Vending machine

[Dr. Peach]

Koops gets a red shell.

Pwwnd123 inserts a TurboGrafx-16/PC Engine with the TurboGrafx-CD/PC Engine CD-ROM2 System.

 

[Yoshi the SSM]

You get a Turbo Boost for no apparent reason the next time you play any Mario Kart.

Yoshi the SSM inserts Green Yoshi, a Red Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, Blue Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, Light Blue Yoshi, Purple Yoshi, Brown Yoshi, Black Yoshi, White Yoshi, Orange Yoshi, Magenta Yoshi, and Boshi Yarn dolls (every type Yoshi plus the unique Yoshi in the first Mario RPG, which I haven't played).

 

[BBQ Turtle]

Yoshi the SSM gets every type of Shy Guy.
BBQ Turtle inserts a double bass.

 

[Princess Céline]

BBQ Turtle gets a quad bass

A51 inserts Mr. Big

 

[Mister Apple]

Princess Zelda gets an adorable Mr. Big plush.
Mister Apple inserts an apple.

 

[Koops]

Mister Apple gets apple juice.

Koops inserts Mister Apple.

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

The vending machine whirs for two minutes. Out pops a yellow apple

Its yellow color gleams with such brilliance, it can be mistaken for a precious metal. Be careful with it around Greek goddesses and talking snakes.

LeftyGreenMario inserts a Nintendo Switch into the vending machine.

 

[Mister Apple]

LGM gets a GameCube.
Mister Apple inserts a piece of paper with a picture of Luigi on it.

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

The vending machine immediately releases Mario's shoe.

It smells like... Mario's feet. Bring it to a certain fortune teller to learn about Mario's fate.

LeftyGreenMario inserts a bucket of water.

 

[Mister Apple]

LeftyGreenMario gets an apologetic letter from Mister Apple, apologising for getting her gender wrong.
Mister Apple inserts a topman.

 

[Dr. Peach]

Mister Apple gets an Down Man.

Pwwnd123 inserts a Sega Saturn.

 

[Occasionally Returns]

Pwwnd123 gets the biggest Genesis.

John inserts a banana peel.

 

[Koops]

John gets banana ashes.

Koops inserts some The Incredibles quotes.

 

[BBQ Turtle]

Koops gets some The Incredibles 2 quotes.
BBQ Turtle inserts a neck pillow.

 

[Mister Apple]

BBQ Turtle gets a head pillow, which is actually just a regular pillow.
Mister Apple inserts a goomba.

 

[Yoshi the SSM]

Mister Apple gets attacked by a million Goombas.

Yoshi the SSM inserts a construction hat.

 

[Occasionally Returns]

Yoshi the SSM gets an opportunity for a different job.

John inserts a graded essay.

 

[Dr. Peach]

John gets an ungraded essay.

Pwwnd123 inserts a Sega Dreamcast.

 

[Koops]

Pwwnd123 gets nothing, that was Sega's last console.

Koops inserts nothing.

 

[BBQ Turtle]

Koops gets an empty piece of paper.
BBQ Turtle inserts a pair of shoes.

 

[Dr. Peach]

BBQ Turtle gets a pair of slippers.

Pwwnd123 inserts an Atari Lynx.

 

[Mister Apple]

Pwwnd123 gets a can of disgusting Lynx deodarant (known as Ax in the States).
Mister Apple inserts a CD containing a full album by Pauline.

 

[Occasionally Returns]

Mister Apple gets an autograph

John inserts AA batteries

 

[Mister Apple]

John gets AAA video games.
Mister Apple inserts a phone.

 

[BBQ Turtle]

Mister Apple gets a phone case.
BBQ Turtle inserts a cardboard box.