If an intruder came into your home, what would you say, do etc.?

S

Splash Warfly

Goomba
Me it depends. My mom it depends to.
 
hey. I see you're new here (welcome btw), but you seem to have accidently put this in the wrong board. general discussion is for subjects related to the wiki or the forum, such as proposals, maintenance, etc. off-subject disscusion is where you want to go for topics like this. :)

on-topic; I'd probably grab the nearest heavy object and try to defend myself with it
 
Question them if that's possible, otherwise knock them out, either with the fisticuffs or the assistance of a nearby object capable of causing intense trauma with relative ease. Then I'd call the police or take whatever necessary action to exact justice as it's due.

At least, that's what I'd normally (intend to) do but if it's somehow possible, I'd politely greet them with a handshake, saying "why hello there, care for a cup of tea?"

I would sit them on the couch and persuade them to say yes - if they ask for crumpets though I'll remind them this isn't a charity - and go into the kitchen to fix them a cup. And in the kitchen, I'll call my immediate family. When I come out shortly after, I'll be carrying a knife to ensure I have the upper hand. At that moment, I'll state that this isn't their cup of tea, just as their demeanour here isn't mine. That would be checkmate, and reinforcements would eventually arrive home.
 
probably scream and run to the nearest relative for help
 
i sometimes keep knives in my room when i'm home alone, to ensure that if someone comes in, i'll have a way to defend myself
 
after hiding in a closet, alerting the police thanks to wonderful smartphone technology, and letting them play hide-and-seek for me I'll introduce them to The Butter Knife

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offer them a spotting cup of hot tea and try to sort things out

if he says no then at least I can accidentally spill it on him
 
Get something heavy, try to throw it, run to my room, lock the door, and call 911.
 
1) grab saucepan
2) hide & lock
3) call the cops
 
Hide and call 911. Or let my parents deal with it, i'd imagine it'd be a really frightening experience
 
call 911 and hide

or beat the shit out of them and then call 911

depends on my homicidal urges that day.
 
Although even in California I'm allowed to eject trespassers (CALCRIM 3475), protect myself (CALCRIM 505), and even detain someone (CALCRIME 508) or protect my property (CALCRIM 3476), I'd prefer to call 911 and let the police handle it.
 
clearly i'd put on my one punch uniform and ask him to please not destroy my house this time, and when he ignores my instructions and breaks my window yet again, finish him off with a single punch to the face. lastly, stare at my hand in horror. why am i too strong, why?? everything i fight is defeated with one punch! i just wanted to have an entertaining fight, but they are all ended too quickly. curse you 100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats, and a 10km run every day. curse you pokemon go! give me back my hair!


that or i'd grab my phone and portable charger, lock my bed room door and hide in my bathroom in my room and lock that door also, then call 911 like a normal person.
 
^ Since when would somebody break into your house to give flowers?

Anyway I think I'd... try to hide the evidence.

EDIT: RELEVANCE BROKEN
 
Nozomi Toujou said:
i think he means depending on how threatening they are or what they plan on committing
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Exactly, for all I know I was an idiot left the door unlocked and they're hiding from an aggressive gang or something.
 
If they have little to no ill intentions, they should always knock first.
 
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