Tuxedo Ridley LeafGreen: YOU DECIDE!!!

Hey, look, a poll, I guess. Not like anyone cares.

  • Nah, you're right, no one cares. Give up already.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1
*BLEEP* THIS *BLEEP*. While you people are all laughing at my plight, I spent the last three days in a ZUBAT-INDUCED COMA. UGH. Well, since you all want it so bad, ON WITH THE SHOW
*down the ladder*
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It looks like there's nothing here, but there are really more of those shroom-crab things. I should probably try to use those. No bad trip could be worse than *bleep*ing Zubat flu. Not to mention I still have that Caterpie fever.
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Another ladder...? Heh. I wonder if there's a BIG SCARY TEEEEAAAAM ROOOOOOOOCKEEEEEEET HIDEOUT down there.
...Y'know what? Putting your hideout inside another team's hideout is kind of clever, in a way, I mean no one would ever suspect it. Oh well, that guy was just insa-
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"Wha-no, sir. I didn't mean for him to run into us. I mean, we knew the kid was dumb, but we didn't think he was stupid enough to run into a pit apparently full of deadly creatures. ...OK, it was a shoddy cover for our trooper there, but it's not like he's listening to me talk on the phone to our glorious leader or anything. Yessir, he's completely una-"
W-wh-wha-WHA-TEAM ROCKET?!?! YOU GUYS REALLY ARE REAL?!?!
"...well, there goes my job, then. Kay kid, I'm sure you're nice and all, and I didn't want to have to do this, but, uh...I'm gonna have to kill you now."
...Riiiight.
"Dude. I'm a professional trainer. Some runt from Pallet Town won't have a chance once people actually start trying."
BRING IT ON.
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Wha-only 2 Pokemon? If you're supposedly a professional, shouldn't you be hauling 6 with you?
"I...Uh...Left all my Pokeballs in my other pants."
Okay. And lemme guess, they're all Zubats and Rattatas?
"SHUTU-I mean...No."
You "professionals" are pathetic, you know that?
*one Zubat and one Ekans later*
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"Wha-YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT GOOD!"
...Wait, are you saying my skill is supposed to be pre-set?
"Uh...well...Y'see...Oh, screw it. TEAM ROCKET BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN"
...What the *bleep* is that even supposed to mean. Ah well, I'll just take this TM he had lying around and leave.
...Why do people leave CDs on the floor of a cavern, anyways? Seems like a place where it would be likely that they would get broken.
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Meh? Looks like Team Poke Ball left some kid to guard this corner. I bet I could totally hide in a cardboard box right here, then jump out and KO him when he walks by. It'll be completely stea-
!
CURSE MY CHRONIC INABILITY TO HAVE ANY STEALTHINESS WHATSOEVER.
*a few beat-up Pokemon later*
Bleh. Thanks to you running into me, I'm gonna have to go back to the PC. I hope you're proud of yourself for wasting my time.
*does so*
Mkay, I'm ba-
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Ha. I'll definitely sneak right past this fat oaf. Yep. He won't detect me at all. As long as I don't go on and on about how I'm going to sneak around him. Yep. Going right pa-
!
DANGIT
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I find this weird moony stone thing over here. I think it might have come from the moon or something, but that doesn't make sense, because how would something from space end up underground?
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Oh look, another ladder. Have you noticed yet that there are tons of those?
By the way, there are still tons of Zubats. I've just gotten so used to them that I'm not shouting about them anymore.Definitely not because I forgot about that gag and didn't want to rewrite this or anything.
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Huh, this one is actually open instead of being just another tiny room. Could this be...*gasp*A WAY OUT?!?!
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And here's some weird...rock...thing...wait, there's an instruction book.
"Throw this a Pokemon to un-KO it."
...Well. That's strange, but...I'll take it.
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Random encounters have their perks.
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Wha-ANOTHER TEAM ROCKET?! They're REALLY a thing?
"Uh...Sir...I know Johnny said he'd take care of him, but...He killed Johnny. And he's staring right at me. ...Uh, right, sorry sir, I'll be sure not to discuss this on a radio in front of him anymore so I don't risk spilling any details about how his whole life is-Dangit I did it again. Y'know what, sir? You just shouldn't trust me with a radio anymore.*click*Kay kid, come with me so we can erase your memory."
...You're nuts, you know that?
*two KO'd Pokemon later*
"Dang, you're too good. K. I'll just leave now."
...You're not going to do that blasting off thing?
"Wha-*bleep* that. A kid just beat me in a fight, isn't that embarassment enough?"
Uh...Kay then. Cya.
...WAIT WAIT NO I NEED TO ASK YOU he's gone. Great.
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Ugh. Sometime, this thing will become a badass dragon. I just have to wait...Ugh...
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...Huh. There have been significantly less Zubats arou-
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AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! W-W-WHAT IS THAT?!?! N-n-no! Stay away from me! GET IN THE BALL!
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(I couldn't fit the second word of his name. "Abomination".
P-phew...Okay..You're all contained now...I'll never have to look into your..Soulless eyes again...Your disfigured face...Your horrific features...I don't know if I'll ever be myself again...Not after that...
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ANOTHER one?
"Hey kid, I know you're having a good time and all, but I really need you ro-"
Yeah. How about I just beat you like I did all your friends?
"Yeah, right."
*about half a minute later*
"W-W-WHAT?!?!"
Yep. You lost.
"GYAAAAGH! TEAM ROCKET BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"
...seriously, what is that supposed to mean?
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Alright, moving o-Oh hey, another moon stone. Dunno why I'm picking these up, not like they'll ever be useful.

Now who's this ne-
"STAY AWAY! MY FOSSILSES! My fossilses, yes..."
Oh right, the fossils. Stand aside, I want o-
"NO! They are MY fossilses! My preciouses!"
...Sounds like as good an excuse to battle as any.
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...That's your Pokemon? looks more like a pile of mud.*KO*Now then...
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...A giant fart bubble?*KOs*Seriously, do you have anything that's actually threate-
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OH *BLEEP*, CALM DOWN MAN
"Eh heh eh..Riddlyes...These fossilses are mines..."
QUICK, HE'S DISTRACTED! USE EMBER!
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"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!*sigh*Fine, you win. Take one."
...Wait, why aren't you talking like that anymore?
"I just do that to scare people off. Now, do you want one or not?"
Wha-ONLY one? But I-*sigh*Fine, I choose...
DOME or HELIX? YOU decide!
 
Gimme that Dome one.
"Mkay, sure."
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AHA! Greetings, my comrade! I must commend you for avoiding the path of the evil Lord Helix, and for choosing to walk the path of the Dome!
Uh...What?
It is I, the Lord Dome! I shall now be your eternal companion on this quest!
...Do I have to deal with you?
Just bear with it, you get a Pokemon in the end.
Fair enough.
"Would you stop talking to yourself?! THIS fossil is mine!"
Alright then. Cya.
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Hey look, I finally found the way out!(The item's an Antidote)
Yes, my comrade-in-arms! Let us leave this filthy cave, for it is tainted by the evils of the Helix, and let us journey out and fight everlastingly against that dastardly Lord Helix and his devious supporters!
...whatever you say.*leaves*
"...Ridleyses...We hates it forever..."
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YES! DAYLIGHT! I was stuck in that cave for TWENTY YEARS!

...Fine, it was just a few hours. But they were a really awful few hours.
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Huh? Who are these guys?
"YOU! Surely, you shall join me, in the way of the MEGA PUNCH!"
"Do not listen to that fool! The mega punch shall lead you to nothing but sorrow. You must learn the way of the MEGA KICK!"
Oh great, another conflict to choose a side in...
Lol that was a really short one. BUT WHICH ONE WILL YOU TAKE?!
 
Oliver said:
El LuigiNúmero1 said:
Neither because do you seriously think you have a Poké that can learn either?
he has a mankey
And a Charizard, and a Pikachu, and a Clefairy, and presumably at some point in the future a Nidoking and Nidoqueen...
 
KICK

Then order your Pokémon to kick the guy who has Mega Punch so you can steal it from him.
 
Whelp, guess that's a vote now. I'll do the next part at some point when I'm not too lazy to stop laying on the couch.
 
HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I MIGHT BE DOING AN UPDATE TONIGHT #improbablygoingtohypethehelloutofthisandthenendupscrewingeveryoneover
 
Cynthia said:
Gregor said:
HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I MIGHT BE DOING AN UPDATE TONIGHT #improbablygoingtohypethehelloutofthisandthenendupscrewingeveryoneover

Cool! I thought this was dead!
NOOOOOPE, just on hiatus while I learned super-cool karate stuff! NOW READ THE UPDATE YOU FOOL
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OH MIGHTY MASTER OF KICKS THE VOICES IN MY HEAD HAVE DEMANDED I JOIN YOU
"Very well, young padawan. Now, you must train rigorously for a very long time!"
YAAA-wait, this is just a cheap excuse to get me to wash your car for free, isn't it?
"...maybe."
*timeskip*
"You...are now ready."
YAAAAAAY I GET TO KICK THINGS NOW
"Wait, WHAT? You thought YOU would be kicking things? No, no, it's the Pokemon who will be doing the kicking!"
...you are kidding me, yes?
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Haha, let's try this out! Toaster, KICK!
"ARGH! My...Urgh..."
"OH *bleep*! You just kicked the president of the Punch Clan in the privates, man!"
...What does this mean?
"The forces of kung-fu have become unbalanced! Peace has been disturbed! The forces of punch and kick shall soon march to battle! Unrest will break out in cities across the nation! A NEW CIVIL WAR IS BEGINNING!"
...wait, really? Kicking a guy in the nuts is that bad?
"YES!"
...well...uh....I'll just worry about that war when I come to it, then...
"Quickly, comrades! Into the mountain! We must fortify our defenses before the Punch Clan comes!"
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Despite the fact that fighters everywhere have apparently detected a huge imbalance in the forces of kung-fu and are preparing for a great war between punches and kicks, the mountains are eerily peaceful. Except for Tarzan, who's currently going primeapeshit in the corner.(bet ya forgot about him, huh?) This is a TM05. Who leaves a CD out in the middle of the wild, anyways?
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Aaaaand we're in Cerulean, which means the next update will contain A SUPER EPIC GYM BATTLE OF DESTINY! AND PROBABLY SOME CITY-BASED EVENTS! AND MAYBE EVEN A WAR! WHO KNOWS?!?!

Not you, cause this one's ending here.


...wait, what? What do you mean it was too short? I'M JUST TAKING A BREAK, I'LL TRY TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE UP TONI-wait, why are you-OW-throwing stuff at me?! STOP! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!
sidenote:I'm going to try to have the Harvest Moon first update up tonight. Sorry bout the delays, I had super awful writer's block.
 
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Man, I've been standing here for a while now. Hey, I wonder what that guy's doing over there?
"Me? Nothing much. Hey, aren't you making a Pokemon encyclopedia? That sounds amusing."
...How'd you know that?
"I, uh...well, I just guessed and you confirmed it. Yup."
Alright then. Ha. Yeah, it's real amusing running around collecting Pokemon for a crazy old man who can't remember anything and forced me out into the world against the world to do this and help me
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One freakin' screen of this town has as many buildings as my entire hometown did. Man, did I really live in such a dump?
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GAAAAAAAAAAAAARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
"You're still struggling back here?"
Struggling? I just kicked that mountain's ass. Well, at least, I did the best I could while being literally eaten alive by Zubats. I still have the teeth marks...
"I just caught a bunch of strong and smart Pokemon! Here, let me see what you caught!"
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Every time I kick your ass, and every time you come crawling back for more.
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Oh, so you finally evolved something? You're actually capable of doing damage now? Cute. Let me show you how a real trainer fights.
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Wow, you actually took two shots this time! Clearly, your ability has DOUBLED since last time, Gary. Impressive.
"...shut it."
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"Let's see you counter thi-IS THAT A PIKACHU?!"
Yup.
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...stop lasting more than one round, Gary. It's becoming mildly irritating.
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"Alright then...COWER IN FEAR OF MY ABRA! My OFFICIAL POKEMON STRATEGY GUIDE™ SAYS ITS PSYCHIC TYPE MAKES ME INVINCIBLE!"
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That strategy guide was printed in 1999.
"Yeah, so? It's not like any huge advantages psychic types had in 1999 have been amended in the 15 years since!"
I think you'd be surprised...
"Ha, yeah ri-Dang. It fainted already. ...Uh, what do I have left? Let's see, Rattata, and...nope, just Rattata. Ulp."
What, you don't like Rattata?
"No! I like Rattata! In fact, I would be entirely heartbroken if something were to happen to it and it were to disappear from my team forever."
...right. I'm sure that's not gonna happen.
"Yeah! So it's time for Rattata to get out there and WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"
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FACE THE POWER OF THE KICK CLAN!
"P-please, keep it away! Here, take my money! PLEASE!"
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Y'know, I always wondered how this tradition started.
"Oh, I'll tell you then. You see, back in the day, there was a guy who was not as super awesome mega cool totally ra-"
We get it Gary, you're an egotistic, horribly-dated product of the 90's. Cut to the important part.
"Well, y'see, this loser kept getting beaten at Pokemon by this other guy with a Bulbasaur."
Pfft. Bulbasaurs are SO out of fashion these days.
"I know, right? Could you imagine if you picked it back at the lab? If you chose a Squirtle or something and I had to pick Bulbasaur, I'd just die of embarrassment."
Note to self: Pick Squirtle next time
"So, the guy kept taking his lunch money. But then, one day, the penniless kid happened upon a Pokeball and managed to catch THE SUPER ULTIMATE AWESOME POKEMON THAT'S SO OVERPOWERED IT MAKES MEGA RAYQUAZA LOOK LIKE LUVDISC IN COMPARISON™!"
...what the heck is a Mega Rayquaza?
"You'll find out in a few generations. Anyway, it was so amazingly awesome that its mere sight made the Bulbasaur EXPLODE."
Wow.
"And then he took the now Bulbasaur-less whimp's money. Ever since then, everyone has always taken the loser's money just to try to emulate just a bit of the awesomeness of that trainer."
Huh.
"So, I went to Bill's and he showed me a bunch of rare Pokemon! Man, my Pokedex is filling up fast."
Bill?
"He invented the Pokemon Storage System. You should probably go talk to him. Anyway, smell ya later!"
...if he hates me so much, why does he keep giving me hints? ...and trying to smell me every time he sees me?
"...oh, by the way, take this, cause I feel sorry for you."
Obtained the Fame Checker.
This is totally useless and you just wanted to get it out of your backpack, right?
"Yup, pretty much. BYE!"
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Hmm, a random bridge. Well, I'm sure nothing strange will happen if I try to cross it, right?
NEXT TIME: We get to see our hero struggle against the elements as he dramatically...crosses a bridge. (Seriously, this is riveting stuff right here.)
 
DragonFreak said:
Still 571293571297 times further than me. Also I question the legality of Mega Rayquazas making Bulbasaurs explode.
It was clearly stated that it was a different Pokemon then Mega Rayquaza. Take better notes DF, there's gonna be a quiz on this.
 
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