Toka Hebizuka
玲瓏とした歔欷
- Pronouns
- SHE/HER
The primary intent of this post is for it to be something I can refer back to when criticising Mario Kart 8, and can also be a way to see why people like the game or if they disagree with my points and why.
I compare Mario Kart 8 to Mario Kart Wii a lot during this post, so this is why I have also put it in the title of the thread, however I do compare Mario Kart 8 to games besides Mario Kart Wii.
Items
Items are absolutely disgusting in this game, so enjoy ten paragraphs of me complaining about Red Shells.
Items are huge in Mario Kart 8, sometimes feeling like they take up half of the track. Their size makes them more dangerous then ever when they're being dragged behind a racer. With how common items such as the Banana are in the race already, having a ton of them strewn around the track is a death sentence. Remember when sniping with Green Shells took skill? Well now they take up half of the track so if you get triple greens you're guaranteed to get at least one hit. Contrast this to Mario Kart Wii, a Banana is a small obstacle on the track that can easily be avoided, the skill is in where you place it, not if you place it, and getting Triple Green Shells is three chances to hit someone, not a guarantee. Hitting someone when dragging an item behind you is a skill requiring good movement, meaning that dragged items are primarily used for protection, not as the scariest thing I've ever had to face in Mario Kart.
Heat Seeking Missiles Red Shells are out for blood in this game, and will stop at nothing to destroy you and fuel their murderous rampage. Cannon ahead? They'll just suddenly fly though that for absolutely no reason. Gliding section? If there isn't any ground below they'll just inexplicably gain the power of flight again. Compare this Mario Kart Wii again, Red Shells are at the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of power. Not only are they destroyed by Cannons and fall down gaps if they're large enough, but also if you're left defenceless you play can risky and take turns really tight next walls to get the Red Shell to break on them. Other times the Red Shell will break for no reason besides that they're from Mario Kart Wii. It's not this bad in other games such as DS and Double Dash, but they still break in Cannons and fall down gaps.
The Super Horn is a good idea on paper, but terrible in execution. It only has 2.5% (5/200) chance of appearing, and with the rarity of Blue Shells you'll be using the Super Horn on a Red Shell to protect yourself from that. It's a miracle if you manage to keep a Super Horn until a Blue Shell comes along, and that's if you can get both of those items to actually appear in the same race. While it is nice to have a way to destroy Blue Shell's, the Super Horn is highly situation and can rarely be used against Blue Shells.
Item Distribution* is wack. In first place** you have a 40% (80/200)*** chance of getting the absolutely useless Coin item that leaves you defenceless. In Mario Kart Wii the some what useful FIB that leaves you defenceless has a 20% (40/200) chance of appearing, meaning that being left defenceless in first is the exception, not the rule. Nintendo then decided it would it be fun if everyone got one of the most powerful item, by making Bullet Bills very frequent. They can be gained in higher places, multiple can be out at once, and at their highest they can be gained 45% (90/200) of the time.
Deluxe adds double items, and they couldn't even get that right. It adds even more chaos to a chaotic RNG based game, and Double Dash!! did it better. Switching your items around should be a simple mechanic of having two items at once, and somehow Nintendo forgot to implement that, so now you now have double the chaos, and it isn't even implemented well.
That's not to say Mario Kart 8's items have their upsides, Blue Shell's only have a 1-2.5% (2-5/200) chance of appearing, Thundercloud's have seized to exist, and despite my complaints, the item distribution favours powerful items far less in lower places. The changes to how Triple Bananas work is also far more fair.
*Item Distribution is based of Mario Kart 8, as Deluxe Item Distribution info has yet to be released (or Mario Wiki is really slow at updating).
**Mario Kart 8 Item Distribution is based off distance, not place, so any references to place in Mario Kart 8 is just a rough estimate, because Nintendo probably hates me.
***Item distribution data for Mario Kart 8 is found here, and is based of Vs. race. Item Distribution data for Mario Kart Wii is found here, and is based of Online. Yes I know these stars aren't funny any more and never were funny.
Gameplay
What is a good RNG based game when there is no gameplay? It is what makes Mario Party so appealing after all, and good gameplay could balance out the amount of random bullshit in the game. That leaves question, is the gameplay any good?
...of course not. Why do you think I made this section?
Mario Kart 8's gameplay is too simplistic. There's nothing beyond driving, turning and using items. Let's go back to Mario Kart Wii, wheelies added more to those boring straights, inside drifting allowed you to take super tight turns, you had control over youkart bike, and didn't feel as if you was going though the motions on a Scalextric track. Don't forget the amount of unintended abilities such as Low Tricks, Spin Drifting, Slip Drifting or Delayed Drifting. In Mario Kart 8 all you can do is Fire Ho-
BREAKING NEWS: Fire Hopping was removed in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, because Nintendo doesn't want a skill based Mario Kart game.
"But Shy Guy on Wheels," I pretend to hear you say when you actually didn't say anything, "What about 200cc? That requires a lot of skill doesn't it?" To which I can only say one thing.
Holding B is the only skill you need to learn in 200cc. Once you've learned that, there's nothing left. No unintended techniques, nothing track specific using janky physics, just holding B to use an intended mechanic.
Stats are a literal joke in this game, almost all of them are hidden, and they're tied to characters where each can be increased/decreased by up to a huge 1.25 points. That means if you're someone like me who wants a balance of Speed and Handling, then get ready to use a filler character such as Tanooki Mario. It's my fault for caring about stats though, because Nintendo's solution to the absolute shit show that was the balancing of Mario Kart Wii is to make the stats absolutely useless. I seriously can not tell the difference between the lowest and highest speed or handling stat. Imagine if in Mario Kart Wii the Torpedo drifted just as tightly as the Bowser Bike, that's what it feels like in Mario Kart 8. In a certain game for the Wii, if I switch to the Bowser Bike I miss how tight the Mach Bike drifts, and that's just a difference of 11, in Mario Kart 8 a stat change that small wouldn't even be noticeable.
And now for everyone's favourite feature that no-one cares about: The Coin. Remember these useless things from Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart: Super Circuit? Even in those games where I could tell a difference between stats I could not notice a difference when picking up coins, so in the game where a difference in stats isn't noticeable, how noticeable are the coins? Obviously not at all. It feel as if they might as well not do anything, or even be in the game at all.
Conclusion
Mario Kart Wii is the Super Smash Bros. Melee of Mario Kart, a game with some of the most depth in the series, all entirely by accident (and the balancing is terrible).
Mario Kart 7 & 8 are the Brawl of Mario Kart, a game that too focuses too hard on making the game accessible to the casual audience, losing a lot of what made the previous games good. Maybe one day we could have a Smash 4 and Ultimate of Mario Kart, a game that recaptures what made the series good.
Today Mario Kart is a series that is considered by many to have become stale, a series full of filler characters, a series that never tries anything original, yet there was a time when the Main Series games felt unoriginal, with New Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario 3D Land/World playing it too safe. After a while a game came along, it was called Super Mario Odyssey, and it proved Mario could be different if Nintendo tried hard enough. It had a new team, new ideas, and just felt new and refreshing. Mario Kart needs an Odyssey, a new team, new ideas, a game that takes risks and feels different from the cookie cutter Mario Kart 8.
I compare Mario Kart 8 to Mario Kart Wii a lot during this post, so this is why I have also put it in the title of the thread, however I do compare Mario Kart 8 to games besides Mario Kart Wii.
Items
Items are absolutely disgusting in this game, so enjoy ten paragraphs of me complaining about Red Shells.
Items are huge in Mario Kart 8, sometimes feeling like they take up half of the track. Their size makes them more dangerous then ever when they're being dragged behind a racer. With how common items such as the Banana are in the race already, having a ton of them strewn around the track is a death sentence. Remember when sniping with Green Shells took skill? Well now they take up half of the track so if you get triple greens you're guaranteed to get at least one hit. Contrast this to Mario Kart Wii, a Banana is a small obstacle on the track that can easily be avoided, the skill is in where you place it, not if you place it, and getting Triple Green Shells is three chances to hit someone, not a guarantee. Hitting someone when dragging an item behind you is a skill requiring good movement, meaning that dragged items are primarily used for protection, not as the scariest thing I've ever had to face in Mario Kart.
The Super Horn is a good idea on paper, but terrible in execution. It only has 2.5% (5/200) chance of appearing, and with the rarity of Blue Shells you'll be using the Super Horn on a Red Shell to protect yourself from that. It's a miracle if you manage to keep a Super Horn until a Blue Shell comes along, and that's if you can get both of those items to actually appear in the same race. While it is nice to have a way to destroy Blue Shell's, the Super Horn is highly situation and can rarely be used against Blue Shells.
Item Distribution* is wack. In first place** you have a 40% (80/200)*** chance of getting the absolutely useless Coin item that leaves you defenceless. In Mario Kart Wii the some what useful FIB that leaves you defenceless has a 20% (40/200) chance of appearing, meaning that being left defenceless in first is the exception, not the rule. Nintendo then decided it would it be fun if everyone got one of the most powerful item, by making Bullet Bills very frequent. They can be gained in higher places, multiple can be out at once, and at their highest they can be gained 45% (90/200) of the time.
Deluxe adds double items, and they couldn't even get that right. It adds even more chaos to a chaotic RNG based game, and Double Dash!! did it better. Switching your items around should be a simple mechanic of having two items at once, and somehow Nintendo forgot to implement that, so now you now have double the chaos, and it isn't even implemented well.
That's not to say Mario Kart 8's items have their upsides, Blue Shell's only have a 1-2.5% (2-5/200) chance of appearing, Thundercloud's have seized to exist, and despite my complaints, the item distribution favours powerful items far less in lower places. The changes to how Triple Bananas work is also far more fair.
*Item Distribution is based of Mario Kart 8, as Deluxe Item Distribution info has yet to be released (or Mario Wiki is really slow at updating).
**Mario Kart 8 Item Distribution is based off distance, not place, so any references to place in Mario Kart 8 is just a rough estimate, because Nintendo probably hates me.
***Item distribution data for Mario Kart 8 is found here, and is based of Vs. race. Item Distribution data for Mario Kart Wii is found here, and is based of Online. Yes I know these stars aren't funny any more and never were funny.
Gameplay
What is a good RNG based game when there is no gameplay? It is what makes Mario Party so appealing after all, and good gameplay could balance out the amount of random bullshit in the game. That leaves question, is the gameplay any good?
...of course not. Why do you think I made this section?
Mario Kart 8's gameplay is too simplistic. There's nothing beyond driving, turning and using items. Let's go back to Mario Kart Wii, wheelies added more to those boring straights, inside drifting allowed you to take super tight turns, you had control over you
BREAKING NEWS: Fire Hopping was removed in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, because Nintendo doesn't want a skill based Mario Kart game.
"But Shy Guy on Wheels," I pretend to hear you say when you actually didn't say anything, "What about 200cc? That requires a lot of skill doesn't it?" To which I can only say one thing.
Holding B is the only skill you need to learn in 200cc. Once you've learned that, there's nothing left. No unintended techniques, nothing track specific using janky physics, just holding B to use an intended mechanic.
Stats are a literal joke in this game, almost all of them are hidden, and they're tied to characters where each can be increased/decreased by up to a huge 1.25 points. That means if you're someone like me who wants a balance of Speed and Handling, then get ready to use a filler character such as Tanooki Mario. It's my fault for caring about stats though, because Nintendo's solution to the absolute shit show that was the balancing of Mario Kart Wii is to make the stats absolutely useless. I seriously can not tell the difference between the lowest and highest speed or handling stat. Imagine if in Mario Kart Wii the Torpedo drifted just as tightly as the Bowser Bike, that's what it feels like in Mario Kart 8. In a certain game for the Wii, if I switch to the Bowser Bike I miss how tight the Mach Bike drifts, and that's just a difference of 11, in Mario Kart 8 a stat change that small wouldn't even be noticeable.
And now for everyone's favourite feature that no-one cares about: The Coin. Remember these useless things from Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart: Super Circuit? Even in those games where I could tell a difference between stats I could not notice a difference when picking up coins, so in the game where a difference in stats isn't noticeable, how noticeable are the coins? Obviously not at all. It feel as if they might as well not do anything, or even be in the game at all.
Conclusion
Mario Kart Wii is the Super Smash Bros. Melee of Mario Kart, a game with some of the most depth in the series, all entirely by accident (and the balancing is terrible).
Mario Kart 7 & 8 are the Brawl of Mario Kart, a game that too focuses too hard on making the game accessible to the casual audience, losing a lot of what made the previous games good. Maybe one day we could have a Smash 4 and Ultimate of Mario Kart, a game that recaptures what made the series good.
Today Mario Kart is a series that is considered by many to have become stale, a series full of filler characters, a series that never tries anything original, yet there was a time when the Main Series games felt unoriginal, with New Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario 3D Land/World playing it too safe. After a while a game came along, it was called Super Mario Odyssey, and it proved Mario could be different if Nintendo tried hard enough. It had a new team, new ideas, and just felt new and refreshing. Mario Kart needs an Odyssey, a new team, new ideas, a game that takes risks and feels different from the cookie cutter Mario Kart 8.