My only reason for living

M

MattMVS7

Monty Mole
Banned User
I am finally out of this traumatic experience, I finally have my happiness and motivation back to me again, and I do not need any medication. But this packet is still important for you to be aware of in case there ever comes a time again where I have depression and lose my motivation, happiness, and inspiration again.

My happiness, enjoyment, inspiration, and motivation is the only experience that makes everything in my life worth living for. As long as I struggle from depression, misery, and anhedonia that takes this experience away from me, then I have nothing left to make my life worth living.

There are a number of factors that can take this experience away from me. One of these factors are traumatic experiences in your life. Another is brain damage due to a stroke, lack of circulation, autoimmune diseases attacking the brain, heart attacks, the development of clinical depression that is ongoing, etc. So that is why I have to make sure I am as healthy as possible since this is the only experience I have to make my life worth living.

Many people would tell me that my life can still have worth, joy, motivation, inspiration, etc. even while in a depressed state and even while you have brain damage that has rendered you completely anhedonic. This is not the case for me at all. When I am depressed and anhedonic, then it is like I am nothing more than a lifeless statue set in motion living my life and doing my hobbies. As a matter of fact, depression and misery are far worse than anhedonia since they are horrible crippled states of being.

That is no way to live and that is no way to do my hobbies. There is literally no joy, worth, value, happiness, motivation, etc. in such a life for me. It has nothing to do with my attitude and my way of thinking. This is what this experience truly is for me. It is no different than physical pain.

Pain is still painful regardless of your attitude and your way of thinking. Therefore, a life of depression and anhedonia will always be a joyless, empty, worthless life for me regardless of what I do, how I think, and what attitude I have.

It really is complete nonsense for anyone out there to say that my life can still be worth living while I am depressed and anhedonic. I know that they are trying to help me and all, but it just isn't true. My life needs actual joy, happiness, enjoyment, motivation, and inspiration--not just thoughts and attitudes which will do nothing for me. Really, that is no different than a blind and deaf person thinking to his/herself that he/she still has sight and hearing.

Telling his/herself that will not give him/her actual sight and hearing. They are nothing more than words and phrases (thoughts). But these thoughts do not contain the actual experience of sight and hearing for this person. This analogue also applies when I am depressed and anhedonic.

No amount of telling myself or attitudes will give my life actual joy, worth, happiness, inspiration, and motivation since these are nothing more than words and phrases (thoughts) that will not give me actual joy, worth, inspiration, happiness, and motivation.

Everyone is different and everyone's experiences are different. For some people, being happy and enjoying their lives is the only experience they truly have to make their lives worth living. It has nothing to do with being spoiled, childish, and selfish like most cruel inconsiderate people out there in the world would claim.

That would be judgmental and disrespectful of them to say that to me. I would respect them and not judge them for the things that give their lives worth and joy since I am a respectful person. Therefore, I should earn the same respect since I am a kind person who isn't cruel and doesn't harm and torture other innocent people.

Therefore, my happiness and enjoyment is the only experience I have to make my life and all my hobbies worth living and we need to do all we can to preserve, protect, and keep this experience alive and healthy in my life.
 
Lord Bowser said:
uh...
do you need to talk to someone...?
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Yes, I am wanting to talk to someone who can give in-depth feedback to the post I've made.
 
This is a conversation you should have with a professional therapist, not an online community about a magical bouncing plumber.
 
This is a story I have created between me and Amy Rose:

Me: "I love you Amy Rose!"
Amy: "I am in love with Sonic!"
Me (with a very soft passionate informative tone of voice): "Sonic doesn't want you. He runs away from you!"

~The End~


I am experiencing ongoing panic from something I read which is that the Earth rotates at 1,000 mph and orbits the sun at 67,000 mph. Since I am moving that fast, I feel that I can't stop myself and can't escape this speed (my mind is racing with panic from knowing this).


Sonic encounters an area of the zone where there are spines covering both the ground and the ceiling. To his surprise, he was inside a mechanical fish that Eggman has created. The spines he is witnessing are the teeth of the fish. Sonic will have to fight this boss and avoid being chomped down.

I have come up with an idea for a new Sonic game. Actually, it is for Silver the Hedgehog since we are talking the supernatural world here with near death experiences, the afterlife, and psychic abilities.

When a person has a near death experience, that is said to be a person leaving their body and also a hyper conscious state in which things are hyper real and strong transcending feelings are experienced. Silver nearly gets nearly killed in this game, he comes out of his body in a hyper form in which he is in a transcended hyper conscious state. Everything is hyper real and he has surging feelings of transcending energy coursing through him.

He then visits other dimensions (the afterlife) in this new form. You get to dash at warpspeed through space to other dimensions. You get to obtain whole new emeralds on the astral plane (afterlife). It is like Silver getting a psychedelic speed meth high and he gets to go at really high speed. Silver is really high and he gets to have a really awesome time up there in the afterlife.
 
well uh quite frankly i don't think you should expect very much feedback past a lot of confusion jere, mainly because we simply don't know you well nor do we know what's been happening to you. i'm not saying we don't care about you, it's just that because we're not familiar with you very much, we won't be able to assist you as much as we could. i personally am sorry that you feel this way, but i think the best course of action for you would be to reach out to people who know you better, and if all else fails, consult a therapist.
 
MattMVS7 said:
Lord Bowser said:
uh...
do you need to talk to someone...?
Click to expand...
Yes, I am wanting to talk to someone who can give in-depth feedback to the post I've made.
Click to expand...
i'm gonna be blunt, there isn't much we can do here past saying "there, there, i feel your pain"

i mean, this is a mario forum, here we talk about mario and other video games, and for some crazy reason, politics

i'd recommend you a therapy forum, but for two reasons: i don't know any, and this is sort of a situation you should discuss with a therapist, like Mr. Edo suggested

sorry about your problems but there isn't much we can do here

anything we say could potentially make things worse
 
step 1: stop what you're doing immediately. put down the laptop, or desktop mouse, or smartphone, or whatever device you're using right now, and get some help asap if you haven't already. you have a serious medical issue that should be treated with the weight it deserves.

this is a board about whimsical video games, what exactly are we supposed to do? say nice things and give friendly support until you magically feel better? that's not how depression works, and you know that, you say as much in your post. does your family even know about this?

please, no one wants to see you suffer. talk with a psychiatrist, or therapist, or school counselor, or chaplain. anyone who has credentials in this kind of stuff and can actually help you. there are whole professions whose role it is to help people like you. as others have said, all we can really do is offer our sympathy, but we're just a band-aid to a much more significant and much more dangerous disease.
 
Please, seek out a therapist or psychiatrist. While I believe a physical person to talk to would be far better, there is also this forum you can visit if you want to talk about this, as unfortunately this forum isn't the place to do so. I wish you luck in the future.
 
Uh, randomly talking about extremely personal issues to strangers (yes, we're still strangers to you) isn't gonna do you any good here. If you want to have a serious conversation with people on this forum, actually bond with us first.
 
allow me to offer you a piece of advice, even though I don't know anything about you

I'm not sure why the first place you thought of for advice was a video game forum, but we can't be much help since this is literally your first day here

the only thing we can really do is point you to a therapist or someone similar. though I do hope you get out of your slump
 
I don't get the reference and I still chuckled.
 
To everyone who posted here. I have already said that I recovered and am no longer traumatized and depressed. I am just sharing what brings my personal life value, joy, happiness, and worth. I wanted to see what people had to say about it after reading all of it.
 
MattMVS7 said:
To everyone who posted here. I have already said that I recovered and am no longer traumatized and depressed. I am just sharing what brings my personal life value, joy, happiness, and worth. I wanted to see what people had to say about it after reading all of it.
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Please understand that we have no context for what is going on in your life. You have so far maybe made 10 posts here in total, half of which were like three years ago. We literally do not know you or anything about you, and as such it is very hard to comment on this.

You are most likely not going to get a deep, meaningful conversation under these circumstances. I say this without any kind of malice, this is what I feel about this.
 
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