Have a personal problem I'd like some opinions on

[Shy Guy Forever]

Sorry if this isn't the right board to do this on, I just had some problems with a friend I wanted some serious opinions on from multiple viewpoints.

So, basically, I have this friend who I had considered a close friend for a while, but lately he hasn't made an effort to contact me. He doesn't answer my calls and rarely responds to texts. I can also tell that he sometimes sends me to voicemail because it sometimes rings less times than others. The last time I talked to him, which was probably weeks ago, he said we were still friends but he was too busy to contact me. The thing is, he has a YouTube account, and he's uploaded videos of him playing games with other friends, and he continues to not try to contact me. Does he not want to be friends anymore, or what? Sorry to bother you guys with this, but this kind of thing is new to me, and I could really use some advice on what this all means, and what I should do about it.

Also sorry about the wall of text.

 

[Anton]

It's a fact of life that friendships grow and die out with time. I know you're young so this is probably your first experience with it, and yeah it's rather jarring, but it just happens. It may be a matter of (in)convenience for him, like, it sounds silly but even in chat when someone starts plopping themselves in just one particular channel (or even irc vs. discord/skype/hangouts/etc.) to talk and everyone else is in another, it becomes inconvenient to talk to them without repeating stuff so things just start fading. It'll happen when high school ends, when college ends (even per semester), it'll happen when you go from one job to another, etc. As people mature their personalities may change and might not be compatible with yours anymore, and I'm sure at some point you will do the same to someone else. It's never malicious, it's natural progression.

I'd say make another attempt or two to hang out and see what's up, and if it's a flop then let it be and move on. I would absolutely not be hostile about it or accusatory in any way because it's possible there's a much gentler reason or that things may pick back up later in the future.

 

[BBQ Turtle]

This sort of thing happens to me quite a bit, and I agree with what Anton says. Have another few tries at contacting and hanging out with him, and if it doesn't work, then you can feel free to move on, but always be welcome if that friend does want to get in contact again at a later date. I find that a lot of people with whom I used to be really close friends are still friends now, but just not as close, but we still have fun together and whatnot. If you do plan to contact him though, I would recommend trying to do it face to face with him, rather than texts and calls, unless that's not possible.

 

[Dr. Javelin]

Some people just don't want/need as much communication as you do; calling repeatedly usually has the opposite effect (makea them avoid you more).

I would say if you've already tried to contact them and they haven't responded then it's pretty clear they just aren't interested anymore. Don't take it personally, just move on and talk to other people. If they wanted to keep a strong friendship going they would have responded already.