How Would You Rank The Mario Kart Wii Vehicles?

Greninja The Mario Karter

Greninja the Water/Dark Ninja
Pronouns
He, Him, His
What is your ranking for the thirty six Mario Kart Wii vehicles. Here is mine.
F Tier (Bad) Vehicles
F Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

First up is F tier. These are the worst vehicles in the entire game, and there are two vehicles in this tier, making it the smallest tier.
Number 36: Bit Bike (Small Outside Drift Bike)
BitBike-KoopaTroopa.png

The only good thing about this vehicle is how it looks. The Bit Bike is the slowest vehicle in the game with a speed stat of 25/80, and that means you will struggle to keep up with other vehicles. Not to mention it's the second lightest vehicle in the game behind the Quacker, which is a small inside drift bike, with a weight stat of 18/80. It gets pushed around like crazy. It doesn't even make up for it that much with other stats. It would be worse if it were a kart, but outside drift bikes are the worst type of vehicle in Mario Kart Wii.
Number 35: Booster Seat (Small Kart)
BoosterSeat-BabyPeach.png

Because the Booster Seat is a kart, it's slightly faster with a speed stat of 27/80, and it's significantly heavier with a weight stat of 27/80 (the same weight as the Jet Bubble, the heaviest small bike in the game that is a small inside drift bike), but it's still the slowest kart in the game, as well as the second lightest kart in the game behind the Cheep Charger.
E Tier (Mediocre) Vehicles
E Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

The second tier is E tier. These vehicles are mediocre, and I wouldn't use them too often. There are four entries in this tier.
Number 34: Cheep Charger (Small Kart)
CheepCharger-Toad.png

The Cheep Charger has solid stats. It takes nice turns and has really high acceleration, but it sucks with the two most important stats: speed and weight. It's a slow kart with a speed stat of 34/80 (the same speed as Daytripper, which is a medium kart), and it's also the lightest kart in the game with a weight stat of 24/80 (the same weight as the Bullet Bike and Magikruiser, both of which are small inside drift bikes).
Number 33: Zip Zip (Medium Outside Drift Bike)
ZipZip-DiddyKong.png

The first medium vehicle on this list, the Zip Zip has a low drift stat of 29/80 (the same drift stat as the Spear and Tiny Titan, which are a large inside drift bike and a small kart respectively).
Number 32: Sugarscoot (Medium Outside Drift Bike)
Sugarscoot-Birdo.png

The Sugarscoot is bad in the three most important stats: speed, weight, and drift. It is the slowest and lightest medium vehicle in the game with a speed stat of 32/80 (tied with the Quacker) and a weight stat of 32/80 (tied with the Mini Beast). The Tiny Titan, a small kart, is actually heavier than this bike.
Number 31: Daytripper (Medium Kart)
Daytripper-Peach.png

The Daytripper doesn't have a bad weight stat, but it is the slowest medium kart in the game with a speed stat of 34/80 (tied with the Cheep Charger). It also has a drift stat of 32/80.
D Tier (Average) Vehicles
D Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

Third is D tier. This tier consists of average vehicles. There are nine vehicles in this tier, making it the largest tier.
Number 30: Classic Dragster (Medium Kart)
ClassicDragster-Yoshi.png

The Classic Dragster excels with its acceleration, handling, and drift, but it's pretty slow with a speed stat of 37/80 (tied with the Wario Bike).
Number 29: Sprinter (Medium Kart)
Sprinter-Luigi.png

The Sprinter is the fastest medium vehicle in the game with a speed stat of 64/80, and it's also the second heaviest medium vehicle in the game behind the Wild Wing with a weight stat of 48/80 (tied with the Shooting Star). However, it accelerates slowly, and it has the worst handling, off-road, and mini-turbo among all medium vehicles in the game.
Number 28: Wario Bike (Large Outside Drift Bike)
WarioBike-Wario.png

The Wario Bike is the first large vehicle on the list, and it's the slowest large vehicle in the game with a speed stat of 37/80, and it has a terrible drift stat of 21/80 (tied with the Super Blooper).
Number 27: Phantom (Large Outside Drift Bike)
Phantom-KingBoo.png

Just above the Wario Bike is the Phantom. This vehicle isn't bad, but it has the worst drift in the game with a drift stat of17/80. However, it's faster than the Wario Bike with a speed stat of 43/80, and it has the best off-road among all large vehicles with an off-road stat of 56/80.
Number 26: Offroader (Large Kart)
Offroader-DonkeyKong.png

This is slightly heavier than the Wario Bike, and it's slightly faster, but it has a terrible drift stat, it's the slowest large kart in the game, and it only has average off-road.
Number 25: Jetsetter (Large Kart)
Jetsetter-FunkyKong.png

This vehicle is a better version of the Sprinter, as it is the fastest vehicle in the game with a speed stat of 69/80, and it has a weight stat of 56/80 (tied with the Spear). However, it has the worst handling, off-road, and mini-turbo in the game, making it a mediocre vehicle.
Number 24: Standard Bike S (Small Outside Drift Bike)
StandardBikeS-BabyMario.png

As a Standard Bike, it doesn't do anything particularly good or bad, but it has a weight stat of 21/80. Also, it's an outside drift bike.
Number 23: Standard Kart S (Small Kart)
StandardKartS-BabyMario.png

The Standard Kart S gets an advantage over its bike counterpart for being faster and heavier.
Number 22: Tiny Titan (Small Kart)
TinyTitan-BabyLuigi.png

The Tiny Titan is the heaviest small vehicle in the game with a weight stat of 35/80, meaning it doesn't get pushed around as easily. It also has the best off-road among all karts in the game, with an off-road stat of 64/80. It also has a decent speed stat of 46/80.
C Tier (Decent) Vehicles
C Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

Fourth is C tier. Vehicles in this tier are decent, and there are three entries in this tier.
Number 21: Blue Falcon (Small Kart)

BlueFalcon-BabyMario.png

The Blue Falcon is the second best small kart in the game with a great speed stat of 60/80 and a decent drift stat of 43/80. Unfortunately, it has a weight stat of 29/80.
Number 20: Quacker (Small Inside Drift Bike)
Quacker-Toad.png

The first inside drift bike on this list, the Quacker has the best acceleration in the game with an acceleration stat of 67/80. However, it's the lightest vehicle in the game with a weight stat of 17/80. Inside drift bikes are the best type of vehicle in the game, but this is the weakest inside drift bike.
Number 19: Mini Beast (Small Kart)
MiniBeast-BabyDaisy.png

The best small kart in the game, the Mini Beast is basically the Blue Falcon, but heavier and with better drift and mini-turbo. In fact, it has the best drift and mini-turbo among all karts in the game, and it's also the second heaviest small vehicle in the game behind the Tiny Titan.
B Tier (Good) Vehicles
B Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

This is where we start to get into the good stuff. Fifth is B tier, which consists of good vehicles. There are six entries in this tier.
Number 18: Standard Bike M (Medium Outside Drift Bike)
StandardBikeM-BowserJr.png

The Standard Bike M is as average as you get for bikes.
Number 17: Standard Kart M (Medium Kart)
StandardKartM-Mario.png

Again, the Standard Kart M gets an advantage over its kart counterpart for being faster and heavier.
Number 16: Standard Bike L (Large Outside Drift Bike)
StandardBikeL-Bowser.png

It's basically the Standard Bike M, but faster and heavier.
Number 15: Standard Kart L (Large Kart)
StandardKartL-Rosalina.png

Once again, the Standard Kart L gets an advantage over its bike counterpart for being faster and heavier.
Number 14: Shooting Star (Outside Drift Bike)
ShootingStar-Rosalina.png

Here is the best outside drift bike in the game. It has good speed and weight, as well as excellent drift and mini-turbo.
Number 13: Super Blooper (Medium Kart)
SuperBlooper-Luigi.png

The Super Blooper features good speed and off-road, but it has terrible drift and is the lightest medium kart in the game with a weight stat of 40/80.
A Tier (Great) Vehicles
A Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

Sixth is A tier. These vehicles are great, and I would use them often. There are seven vehicles in this tier.
Number 12: Jet Bubble (Small Inside Drift Bike)
JetBubble-BabyDaisy.png

The Jet Bubble is basically the Quacker, but faster and heavier.
Number 11: Piranha Prowler (Large Kart)
PiranhaProwler-FunkyKong.png

The Piranha Prowler is basically the Jetsetter, but with better stats overall. It is the heaviest vehicle in the game with a weight stat of 67/80.
Number 10: Dolphin Dasher (Medium Inside Drift Bike)
DolphinDasher-Mario.png

The Dolphin Dasher is the Super Blooper in the form of an inside drift bike. It's also the heaviest medium bike in the game with a weight stat of 43/80.
Number 9: Magikruiser
Magikruiser-Toadette.png

The Magikruiser is the bike version of the Tiny Titan, and it has the best off-road in the game.
Number 8: Sneakster (Medium Inside Drift Bike)
Sneakster-Daisy.png

The Sneakster is the fastest medium bike in the game, and its other stats are mediocre to bad, it's it's otherwise a good vehicle.
Number 7: Wild Wing (Medium Kart)
WildWing-Mario.png

The best medium kart in the game, it's basically the Sprinter, but it's heavier and has better drift and mini-turbo.
Number 6: Honeycoupe (Large Kart)
Honeycoupe-Rosalina.png

The Honeycoupe is basically one of the two large versions of the Wild Wing. It's even heavier then the Wild Wing, allowing it to push around other vehicles.
S Tier (Amazing)
S Rank - Sonic Adventure 2.png

Last but not least is S tier. These are the best vehicles in the game, and there are five entries.
Number 5: Flame Flyer (Large Kart)
FlameFlyer-Waluigi.png

The Flame Flyer is the Wild Wing and Honeycoupe, but faster.
Number 4: Bullet Bike (Small Inside Drift Bike)
BulletBike-DryBones.png

The Bullet Bike is the best small vehicle in the game due to having the best drift and mini-turbo in the game and being fast. However, it's pretty light, making it easy to push around.
Number 3: Mach Bike (Medium Inside Drift Bike)
MachBike-Daisy.png

The Mach Bike is basically the medium version of the Bullet Bike. It gets an advantage for being faster and heavier.
Number 2: Spear (Large Inside Drift Bike)
Spear-FunkyKong.png

The Spear beats out the Mach Bike for being the fastest bike in the game and the second heaviest bike. However, the drift stat holds it back.
Number 1: Flame Runner (Large Inside Drift Bike)
FlameRunner-FunkyKong.png

Undoubtedly the best bike in the game, the Flame Runner combines great speed and good weight with good drift and mini-turbo, making it the most versatile vehicle in the game.
 
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Wild Wing has the best design so therefore it's the best kart.

I do like the Honeycoupe and Tiny Titan though.
 
Wild Wing has the best design so therefore it's the best kart.

I do like the Honeycoupe and Tiny Titan though.

I would put the Wild Wing, Jetsetter, Sprinter, Phantom, Honeycoupe, Tiny Titan, Blue Falcon, and Flame Flyer near the top if I were to rank the vehicles by design. However, I rank them by stats and how useful I find them to be.
 
As a vindictive person, I remember dialing up Mario Kart Wii to be 300cc and the high speed vehicles instantly became as useful as lemons because you rarely reach top speed to drift at all.
 
While rankings between vehicles are speculative between individuals, I do tend to base mine on overall statistics between vehicles, and how well they can handle most tracks on 150cc. The big 5 is self-explanatory.
  • Bullet Bike
  • Magikruiser
  • Mach Bike
  • Dolphin Dasher
  • Flame Runner
However, things do get trickier for the other vehicles, since while speed may be an important stat, you need to look at the other stats as well. And unfortunately for the Jetsetter, being the fastest vehicle in the game can only get you so far when the rest of its stats (excluding weight) are very bad. Good luck trying to maintain that top speed on any track that throws out a lot of sharp turns.

In contrast, the Quacker has among the best overall stats of any bike, which enables it to overcome almost any kind of track obstacle. But being the lightest vehicle in the game, and having below average speed, does put it at a disadvantage in crowds. And it also means that even when you perfectly overcome all the track obstacles, holding onto 1st place is not guaranteed against faster opposition.
 
My ranking for the stats from least important to most important:

7th: Handling. This stat barely matters, since you will be drifting most of the time while turning.

6th: Off-Road. This stat comes in handy if you get knocked off-road, but if you use a heavy vehicle, you're less likely to get knocked into the off-road.

5th: Acceleration. This stat doesn't matter much, since standstill mini-turbos exist.

4th: Mini-Turbo. This stat gives you a speed boost if you drift, and it may come in handy.

3rd: Drift. This stat is important because a high drift stat allows you to make sharp turns while drifting, while a low drift stat means you'll drift in a wide arc.

2nd: Weight. This stat is important because you don't want to get pushed around if you are in crowds. A high weight stat allows you to push around lighter vehicles. If you have a low weight stat, you'll have to be extremely careful and try to distance yourself from groups.

1st: Speed. Undoubtedly the most important stat. This stat alone may not guarantee a good vehicle since you have to take other stats into account, but a high speed stat means that if you are good at using the vehicle, you can wipe the floor with your rivals. Inversely, a low speed stat means you will struggle to keep up with others.
 
5th: Acceleration. This stat doesn't matter much, since standstill mini-turbos exist.
The standstill mini-turbo existing does in fact somewhat negate the need for acceleration, yes. But the standstill still takes a moment to charge compared to a high acceleration stat. If you look at the Classic Dragster's acceleration, it takes only about a second to reach top speed using pure acceleration. If you use a standstill mini-turbo, it takes about 2-3 times as long from the start of the charge to the instant you reach top speed.
 
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