Dear Bowser

Dear Bowser,

Clearly, your kingdom is in a much better state than Peach's. The Toads do nothing all day until something bad happens, then they scream and run around in circles. The Koopa Troop, on the other hand, is actually productive and makes things happen. So, what changes do you plan to make when you inevitably crush Mario and conquer the Mushroom Kingdom?

Waluigi Time
 
Dear Bowser,

Your army is powerful, as is mine. I believe that with both of our armies combined, we can take over the world! How does that sound? Two armies can be a real pain in the fanny! Get back to me on this and I will come up with some plans.

Your future benevolent partner,
Dr. Ivo Robotnik
 
Dear Bowser,

Ignore that fool, for I am the REAL DR. EGGMAN! You can tell as I abandoned that "Robotnik" name eons ago! I have actually come here to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, and your Kingdom while I am at it. Please get back to me with your biggest weakness's so I can have the easiest time taking over your domain.

Your future mortal enemy,
Dr. "Ivo Robotnik" (EGGMAN)
 
Dearest Bowser,
You haven't called home in a while, so I'm just writing to you to check in. I'm glad to hear that you have started to take your literacy skills more seriously by reading and writing letters to your new pen pals. It sounds like that princess girl has been a good influence on you. When will you next come to visit?
Love, Granny
 
Dear Bowser,
What relation, if any, do you have to King Koopa?
-Magolor04726

Dear Bowser,
Assume someone wanted to take a trip to the Mushroom Kingdom. What are the chances that person would be allowed to visit your castle, interview your minions, and possibly join the Koopa Troop for a small amount of time to "get the feeling?"
-Mags
 
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Hey Bowser, Scott here!

Hey, I wanted to know your secret to having an army. How do you maintain it? See, I'm asking because I want to have my own army of Madden '08 Fanboys. How do you start an army?

-Scott Wozniak
 
hai bozer
kek ur win strek against plumbr scrub is bottom frag. dude u shud try bhop at 30 tick thatll help or else mushroom kingdom alwayz votekick u since plumber scrub aces ur newb koopa team even if afk. doznt help that his bro does kill assist and gank rly gewd so hes srsbsns. im glad u dont mess w/ me cuz lok @ what dk did he gets headshot noscope all the time lmao but l2p plz

gg wp
Mini Mario
 
Dear Bowser,
What are your thoughts on the circulating rumors regarding the death of Mario?
-Mags
 
Dear Bowser,

For years, many (mostly myself) have been wondering about the existence of your blue-colored brother. Who is he? Where is he now? Is he even real? I'm desperate to know.

- Your loyal minion
 
Dear Bowser,

It's me, DK. There's a certain kids show on tv that's been bugging me and the other Kongs lately. Can you help me find a way to fix my set so that it no longer plays that show?

Sincerely, Donkey Kong.
 
Browser-
You promised you would mow my lawn 33 years, 1 month, 29 days, 4 hours, 19 minutes and 29 seconds ago! You never did! I expected more from you, you whippersnapper!
-Old Man Kuzzle

See, it's, it's funny because he lives on the beach, and also Bowser can't jump horizontally so he never would have been able to meet Kuzzle.
 
Dear Bowser,

I am a great and powerful king in a dark, lava-filled kingdom. For many years, my loyal adviser, who even cared for me when I was a child, has seen to it that my every need was fulfilled without once complaining or requesting a day off. An unparalleled mage who puts up with me even when I come up with half-finished plans and am trounced by my rival, my adviser has recently been asked to watch my high-energy son for most of the day while I go off and leave the castle to be covered in graffiti. My plans would never work were it not for his experience and magical skill, so I've been wondering if I should give him a reward for his lifetime of loyal service. What would you recommend? A paid week at a beach resort with a deep-shell cleaning and foot massage? Maybe a feast and parade in honor of his loyalty and dedication? A statue erected in his honor in the main hall of the castle? Surely, you, great King Bowser Koopa, regularly provide your most valuable minion with gifts like these.

Sincerely, the Game Mage.
 
Hey, Bowser!

It's-a me! Mario! Wahoo! And I'm-a just writing you to let you-a know that even though I-a know you've kidnapped the princess again-a, you're still invited to the kart-a racing tournament im-a hosting! Wahoo!

-Mario
 
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Dear Bowser,

My name is MightyMario. I'm a huge fan of you and the Koopa Troop. Is there a way for me to support the Koopas in Super Mario Maker?

Yours truly,

MightyMario
 
Yo Bowser,
You're hot stuff, dude. Can you tell Twila that what she represents is a dead rock? I know your lava doesn't match anywhere NEAR the glory of the sun, but the moon has no lava whatsoever. I think that Star Bank Mario talks about is a super dumb idea, too! And you should let him know that cuz the moon still sucks.

Brighton, the Incandescent Dude of Daytime

P.S. The sun is better than the moon.
 
H-h-hey, you! Yeah, you! Bowser! With the shell!

H-Hello, Bowser. I-I'm writing b-because....WAUGH!!! You're too scary! Why are you so scary?! Can you be less scary?!

-Green 'Stache
-Luigi
 
Dear Bowser,

If you do not pay off your loans, we will have to evict you from your Koopa Castle. Unless you can repay us by answering some questions.
First, what are your thoughts on Hotel Mario? Do all toasters really toast toast? Are you gullible? Who's your least favorite minion? And what's your net worth?

Sincerely, Tom Nook.
 
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