The Real Life Wiki - 28,000 VIEWS!

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    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Total voters
    11
Re: The Real Life Wiki

BananaYoshi said:
That one was quite good.
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Thank you.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Yoshidude still seems like a pathetically obvious Card-Carrying Villain. Also, you could have let Yoshiwaker dwell on his thoughts for a while longer, maybe 2-3 chapters, before he came to his revelation. However, this is still a decent chapter, not as good as the last one but not bad, not bad.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

twinArmageddons said:
Yoshidude still seems like a pathetically obvious Card-Carrying Villain. Also, you could have let Yoshiwaker dwell on his thoughts for a while longer, maybe 2-3 chapters, before he came to his revelation. However, this is still a decent chapter, not as good as the last one but not bad, not bad.
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Yeah, I thought of having it span about 2 more chapters, RIGHT after I made it. But, I need some pathetic villains :P

Anyway, thank you.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

It's still kind of odd how I'm a minor villain and yet I'm the second to appear, and the most dangerous. Yoshidude just seems like a whiny bratty kid right now, you need to give him some awesome powers or something to make up for his lackluster personality.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

"Me and Yoshiwaker" - I think you need to go back to school Supremo.

I liked it, but you need more description on how Yoshidude found the stone. Make him have to get through booby traps in pyramids and make is more exciting. I give it an 8.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

New Super Mario said:
"Me and Yoshiwaker" - I think you need to go back to school Supremo.

I liked it, but you need more description on how Yoshidude found the stone. Make him have to get through booby traps in pyramids and make is more exciting. I give it an 8.
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It's fine :P

And also, yeah, I can make it more exciting. I was thinking of talking about how he got it on the next chapter.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

Dr. Mario said:
New Super Mario said:
"Me and Yoshiwaker" - I think you need to go back to school Supremo.

I liked it, but you need more description on how Yoshidude found the stone. Make him have to get through booby traps in pyramids and make is more exciting. I give it an 8.
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It's fine :P

And also, yeah, I can make it more exciting. I was thinking of talking about how he got it on the next chapter.
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Sounds good. I hope you don't think I'm yelling at you, I'm just trying to give you some tips.
 
Re: The Real Life Wiki

New Super Mario said:
Dr. Mario said:
New Super Mario said:
"Me and Yoshiwaker" - I think you need to go back to school Supremo.

I liked it, but you need more description on how Yoshidude found the stone. Make him have to get through booby traps in pyramids and make is more exciting. I give it an 8.
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It's fine :P

And also, yeah, I can make it more exciting. I was thinking of talking about how he got it on the next chapter.
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Sounds good. I hope you don't think I'm yelling at you, I'm just trying to give you some tips.
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Yeah, I appreciate your tips. I want your guys' honest opinions to try and make my story better, and what you think of it.
 
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