New Super Mario
Ghirahim
- Thread starter
- #126
New BIG chapter coming this week.
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Discord said:Yeah but the Eiffel Tower is kind of overused. Maybe you could use one of Paris's other famous landmarks...
David T. Darlton said:I have to applaud to you NSM for being able to juggle so many fics at once
Well it is fiction, it doesn't have to all be scientific and true.Discord said:If the hovercraft can travel to Cairo in 30 minutes - assuming one could actually build a hovercraft - then they would have to be traveling at 4,000 miles per hour. Somehow, I doubt a person can travel at that speed.
You randomly switch tense in the middle of the chapter, and how in the world could they track the theif? It doesn't make much sense.
Also, you used the word "had" three times in the first few sentences. I would suggest trying some different vocabulary.
If you read, Gallade made it, they didn't just find it. I understand that it has to make sense, but it's not that big of a deal. If everything was true, the story would be boring and not have enough action in it.Discord said:No, I won't take that excuse. Fiction doesn't have to be logical, but it has to make sense. And somehow I doubt that these characters are going to just happen to find a hovercraft that can travel 4,000 miles per hour on the streets of Paris.
Sarcasm much? You're making a big deal over something that isn't even important to the story, the travel.Discord said:Oh yes, I suppose I should mention that they were travelling at about 4 times the speed of the Earth's rotation.
But your right, the story doesn't actually have to make sense, because that would be stupid.
I appreciate it, it's just your tone kind of turns me off.Discord said:I'm not trying to make a big deal about it, I just want the author to actually bother doing research for once. I'm just trying to help you out.
New Super Mario said:I appreciate it, it's just your tone kind of turns me off.Discord said:I'm not trying to make a big deal about it, I just want the author to actually bother doing research for once. I'm just trying to help you out.
Huh?Fi said:New Super Mario said:I appreciate it, it's just your tone kind of turns me off.Discord said:I'm not trying to make a big deal about it, I just want the author to actually bother doing research for once. I'm just trying to help you out.
It's Nabber; it happens to be attached to his words.
Discord said:Huh?Fi said:New Super Mario said:I appreciate it, it's just your tone kind of turns me off.Discord said:I'm not trying to make a big deal about it, I just want the author to actually bother doing research for once. I'm just trying to help you out.
It's Nabber; it happens to be attached to his words.
Discord said:Of course my tone turns him off; I'm a critic, unless critics are praising a story then they always come off negative.
1. I guess it didn't make sense now that I think of it.Villetta Nu said:Review:
Why did they had to park the hovercraft far away from the pyramid, that just didn't make sense. Though there was progression in the story, it just felt like it was more of a filler than an actual chapter, excluding the evidence the guys found. Overall, kinda disappointing.
2/7