intense dramatic pause)
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It's over, Evil Brock.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ridley got the Boulder Badge!
...and TM39
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE BADGE!
And so, with the evil Fake Brock slain, Ridley continued on his travels, on to the next city...
...or to the nearest Pokemon center, 'cause that battle was close. Like, 4HP close. Good thing he missed that first shot, I guess.
 
DragonFreak said:
Nice nice, very very nice.

Now I will cease to stop coming up with torturous challenges for at least another Gym Leader
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Oh come on, the only one you're not going to make harder is the one that's already easy?! GIMME A BREAK.

But, enough of challenges, I think we're all missing the point here: What happened to the real Brock?!
 
DragonFreak said:
That was the real Brock, but you were so high, that you thought it wasn't.
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Oh.

...

I KILLED BROCK
 
...then prove it.
 
It's pretty simple Mr. Vommack, once you read the autopsy report. Now, he died of hypothermia, and has traces of fairy dust on him. As he died in a pretty hot room with no cooling object, he has to have been killed by someone else. Fairy dust requires a fairy to have done it, and only ice fairies can do cold magic. You are most definitely not an ice fairy, so you can't be the killer.
 
Wow, making a lot of updates in a row now.
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Ugh...OK, I think I'm not high anymore, so it's time to keep going...
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"Huh? Whose footprints are these? THERE HE IS! ...Oh wait, it's Ridley."
Yeah. And you're that lab guy, right?
"I'm his aide. Oak told me to give this to you."
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FINALLY! Screw walking, I can run everywhere now!
...by the way, why is it I can't run in normal shoes?
"Uh...Y'know...Sciencey....science...stuff. Alright, I'm going back to the lab now."
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I swear, if this is telling me to-Nope. Not gonna give anyone any ideas.
"Dear Ridley,
I got you this pair of running shoes to make up for kicking you out. But mostly because I need the money you're gonna make as champion, living ain't cheap y'know.
-Mom"
Oh, NOW she loves me.
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Oooh, this route is just FULL of trainers, isn't it? Of course, that means that it is full of MONEY.
"Excuse me. You looked at me."
WHAT KIND OF RULE IS THAT ANYWAYS?! If everybody fought every time someone looked at someone else, then every major city would be subjected to huge riots 24/7!
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She has a pair of Pidgeys. And let me just say for the record that nothing tastes quite like roasted Pidgey.
"H-hey! Stop eating my Pidgeys!"
BEAT IT, LADY, I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING SINCE MY MOM KICKED ME OUT.
"You're mean..."
Hey, YOU were the one who started the fight.
(Note: I'm an idiot and forgot to post a level screenshot again. It was +2 in HP and +1 in everything else)
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Oh really? What was your name, again...?
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...No, pretty sure there wasn't a Colton in Viridian Forest.
His Caterpie goes up in flames in one hit. Man, I'm on a roll toda-
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*pisses pants*
...Gyngh...awrgsdf...
"...You alright?"
*Viridian Forest flashback*
...Yeah, I'm good. My Post-Weedle Stress Disorder was just acting up again. So many weedles...So many...
*two more knockouts later*
"Dangit! You beat me again!"
...Are you high or something? Did you talk with that shady guy hanging around the gym? 'Cause seriously, I've never seen you before in my life. And I might never again, I still have a nasty case of Caterpie Fever...

ANYWAYS, on a note that isn't related to terminal diseases, time to move o-
"Hi! I like shorts!"
...That's cool. Now, can I just get thr-
"They're delightfully comfy and easy to wear!"
...OK kid, now can you step out of the w-
"I like shorts!"
SHUTTUP.
"I LIKE SHORTS!"
...Alright, there's no other way to get through this, so, Toaster? Light up his day.
"AAAAH! I'M ON FIRE! I still like shorts though!"
K, let's move on...
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Huh, I never knew little boys gave out experie-
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Oh no, it came sooner than I expected.
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Ladies and gentlemen, our friend Toaster is now a highly destructive abomination of a living being. Yes. I'm afraid she is now...A TEENAGE GIRL.*horror scream*
"Oh hey, look, you're a trainer. LET'S FIGHT."
...Mkay the-
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"They got Johnny! THE WEEDLES GOT JOHNNY!"
...wait, I don't even know a Johnny.
*four burned insects later*
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"If I had new Pokemon, I would've won!"
Oh, so you're saying that old Pokemon are bad? That only young Pokemon know how to fight? Do you hate elderly Pokemon or something? Je-
"HEY!"
Oh great, another youngster?
"You aren't wearing shorts! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!"
...what is up with these people and shorts
I should mention that I was wrong about roasted Pidgey. Roasted Spearow works just as well.
"Y-you burned my SHORTS!"
...I thought you'd be more upset about your Spearo-
"MY SHORTS! WHY WOULD YOU BURN MY SHORTS?!"
...Is there an evil shorts-obsessed cult of youngsters or something? Alright, moving o-
"That look you gave me. It is most intriguing."
...Uh-huh...(Is she hitting on me? I think I'll go back to the shorts cult now..)
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I swear, the further I go on this route, the creepier things are getting...
"I'll battle you with these bugs I just caught!"
Please, please, PLEASE tell me you don't catch Weedles.
"I don't."
Alright then. TOASTER LIGHT THEM UP.
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"Done like dinner!"
...Please tell me that means you have dinner. Cause seriously, I've been starving for-what, weeks is it, now?
"I just saw you eat three Pokemo-"
Yeah, and they were all tiny, unevolved birds. I need REAL food...
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Eh, I guess I'll go hunting.
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Oh, hey, would ya look at that, a new Pokemon.
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NIDORAN♂ GET!
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Well, this episode's starting to drag on and I haven't done an audience participation thing in a while, so you guys name that and I'll stop for now.
 
DragonFreak said:
I mean uh you should have gave me a roasted pidgey.
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IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I ATE IN 15 DAYS!
 
El LuigiNúmero1 said:
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This has been supported 3 times. I hate you all.
El LuigiNúmero1 said:
DragonFreak said:
Still, you should have gave one to your draggy buddy.
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Isn't Vommack more or less too poor to send you food over however the *bleep* he'll send food from Kanto to Hoenn?
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Yeah. I mean, I'm fighting for peanuts here. I killed Brock and all the money I got from him equaled to about $14.
 
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