Koopa Klaus

Koopa Klaus

Taking The Khrist Out Of Khristmas Since 1989 26
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  • Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Home Alone:

    Statler: You know, when I first saw this movie in theaters, I wanted to be Macaulay Culkin.
    Waldorf: Why?
    Statler: I always wanted to experience my self centered and dumb family leaving me at home for the holidays, having the entire house to myself, and beating a couple of wet bandits with a series of traps straight out of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.
    Waldorf: You know where you can experience all of that?
    Statler: Where?
    Waldorf: By starring in The Muppet Show.

    Hohohohohohoho!

    (Statler silently glares at the screen)
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Independence Day (1996):

    Statler: Do you suppose they have life on other planets?
    Waldorf: Why do you care? You don't have any life on this one.

    Hohohohohohoho!

    (Statler smacks Waldorf in the face)
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Snow White and the Huntsman:

    Waldorf: This movie was terrible! I didn't like it!
    Statler: Me neither. Whoever wrote the screenplay for this movie must've gotten Snow White confused with Katniss Everdeen.
    Waldorf: They musta been reading The Hunger Games instead of the original fairy tale by the Grimm Brothers.
    Statler: No surprise. Things can get pretty Grimm if you Hunger for some Games.

    Hohohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Grand Theft Auto III:

    Statler: That Claude fella changed sides more often than I change my underwear.
    Waldorf: I always knew something smelled off about you.

    Hohohohohohoho!

    Statler: Don't heckle me, you old fool! Heckle the makers of this game!
    Waldorf: Is that your nose or did a chili pepper grow out of your face?
    Statler: I give up...
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Red Dead Redemption 2:

    Waldorf: I think this game teaches people a valuable lesson.
    Statler: Yeah, that years of trust can be broken within a matter of months when you let an adult version of Dennis the Menace into your group.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Willy's Wonderland:

    Statler: Is this supposed to be that Five Nights At Freddy's hoopla the kids have been talking about?
    Waldorf: Well, they certainly won't last one night with Nicholas Cage.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on The Thirteenth Year:

    Waldorf: Have I said that this film was written by wet bandits?
    Statler: I don't know, that sounds a bit fishy to me.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Big Time Rush:

    Statler: This show is fantastic!
    Waldorf: Yeah, how about that boyband the main characters are in?
    Statler: Well, make it into a manly tire and drive it to Pittsburgh.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Kamp Koral: Spongebob's Under Years:

    Statler: I'm gonna go to the dentist.
    Waldorf: Right now?
    Statler: Sure! After watching this show, nothing hurts!

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Good Lord, it's hot over here. I am definitely not built for temperatures over 20 degrees Celsius. 🥵
    SavK
    SavK
    It's 33 Celcius where I live (91.4 F for all you americans) and i'm (mostly) fine. It's crazy how people from different places are used to very different tempatures
    MegaBowser64
    MegaBowser64
    It's been about 32 celsius (or 90 F) the last week or so and I've been okay, however the humidity has been tough. But yeah, depending on where you're from, you can have very different reactions to different temperatures.
    Koopa Klaus
    Koopa Klaus
    @June I'm from the Netherlands, and usually the temperatures here range from anywhere between 10 degrees Celsius to 20 degrees Celsius. I'm warm blooded, and I can't really handle temperatures higher than 20 degrees Celsius as a result.
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Pixels:

    Waldorf: Just when you think this movie couldn't get any worse, something wonderful happens.
    Statler: Oh yeah? What's that?
    Waldorf: It ends.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Beverly Hillbillies:

    Waldorf: Aah, this one was a favorite of mine back in the day! Always loved those backwoods folks moving into the rich neighborhoods of Los Angeles and spreading the good ol' Southern charm!
    Statler: I agree. I just hope they won't Yankovic those responsible for the show.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Super Mario Sunshine:

    Statler: Nintendo's really trying to be the Sunshine in the Mario fandom's lives, aren't they?
    Waldorf: Well, they're not doing a good job at it, 'cause I'm feeling in my water that the Mario fandom isn't impressed.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    I can't be the only person who wants to be productive and work on their 'Shroom sections for July, but is too tired to write because of the warm summer weather.
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Full House:

    Waldorf: Aah, I can't get enough of the "widowed father raising three kids" trope of sitcoms. Those always play their cards well.
    Statler: Not well enough, I'd say. I've yet to see this show and its sequel play a Royal Flush.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Star Wars: The Acolyte:

    Waldorf: Here, catch! (Throws a life ring off the balcony)
    Statler: Ah, waste of time. Nothing will save this show.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:

    Waldorf: This show is the perfect mix of African-American hip-hop culture and upper class Californian culture. It's a cocktail that's sure to hit your tastebuds.
    Statler: Yeah, and it's sure to hit you in the face like a Smith hitting a Rock.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Sonic and the Black Knight:

    Statler: So that blue hedgehog has taken up the sword, huh?
    Waldorf: Well, it was only a matter of time before Sega realised that they had to sort out their problems with the story over gameplay branch of their fanbase.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Kermit's Swamp Years:

    Waldorf: Aah, nothing like the good old days when we were young and that silly frog wasn't running The Muppet Show.
    Statler: Yeah. Wish we could go back in time to convince the frog to never start The Muppet Show.

    Hohohohohohoho!

    (Kermit peeks out from between Waldorf and Statler's seats)

    Kermit: Don't count on it.
    Waldorf: Hey, can we see your ticket, fella?
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Disney's The Sword In The Stone:

    Statler: Hey, wake up, you old fool! You slept through the film!
    Waldorf: Who's a fool? You watched it.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on Nostalgia Critic:

    Statler: You know, I honestly see ourselves in this Nostalgia Critic fellow.
    Waldorf: Yeah, 'cause watching The Muppet Show every night is bound to drive us crazy like all of the terrible movies this guy has watched.
    Statler: Yeah, so I'm glad he'll remember those movies so we won't have to.
    Waldorf: Which movies?
    Statler: I forgot.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on How I Met Your Mother:

    Waldorf: Why did it take that fool Ted Mosby nine seasons to tell his kids how he met their mother?
    Statler: Because it's nine impossible to recover from a series finale as bad as this show had.

    Hohohohohohoho!
    Koopa Klaus
    Waldorf and Statler (The Muppet Show) on SuperMarioLogan:

    Waldorf: This show is like if you took The Happytime Murders and made it into a YouTube channel.
    Statler: I should say so. Personally, I don't care for puppets much. I don't find them believable.
    Waldorf: I don't believe you.

    Hohohohohohoho!
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