Mushroom Kingdom Smackdown

GO READ THE NEW ISSUE AND LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF IT'S REALLY GOOD AND WE PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO IT

What? You want to vote for Smackdown?

Well, sure, I guess I can let you do that.

Input for Issue 184 is now open until July 2nd! We've done Wario and Yoshi as themes before, so I think it's about time we did a Donkey Kong theme! Let's keep the summer vibes going. All characters from the Donkey Kong franchise are eligible.

Votes will come later, I don't have the energy to come up with anything right now lol
 
Hey I'm doing this the day after the issue instead of a week later, what a novel concept! Here's your voting options this month.

H-h-here we go!
  • Funky Kong - NEW FUNKY MODE! If any of the Kongs scream summer, it's this dude with his funky attitude and bodacious surfing skills. He may not be riding the waves, but there's a good chance someone's getting smacked in the head with that surfboard. If you'd like to see Funky Kong in the next match, react with Wow (😮).
  • Kreepy Krow - Not quite as cool as a ghost pirate shark, but a ghost pirate crow will do just fine. With a flock of ghostly Mini-Neckies at his disposal, he's one tough cookie. Yarr! If you'd like to see Kreepy Krow in the next match, react with Thinking (🤔).
  • Toy Monster - It's a fighter that might make you think we're crossing over with To Infinity and Beyond this month but I assure you this monstrosity is a Donkey Kong original. This massive amalgamation of playthings will more than likely be toying with its opponent. If you'd like to see Toy Monster in the next match, react with Angry (😠).
 
*A letter falls from the sky, dropped off by a passing mail carrier.*​

Dear Greasy Drawer,

How's it been? You book another one of those fighters yet? Hah! Who're kidding? You don't need any new talent now that you've got that Delfinian Yoshi!

Me? With my cut from last month, I've taken a cruise down south. Juicy Jungle. Yeah, the kiddos love it. I'm not turning my pockets inside out to buy them popsicl ● es... No sirree... Le ● tting every hard-earne ● d penny... slip out ● ● of my fingers... for some ● ungrateful little- ● ● ● ●

Oh, woah now, where am I going with this? Listen, Waluigi Time, my cracked bowl, ignore the holes I just put in this paper. Even on vacation, your pal Pitoki is looking out for you! Don't reach for that shredder! 'Ey, have I ever failed to deliver? I didn't think so.

I met a guy down here looking for a paying gig. They call him Charlie. There should be a picture somewhere in the envelope, unless those lousy Parakoops lost it. When're they wise up and hire Lakitus instead?

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Yeah, that's right. Charlie. Even has a ring name. Chum Chucker. Chum Chucker Charlie. This guy's big. I hear he can take three tackles from a big gorilla before he goes down. All that blubber on him? He's a sure-thing defensive powerhouse if anyone tries to come right at him! I don't know about you, Waluigi Time, kingmaker, but those tusks look pretty sca-aaaary to me. And those fish! He throws those things! Between you and me, I think I can see why he's not moving product. These fish don't keep well in the heat. You can smell him from a mile away. But, hey, that just means they'll be better at keeping his opponent away? When I'm right, I'm right, and you know I'm right!

And this stays between us, capisce? But Charlie here's had it rough. The whole juicing factory here shut down. It's bad. It's real bad. Something something politics, Snowmad empire collapse, I wasn't really paying attention, but Charlie's been out of work for a year now. They've got pigs making pops now! Can you believe it? Pigs! Charlie's stuck with a load of fish he can't move, the ol' husband moved on to greener pastures, and the chum chucking just isn't the chum-chumerrie chum-making time it used to be.

Now, you might not know how much you mean to the little guys, on account of you being a big shot and all, but you're a life-changing pal, my sweet grubbery mascot maker. You picked your pal Pitoki off the ground when the agency sent me packing with the pink sheet. I was on the verge of being out on the streets, and now I'm living the life on a cruise down south. There's one man who can give Charlie a second chance, and it's you. I gave him your address. Expect a letter soon from him.

Oh, and, Waluigi Time, pal, buddy, my floating flake, don't write back. The postage from here is ridiculous. A second letter to you? Do I look made of money?

Your favorite booking agent,

Honio Pitoki
 
Hoo ha! Time to play "People Swanky can Beat"

Could I beat up Toy Monster?
A.Yes.
B.Yes.
C.Yes.
D.Yes.
Correct!
Could I kick that Krow's derrière?
A.Yes.
B.Yes.
C.Yes.
D.Yes.
Yep!
Can I totally mop the floor with that stupid Funky Kong?
A. Bring.
B. It.
C. On.
D. Dweeb.
Uh-huh uh-huh.


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Sup kids, I'm Swanky Kong. People love to play my games, you know it's true! I even like to play'em too! You could call me a connoisseur of all sorts of entertainment.
That's why I'm joining the wrestling scene!
Now I ain't a fighter but you better know I'm better than the best of the best.
I got five rings and I'm looking to get another baby!
​
 
So, you want a Donkey Kong character? No. I can see it. You want a Donkey Kong character that is from an amusement park. Behold. I bring you King Zing.
King_Zing.png

He is the boss of Krazy Kremland, but this place is also called Kremland Amusement Park. Perfect for Team Amusement Parks.

In terms of abilities, he can fly so it will be hard to beat him if you can't fly. He can also shoot of stingers. If you want more about him, be sure to check out King Zing.

By the way, I have an idea for beaches as well, but since I am not supporting Team Beaches, I will just give you this just in case. I mean, the area where it is from is called Beach. I am talking about Squiddicus. That is all I will say. But I am more supportive for an Amusement Part for Team Amusement Parks.
 
Donkey Kong, eh? Alright, it's rather obligatory that I nominate Colonel Plu- What? What do you mean I already did that? Well, who cares! I'm doing it agai-
Oh. He's still in the hospital after Robot Monster Troopa absolutely obliterated him.

Oooooookay, in keeping with the summer vibe, I will be nominating the Scurvy Crew, also known as the Pinchin' Pirates!

Now I know what you're thinking. "Mags, aren't you a little bit biased towards this game?" And the answer would be YES, absolutely. Although if you aren't thinking that, you might be wondering, "They're crabs. What can they do?" Well, I'm glad you asked!
You see, most of their crustacean comrades would crack under the pressure of facing off against simians as strong as the Kongs. But not these guys. They're clearly sturdier than their counterparts. Plus, when things get tough, they join forces and become an unstoppable tower of terror! Additionally, they each have their own natural defenses, namely hooks and forks and swords galore (Wait, those aren't exactly natural, are they?). And if all that doesn't convince you, let's not forget that these guys are pirates. That instantly adds two things to their arsenal: fierce fighting skills and a ship. A massive pirate ship! Imagine the destruction, even if it was only used for some sort of battle entrance!
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And I'm going to drop a second nomination. This guy:
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I mean, come on. It's Donkey Kong themed. You gotta have SOME sort of DK Crew rep! I don't think I need to go over his kit, so I'll just point you to five Super Smash Bros. games, the Donkey Kong series, and Punch Out!!.

And one last quick nominee, Mole Miner Max and the Mole Miners on the Mole Train. I've already gone over what makes them interesting, so do what you will with that.

Whether or not any of these get in, I'm looking forward to this next bout!
 
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Ha! Is that the best you can come up with? You're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for nominations here! Why, I could take on all of those whippersnappers by myself with one hand tied behind my back and still come out on top!

You know, back in my day, we had REAL fighters, none of this nonsense you all came up with! King Zing? Chum Chucker Charlie? SWANKY KONG? HA! And what's with all those votes for that obnoxious Funky Kong? You kids think that just because someone shows up in a game with fancy graphics they'd make for an entertaining fight! Where's the love for cement tub? Now that's a foe that'll give you a hard time! Tripped up that old Mario many times, it did! Heh heh!

Okay Cranky, thank you for that commentary, uh, generously provided without even being asked. Anyway, if you haven't stopped reading yet, input on Issue 184 is officially closed! Be sure to read the issue to find out who got in.
 
Input for Issue 185 is now open! No theme because we've done themes two months in a row and also I'm out of ideas.

If you'd prefer not to nominate a fighter, you can vote for one of these by leaving a reaction on this post. Making full posts in support of one of these candidates is also welcome!
  • Axem Rangers - They fight for evil! They live for disorder! They like what they do! They struggle for chaos! They are... potentially in the next Smackdown match. It's going to take a tough contender to defeat these five axe-wielding menaces! If you'd like to see the Axem Rangers in the next match, react with Wow (😮).
  • Egyptian Koopa - No copyright infringement of Tutankoopa intended, probably. With a set of enchanted obelisks at his disposal, he can magically shrink his opponents and weaken them! Or, uh, inadvertently increase their size and make them stronger instead, but that probably won't happen, right? If you'd like to see Egyptian Koopa in the next match, react with Thinking (🤔).
  • Metal Mario - He may have gotten his wiki article merged but he's still a unique character in our hearts. He's got Mario's whole moveset from 64, but a lot heavier and clangier! Clang. Clang clang. If you'd like to see Metal Mario in the next match, react with Angry (😠).

(if you want to increase your nomination's chances of being picked sign up for at least one awards presentation)
 
OK. So.
This might seem like a joke entry but it's not, I swear.

Can we please get some sort of LEGO action here.

Seriously.

Literally any of the characters who exist as LEGO characters from the LEGO Mario series. I mean, yes they're very small compared to most people, but we could just upscale them for the sake of the fight (let's assume you have access to a factory's worth of LEGOs). Because I just think it would be really cool to see that new The Might Bowser set in giant form duking it out with a Blargg or something. (Bowser punches, the Blargg's lava melts some of the plastic, which consequently detaches and brand new LEGOs fly in to fix it.)

So yeah, some LEGO, if you please. (Heck we could just make this a full theme of its own lol.)
 
17-07-2022

Young Goombuigi and I continue to probe the characteristics of this most peculiar creature. Apparently endowed with the ability to speak, this creature found in the Star Valley, dubbed Monstar by the ever-clever and precocious young Goombuigi, does not appear to possess the ability to hold conversations at length. To date, its words have been limited to brief utterances as it attempts to warn us away. A defensive mechanism, perhaps?

More peculiar than its speech are its offensive capabilities. Yesterday, Monstar displayed an incredible power, light streaming from its body and inundating the laboratory, blinding the both of us. We could not get Monstar to repeat this behavior yesterday, but I arrived prepared today. I brought with me light-filtering goggles so I could safely observe Monstar's power in detail. To ensure Monstar again demonstrated this behavior, Young Goombuigi eagerly volunteered to enter Monstar's cage and approach until it reacted. He truly is an irreplaceable assistant! I could have almost mistaken his excitement when I removed his glasses and reminded him that Monstar might not repeat the behavior if it was intelligent enough to recognize the purpose of his glasses for shock!

The experiment was a resounding success! I was able to witness Monstar unleashing a series of stars in a manner reminiscent of the Star Storm item sold at the local convenience store. One star hit Young Goombuigi, but when he withdrew as the flash of light concluded, my examination showed him almost no worse for wear, save for a bruise under his cap and dilated pupils. I thought too, for a moment, that as I observed Monstar, I saw it split into a multitude of star-like creatures. I should like to send Young Goombuigi in again tomorrow, after Monstar has had an opportunity to rest, but, alas, the ethics board expressed to me clearly at the outset of the summer I am not to ask Young Goombuigi to participate in an experiment more than once a week.

We must discover more of this creature's capabilities, but I fear we do not possess the equipment needed in this laboratory, and the Toad Town Battle Lab will not answer my calls.

However, I believe a solution may be at hand! I have come to understand I may send this specimen to an entertainer in the martial arts. Should this Waluigi Time return my correspondence, this "Mushroom Kingdom Smackdown" may be the ideal arena in which Monstar's capabilities may be tested and observed.

---W. P. Hoodington
 
What's Smackdown? I only know the hit forum game Awards Killing Game: Odyssey

Input on Issue 185 is closed! Thank you for your participation and be sure to read the new issue! But until then, be sure to check out the Mario Awards ceremony on August 12th, and if you're interested, there's still a little time to sign up for Awards presentations (until August 5th to be exact)!
 
Input for Issue 186 is now open until September 3rd! Still sticking with no theme for the time being. Everything goes!

If you'd prefer not to nominate a fighter, you can vote for one of these by leaving a reaction on this post. Making full posts in support of one of these candidates is also welcome and will increase their chances!
  • Friendly Floyd - With a suitcase full of stuff he's trying to sell to you, he's got a mysterious and practically endless amount of tricks up his sleeves that I can make up completely! If you'd like to see Friendly Floyd in the next match, react with Wow (😮).
  • Funky Kong - He didn't quite get into July's match, but the funky monkey had a lot of support before! Is it time for a New Funky Mode? If you'd like to see Funky Kong in the next match, react with Thinking (🤔).
  • Prince Bully - He's not going to let his opponent push him around! Well, maybe. It'll probably happen anyway. But this tough foe can even spit fire! If you'd like to see Prince Bully in the next match, react with Angry (😠).
 
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Waluigi Time, my sugar-scraping silverware! You ain't avoiding your good friend, are you? Listen, listen. I get it. The "get in the ring yourself" idea, it's not a winner. That's fine. Your old pal Honio hasn't had it easy. The sting of rejection sticks to me like that rotten mayonnaise smell sticks to you. But look, between you and me, we know this little show's starting to fall out with the people. Yeah, that's right. I'm hearing what they're saying. It's too predictable. The showmanship is leaking out faster than you can spend one-hundred gold ones at a beachside carnival. I know it. The people know it. You know it. You had a toy in the ring! A toy!

You need someone who will put on a real show in that ring. You need someone with razzle dazzle without any of those special effects. And your old friend Honio? I need some more cash quick. That vacation swiped everything from my wallet. You read me?

Friends and all that we are, and me never having steered you wrong before, we've got what we need. Ink it, dry it, because you're not going to find a single better star in the ring this month than Groove Guy!

That's right, Waluigi Time, my tower-trotter, put someone in the ring who knows how to perform! What can he do? What can he do? He can dance! He can tell jokes! He can juggle! Ehhh, or maybe just that first one. There's too many of these masked theater types to keep track. What I do know is this Groove Guy can give you such dazzle and razzle that it'll leave your head spinning! You've never seen someone dance around their competition so fast it leaves their world spinning! He does a little dance, and then boom bam bassa boom, he goes in for the dash attack to knock out the competition! Call that a KO Blow Show! No, really, call it that. Put it on your sign, and don't forget to give your old friend a check for marketing!

Just between you and me, I hear there's also an extra dance here that can call more Groove Guys. Calling in support ain't against the rules, is it? Wuzzat? It might be? Then you have yourself a heel! Have him call in an illegal tag-in to finish off the rout! It'll be an upset! It'll get the crowd booing! Sell them some old cans and bricks to throw!

Now, I know what you're thinking. This guy looks like he'd crumple faster than a Paper Goomba. Au contraire, my awards results-losing pinnacle of commerce. All that fancy footwork means this spotlight-maker is a master of dodging. Watch him flip! Watch him twirl! Pull him into a recording studio after the match and have him record a jazzercise - or whatever the kids are into these days - video you can sell so the crowds can learn his moves at home!

I got one more tip for you, Waluigi Time, shunner of syrup, you. Bill the fight as some kind of "dramatic one-act" experience! Do that, and make a call to that Sal. T Thespian. Get him in the audience, and let him put down a few words about your little show. It ain't his usual fare, but what'll he know? Let him trash it! Take it from me. There's no such thing as bad publicity. Does it hurt you if a few angry old theater fans come packing in the seats next month to boo you? No.

See, we've still got it together. Now throw this Groove Guy in there against your funky ape. He's charging me by the hour just for showing up here to dance for you!
 
Delve with me into the mysterious dimension of little-known characters, and further still into a planet that is glitchy, faded, and populated by all the forgotten characters abandoned almost entirely by not only the community, but even the game developers themselves. Travel with me to the planet of Unused Characters.

Between the unnamed insect-like creatures, abandoned Goomba variants, green Jevil-like characters, fairy ladders, and ghosts of chefs from decades past, we find a character who, unlike all the previously mentioned, was not scrapped alone. This character was not the only thing from his game to be unused. He is, in fact, one of the sad souls to come from a game that was never released. Very few pictures of him exist (I could only find the one) and thus many liberties must be taken to not only get him in Mushroom Kingdom Smackdown, but to discover what his full capabilities are as well. Here we find what could have been one of the stranger members of the DK Crew...

Redneck Kong.

Originating from the scrapped Diddy Kong Pilot, Redneck Kong could posses a wide array of moves, such as the usual up-close in your face moves like most Kongs, or perhaps piloting a tractor-plane of some sort around. Only the developers really know what he is truly capable of.

In any case, this is possibly my most interesting, confusing, and least-likely-to-succeed nomination. (Although... not gonna lie, I would LOVE to see a theme month where the focus is on scrapped characters.) Excited for MKS as always!
 
Input for Issue 187 is now open until October 1st! I may not be decked out in my mad scientist costume yet, but I'm still holding you all to being extra spooky with your nominations this month!

If you'd prefer not to nominate a fighter, you can vote for one of these by leaving a reaction on this post. Making full posts in support of one of these candidates is also welcome and will increase their chances!
  • Count Bleck - Bleh heh heh, BLECK! He counts for this theme. Get it? Count? He's got a wealth of dark magic at his disposal, he can fly, he can teleport, and he can kickstart the apocalypse. Don't worry about the semantics of pulling someone who's long dead for this, we'll take care of it. If you'd like to see Count Bleck in the next match, react with Wow (😮).
  • Mr. I - Now now, don't roll your eyes just yet! He can roll around, he can shoot lasers, he can... be kind of gross, actually, and he'll make his opponent cry! If you'd like to see Mr. I in the next match, react with Thinking (🤔).
  • Phantom of the Bwahpera - A ghostly opera singer? Sure, why not! Unlike most of the spooks around here, he's invulnerable in the light! Gotta take out those spotlights first if you want to attack him. He might even sing a song! Well, probably not on that last one... If you'd like to see Phantom of the Bwahpera in the next match, react with Angry (😠).
 
Haaaaaaaa.... Hooooooh... Hooooooowwwf...

Waluigi Time, my gilded corporate climber, oh, you're just the old pal I wanted to see. You lock your office doors, right? Wait, wait, never mind all that. Waluigi Time, my mayonnaise-clogged dishwasher, all of our troubles are over. What's that look? You don't believe me? You say you aren't in any trouble? I don't believe it. I don't believe it one bit! You're in bigger trouble than you think. Spooky season's approaching, and all you've got lined up are... what? A wannabe Romeo who threw a worlds-ending tantrum? A haunted phonograph? Waluigi Time, pal, that's cliche as they come. Now this, this is why we're a team. I scratch your back, you scratch mine. And I got a bad itch this month, so how's about we scratch hard, capiche?

Feast your eyes on YOUR NEW SPOOKTASTIC STAR!

Cortez.png



That's right, my Oops-All-Purple Lucky Charm, I've brought you the dread pirate-
Dreaded pirate?
King pirate?
Dread king?

Ahhh, forget it. He's a ghost. He's a pirate. He's Cortez, and, between you and me, he's sure to fill your seats, Amee-goh. Yeah, that's right. I'm learning a little mult-ee-culturalism from him. Your pal Honio's a learned turtle now, and I've got a hot tip from a Ratooey down in Rogueport that a little learning goes a long way when you're drawing crowds from a new market. Ya catch my drift?

Course you do! That's why you're the one on the edge of the ring. Now, since we're pals and all, I don't mind cutting you in on a secret. I took some intense negotiating with some pompous pants-quaker to get Cortez out here. I did what I could, but you'll just have to eat those big bucks if you want pizzazz for the ghouls and goblins putting butts in your seats.

'Course, your old pal wouldn't leave you high and dry! Your old pal needs you to make enough to pay his commission, get it? Spectacle, Cortez brings in spades. What'cha want? You want to see a bone dragon with a super-charging gem in his chest? You want to see a bone pirate wielding four weapons at once? You want a floating head with four possessed weapons chomping down on you? Waluigi Time, big top with the big hat, pal, if this were one of them vidyo games, this pirate would be grade-A final boss material. This might be your first multi-round match! He takes a pummeling and gets right back up! You can't really trounce a ghost, am I right, or am I right? He'll bite you, he'll pierce you, he'll stab you, and if you try and get close, he'll switch his form up so you can't hit him or he'll send one of those weapons at you!

But, hey, I'm no stranger to "accidents," so I gotta warn you, friend-to-friend, you've gotta put a waiver in the ticket sales. Fancy-pants muttered some line about "absorbing the souls of spectators." You've got damage control under control, right? Sure you do! That cereal company's got the best PR team I've ever seen - me left out of the running. If they complain, give 'em, uhhhh, a free Ember to take home as a pet or something. Hear this guy commands them and can summon them to fight for him or something.

And, old pal, before I go, don't be alarmed when you come into the office tomorrow and see me waitin' for you. See, speaking of accidents, I had a little one. There was this misunderstanding, see. Some goons from the Happy Lucky Lottery are accusing me - me, can you believe it - of... shall we say, finnesing the clock. Don't you worry about your old pal Honio, though. I told them you were good for paying to get my collateral back. No, I'm not putting you on the hook! That cuts deep. Oh, that hurts. Look, they've got agents in my house, but I've got a plan. I'll have a fighter lined up for you next month who'll sweep all of these troubles under the table. 'Till then, I'm sleeping under your desk. Any suspicious Bob-ombs turn up asking for you?

...don't answer. Get that rabbit of yours to turn them away. Trust your old pal on this one.
 
Input for Issue 188 is now open until October 29th! No theme this month.

If you'd prefer not to nominate a fighter, you can vote for one of these by leaving a reaction on this post. Making full posts in support of one of these candidates is also welcome and will increase their chances!
  • Penguin - Okay, so maybe I'm a little inspired by that teaser trailer... The power of the Penguin will leave any opponent chilled! They can slide around, throw snowballs, and other stuff maybe. And it's not a baby, so you can't just pick them up and drop them over the edge of the ring like a heartless monster. If you'd like to see Penguin in the next match, react with Wow (😮).
  • Rabbid Mario/Rabbid Luigi/Rabbid Peach/Rabbid Yoshi - By the time the issue goes up, these guys will have a new game! ...Except Rabbid Yoshi. Sucks to be him, I guess. We're even letting them fight as a team of four! What shenanigans might they get up to? If you'd like to see the Rabbids in the next match, react with Thinking (🤔).
  • Steamer - I got a stupid idea and couldn't not throw it in, okay? It's a train. I don't think I have to elaborate on this concept. If you'd like to see Steamer in the next match, react with Angry (😠).
 
You know who's a good choice for this smackdown?

This guy!

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That's right, fellas! The grand owner of the weapon factory and ruler of the weapon dimension himself! He wields a big hammer in battle to crush his opponents, who have to succumb to the concussion. For more pain, he can summon a giant sledge to turn them into pulp, and then he can use magic attacks like Meteor Swarm and Mega Drain. He's a tough opponent, and it's hard to beat him!
 
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