Top Ten/Review Thread

You forgot Sonic 3 & Knuckles, that is a amazing game.
 
It's been awhile. I've been very busy with school, so I've had to take time off. Or maybe I'm just busy playing Scarlet Weather Rhapsody. In any case, this is my first countdown in some time. And it's just in time for the holidays! Characters can have plenty of different traits that make them stand out. Whether it's their backstory, voice, theme...there's a bunch more. My trait that I'm doing today is humor. Characters can also completely crack you up. And that's what I'm listing. Keep in mind, the PBP rule is back, though there is one character from a series I haven't played. And again, one per franchise. Anywho, let's begin the Top Twelve Most Humorous Characters!

TOP TWELVE MOST HUMOROUS CHARACTERS

NUMBER TWELVE

Henry Hatsworth is a game I think is very underrated. It's a good combo of an action platformer and a puzzle game. And Henry himself, well, he's an old British gentleman! How awesome is that!? But he wasn't my fave. Cole was. Cole's 19th Century clothing makes him well dressed, his carefree attitude makes him one of the more likable antagonists I've seen, and I simply LOVE that gibberish that he makes during a conversation. Cracks me up even to this day. And his theme, Heavy Metal...fantastic. When you see him inside the robot that serves as the last boss...chances are you'll have a high dry cleaning bill.

NUMBER ELEVEN

The Heavy from TF2...he really isn't much in battle. He's strong, yeah, but that's really about it. He doesn't have a backstory, and his defensive tactics and speed are poor. However, I smile EVERY TIME he speaks.

YOU ARE DEAD, NOT BIG SURPRISE!

His thick Russian accent...huh boy.

YOU FALL ON FLOOR AND CRY LIKE BABY!

And that's why I love him.

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, IN SOVIET RUSSIA, POEM WRITES YOU!

NUMBER TEN

That...Error guy...from Zelda 2. Such a good line. It's become quite a meme nowadays. That's really bout it, because other than him uttering that classic line, there's really not much else to say about him. Uh, gotta insert line here to finish, uh, um, TOAST!

NUMBER NINE

90% of users and their mothers know how much I love Chrono Trigger. It can actually be a humorous game. Case and point, Ayla. Ayla's speech cracks me up, with its insane comparisons and very poor grammar. She also kind of has a catchphrase, which she can say up to thrice in one game. "Think too much, head go boom." And in the Japanese version...let's just say her speeches toward Marle are more...

*dons sunglasses*

...Ecchi.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

NUMBER EIGHT

Okay, don't kill me. I find this guy a little repetitive nowadays. But he still rocks. Fawful from the Mario and Luigi series seems to crack everyone up. His food-laced metaphors and his speech pattern is very unique, which also add to his humor factor. And that laugh is dementedly...demented. It just...I don't know how to describe it. All I know is that I HAVE FURY!

NUMBER SEVEN

The game I have recently been playing off the PC is Return To Dreamland. Kirby's a pretty unique series, and GOD do I love that game. The top character in terms of humor is Dedede. Dedede has always been pretty comical. It's fairly unchanged in RtD, with his lax personality always seeming to get the better of him. That's why this big lazyass needs to lay off the cheeseburgers. And I LOVE playing as him. What I really like is difficult to describe, so I gotta call it quits. Yo servants, get me my hourly cheeseburger and beer, and make it snappy!

NUMBER SIX

Ï'm śōrrÿ, Ī drâñk tôò mūçh. Ûh, Ćöñkėr'š pėršøńäłïtÿ ïś jûśt vęrÿ wïń...okay, I'll stop. Conker is a greedy squirrel who loves alcoholic beverages. He also loves army movies and a very certain something I won't name due to this forum having 9-year-olds. But the thing everyone seems to like about Conker is how fresh a personality he is. If he finds you weak, he'll let you know, and give you a chance at last words. He finds you strong, he won't let you know. I'm not sure about much else, due to how long it's been since I've played Conker. MØRÈ BÊĖR PŁŹ.

NUMBER FIVE

Between Gruntilda and Kazooie, I didn't know who to pick. But I decided on Grunty. Her rhyming is so win. Whether she's telling you about her bathroom habits or her hat size, it's hilarious. And really awkward. And I guess even more hilarious. Jeez, I can just imagine what she's saying to the directors and programmers off-screen.

MY HEALTH IS LOWERING BIT BY BIT, MY DEFENSE IS LOW, I HAVE TO...UH...

NUMBER FOUR

This was incredibly difficult due to a slight lack of characters. So this one is only because of how creative the series is. For this spot, I chose Earthworm Jim. He's a freaking WORM in a spacesuit and he has a whip and a blaster and he fights the most insane foes like a queen who has a slug for her gluteus maximus, leads a freaking purple mutant dog to his residence through meatball rain...

NINE HOURS LATER...

...And that's why Mountain Dew is the best soda ever.

NUMBER THREE

I didn't know what to expect when I got Mafia II. It's basically GTA without the cursing every five seconds (it's now every fifteen) and without the girls on the sidewalk. And I like it without 'em. Also, Vito's awesome. His swift counters when it comes to arguments make him a debate master, and he has A STOMACH OF STEEL!...Yes, live with it, and stop the complaining before I summon Remilia. Anyway, Vito's comments are more than hilarious when he's jarred on booze, and his seductivity is simply win. It's pretty hard to describe what I like, so...àh, dïš hérę rûm īś tø dïė fõr!

NUMBER TWO

Deciding on the runner up spot was actually quite easy. I chose Psycho Mantis for this spot. Not only is he funny, but he's CREEPY! He's wearing clothing (gas mask included) that I can easily compare to S&M gear, and not only does he do the crap everyone knows about with your memory card and controller, he calls you gay and POSSESSES MERYL!...It's very entertaining, though, to see what he's doing with your game. He even returns in MGS4, but can't do anything he did in the original successfully when it comes to screwing with your game. (Wireless controller, no memory card needed.) Say, I wonder what he says in the original if you don't have a memory card...you know, that's a good question. No, I won't check right now. I'm busy finishing this countdown! Jeez, ever heard of suspension of disbelief?

NUMBER ONE

This is the series I haven't played. I've watched the show and read the manga, however. So I'm including her. What's her name, you ask?..................Must I even say it? It's Lala from To Love-Ru. Lala is simply...energetic. And that's just one single word to describe her. She doesn't give three sh*ts about Rito's wellbeing, she has a suit that she often wears complete with a little swingy swingy (I'm a kid at heart, okay?) that I can compare to a tie, and a hat with arrow-headed tails like the one she has on her butt, which is already messed up enough! She's also an utter pink-haired blonde, and her inventions always fail on Rito, with catastrophic results. One example. She makes a rocket to increase HER BUST, and it blows up on Rito, which turns him into a her! Another one, she makes a warp device that only warps YOU. Meaning, it doesn't send watches, earrings, and CLOTHES. Jeez, and this is the girl you're supposed to marry? No thank you. Lala Satalin is the most humorous character in gaming. Other people can seem to agree with me, because look at...ah, to Hell with giving examples. But seriously, when you see her, all you can think is OH FU-
 
Oh, right, my Skyward Sword and MK7 Reviews.

Skyward Sword:
Story:
The story of this game is superb, it gives you a nice start on you floating land of Skyloft before having to get the Goddess' Sword and make your way to the surface to find Zelda and fill out your role in destiny, But to truly understand everything, you must play the game yourself.
10/10

Graphics:
this game shows that Releastic Brown Muscly Graphics don't make a game, Zelda has an amazing Art Style which pefectly suits the game. I think Zelda has found an Art Style to stick with.
10/10

Music:
The Music in this game is also amazing, every song suits the mood, area and characters. i didn't find any problem with this musical masterpiece
10/10

Gameplay:
And new thing added is that now Enemies block attacks, turning each battle into a puzzle where you learn your enemies fighting patterns and then strike. The Flying is a nice relaxation from the amazing worlds below, the Area's you go through feel like their own Mini Dungeon, before finding your way into a Dungeon, which is the true challenge. The Stamina Bar is a very welcome change, instead of walking across the landscape, you can run your way around but then stop for a break before your off again
10/10

Controls:
Are the Motion Controls as good as people say? YES! Hell YES! The Motion Controls are amazing, you would think they'd go out of sync all the time, but they hardly ever do. In fact, the only thing that went out of sync was the pointer but taht can easily be fixed with the Down Button to re-center it, which fixes the problem. You can swing your sword in whatever direction you want, with your Nunchuk acting as a Shield to deflect attacks and projectiles to stun opponents.
10/10

Replayability:
Once beating the game, that leaves Replayability left, but Nintendo had a solution. The new Hero Mode which is the extra hard mode where enemies do more damage and the whole game becomes a much more challenging experience. Even if you didnt choose hero mode, the game itself is so great, I don't know why you wouldn't just play through it again. I know I am right now.
10/10

Overall:
Is it okay to call this the best Zelda game? Well that's just a matter of opinion. I think this game deserves the Title of Best Zelda game, but this game also brang in amazing combat controls, amazing Graphics and an amazing and captivating story. I give this game:
60/60

10/10


And don't even try to disagree, just write your own review and go with that
 
Okay, I have wanted to review this for a very long time. Chrono Trigger's a great game with a fantastic story, and even has my favorite RPG move, Ice Sword II. But does it have sequels that aren't fanmade? Yep, two. Radical Dreamers, which was Japan only from its release in '96 until we got it as patched freeware around 2008, and Chrono Cross, which came out on the Playstation in 2000. So it's time to review Chrono CROSS!

Story: The story in this game is impressive, especially with the way it backs up the story from the original. Schala must be rescued by Serge, who died in the main world and is exploring an alternate timeline. Schala's power has been absorbed by the still-conscious Lavos to a point where Lavos could destroy everything in an instant. This has many flashbacks to the original game, and several characters reappear. Sadly, this is, as usual, the most lacking part in the review thanks to SPOILERS! I was a bit disappointed by the lack of endings. But I didn't care. Most of the original's endings were either large ones that you got simply by beating Lavos at certain times or small edits on the main one. I can only acknowledge two major endings in the original that aren't by beating Lavos at different times (Excluding the Dream Devourer one), the first one's the normal and the second one's if you decided to get some cat food on your journey.

Story: 10/10

Gameplay: This game's pretty much your average RPG in battle. The moving battles are all but gone. The overworld is nice and simple. Some foes you have to fight, some you can choose to. It doesn't really have anything too unique, though.

Gameplay: 8/10

Graphics: If there's one thing I love about this game, it's the graphics. They're a bit off because it's a PSX game, but the art is simply beautiful. It's calming and peaceful as well. I would give this game one hundred quadrillion out of ten in graphics, but that just wouldn't be fair...

Graphics: 10/10

Characters: The characters are nothing special. They either have too simple a claim to fame or too complex. The returning characters include Crono, Marle, Lucca, Lavos, Schala, a cameo by Magus and Robo, AND FREAKING DALTON! This is the main reason why I prefer the original...

Characters: 5/10

Music: The music is...beautiful. That's the only word I can use to describe it. Beautiful. It's very calming, sometimes depressing, and it sounds like a lullaby at a few points. But there's really nothing that puts you on your toes, so it loses out a bit.

Music: 8/10

Overall: While not as good as Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross is an impressive game and a very worthy sequel. It's coming out on PSN soon, and possibly might even be out. I'm not sure, but I do highly recommend getting it.

SCORE: 41/50 = 8.2/10
 
REVIEW: Kingdom Hearts II
Graphics: 8/10 They're pretty good. Not extremely good or anything, but good for the PS2.
Story: 9/10 The story is good and truly felt epic. It resolves some questions from the previous games.
Gameplay: 8/10 I liked the Reaction Commands. I also liked Limits.
Music: 10/10 This has some of the best Squeenix music. It is awesome.
OVERALL: 35/40 This is a great game, and I recommend it.
 
I love Kingdom Hearts I & II

My Favourite PS2 Games.

In fact, theyre up there with TWEWY, Paper Mario 2 and PokePark as some of my favourite games.
 
Crackin355 said:
I love Kingdom Hearts I & II

My Favourite PS2 Games.

In fact, theyre up there with TWEWY, Paper Mario 2 and PokePark as some of my favourite games.
Nice to see somebody else who likes KH.
 
Touhou Games (Games I through V were on PC-98, so you need an emulator to play them now.)

Highly Responsive to Prayers (I)
Stories of Eastern Wonderland (II)
Phantasmagoria Dimensional Dream (III)
Lotus Land Story (IV)
Mystic Square (V)
Embodiment of Scarlet Devil (VI)
Perfect Cherry Blossom (VII)
Immaterial and Missing Power (VII.5)
Imperishable Night (VIII)
Phantasmagoria of Flower View (IX)
Shoot The Bullet (IX.5)
Mountain of Faith (X)
Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (X.5)
Subterranean Animism (XI)
Undefined Fantastic Object (XII)
Unthinkable Natural Law/Enigma of the Superdreadnaught (XII.3)
Double Spoiler (XII.5)
Fairy Wars (XII.8)
Ten Desires (XIII)

Touhou...my favorite SERIES of all time. Hopefully you know why I saved this review until now. Now that I have every game in the series (my game list is NOT up to date), I can actually give a full review. PBP won't be needed, because as I stated, I've played 'em all. I'm rating on several subjects: Gameplay, Story, Characters, and Setting, Music, Graphics, Main Games, Side Games, Controls, Replayability, and Lasting Impression. They have different point values, so here's the chart for them.

Gameplay: 25
Story, Characters, and Setting: 30
Music: 20
Graphics: 10
Main Games: 30
Side Games: 25
Control: 10
Replayability: 15
Lasting Impression: 20

That's 185 points in all. So here's my review of the Touhou games.

Gameplay:

Touhou IV on are Bullet Hell games. You move from side to side, and dodge the bullets, all the while shooting at your foes. I-III are simple collect-the-items-dodge-or-attack-your-enemies sort of game. VII.5, X.5, and XII.3 are fighters. The shooters are energizing, and really keep you on your toes. The platformers are simple, and effective. And the fighters are...

*dons sunglasses*

...Self-explanatory.

YEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

...I really need to stop doing that.

Score: 23/25

Story, Characters, and Setting:

The thing I especially enjoy about this series is these categories. The stories range from game to game, but usually have something to do with spirits, whether you need to defeat them or calm them. Or both. The setting is in Gensōkyo, the oriental world between the spiritual world and the real one. But the characters, who are all female, are what I really love. We have a she-devil who SAYS she's the descendant of Dracula, three ghostly musicians, and a phantom who is the mistress of swordswomanship! Jeez...

Score: 30/30

Music:

No doubt, the music is this series' claim to fame is the music. You're thinking, UN Owen Was Her, yeah? WROOOONG! That track is f*cking overrated. I even made a Top 12 Touhou Tracks. If you're too lazy to make one single finger movement, I do have the list here.

TOP TWELVE TOUHOU BOSS TRACKS

12.

http://youtu.be/UprpHCWghnE

The Alice In Wonderland Angel From Highly Responsive To Prayer (Touhou I)


ああ、PC - 98日...最初からこの曲のトーン、祈りに非常に敏感、完全に変更するようだ。これはかなりユニークです。

(Ah, the PC-98 days...this track from the first one, Highly Responsive To Prayer, changes tone several times. That's what makes it unique.)

11.

http://youtu.be/TBPQb9dj7LQ

Mystia Lorelei's Theme From Phantasmagoria Of Flower View (Touhou IX)

この曲は本当に背筋震えを送信します。そして神はローレライ不気味です...

(This song really sends a shiver down your spine. And GOD is Lorelei creepy...)

10.

http://youtu.be/VIop055eJhU

Flandre Scarlet's Theme From Embodiment Of Scarlet Devil (Touhou VI)

信じられないかもしれませんが、私はアンオーウェンはそれほど彼女なのか見つけることができませんでしたではない。キャッチーな、そうではなく、それだけ。しかし、それはまだ良いコースだ。とフランドールは本当にあなたが着ぐるみの参照してくださいね人です。

(Okay, believe it or not, I didn't find UN Owen Was Her that much. Catchy, yeah, but not that much otherwise. However, it's still a good song. And Flandre's kinda cute.)

9.

http://youtu.be/OHMFEGOw4Ds

Yuyuko Saigyouji's Theme From Ten Desires (Touhou XIII)

それはこのシリーズが進むにつれて、キャラクターデザインは、より多くのロリータになっているようです。それは悪いことだではないこと...

(It seems that as the series has progressed, character designs have become more and more Lolita. Not that it's a bad thing...)

8.

http://youtu.be/O8-SrmzsrkE

Reimu Hakurei's Theme From Touhou Hisōtensoku: Unthinkable Natural Law (Touhou XII.3)

ああ、霊夢、単に古典的な...

(Ah, Reimu, simply classic...)

7.

http://youtu.be/195XntreoMc

Yukari Yakumo's Theme From Perfect Cherry Blossom (Touhou VII)


5ワード

その
です。

クレイジー
雌犬

(Five Words.

That
Is
One
Crazy
B****)

6.

http://youtu.be/t4y-pQb-UDA

Mystia Lorelei's Theme From Imperishable Night (Touhou VIII)


ローレライのテーマは、奇妙に思われる...私にはメランコリック。それは私だけ...か、彼女は名前を言ってポケットのトランスレータを必要としない唯一の東方キャラクターの一つだという事実...かもしれない

(Lorelei's theme seems really...melancholic to me. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because it's one of the few Touhou characters whose names you don't need a pocket translator to say...)

5.

http://youtu.be/128rfuJczCs

Aya Shameimaru's Theme From Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (Touhou X.5)

綾は、単に所有している。彼女の性格は素晴らしいです、と彼女は戦うために良いチャレンジだ。と彼女がプレイ可能な時に...しっかりつかまる。彼女のキャッチフレーズを忘れないようにしてみましょう。私は最速の...にいるよ幻想郷!

(Aya, she's freaking awesome. She has an upbeat personality, and is a good challenge as a boss. And when you get to play as her...hang on tight. Let's not forget her catchphrase. I'M THE FASTEST...IN GENSŌKYO!)

4.

http://youtu.be/tX0PwiwvLnE

Nitori Kawashiro's Theme From Mountain Of Faith (Touhou X)

ニトリは、私の考えでシリーズのかわいいキャラクターの一つなので、スナップ写真フレンドは非常にテーマを値する。

(Nitori's one of the cutest characters in Touhou in my opinion, so Candid Friend is very deserving for her.)

3.

http://youtu.be/c7gt-F57OZI

Koishi Komeiji's Theme From Subterranean Animism (Touhou XI)


小石は、おそらくシリーズにかわいいです。彼女のテーマは、特に開口部だけで素晴らしいです。

(Koishi's probably THE cutest in the series. Her theme is just fantastic, especially the opening.)

2.

http://youtu.be/2UHrkLINE0U

Remilia's Theme From Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (Touhou X.5)

東方でやって石の歌は、セックスは何ですか?何でも。レミリアは偉大なキャラクター、そして彼女のテーマの岩です。長い運命のミストレスを生きる!

(What the f*** is a rock song doing in Touhou? Whatever. Remilia's a great character, and her theme rocks. Long live the Mistress Of Fate!)

1.

http://youtu.be/M9wHYiicY5I

The Prismriver Sisters' Theme From Perfect Cherry Blossom (Touhou VII)


私が聞いた時最初に、私はこれをそれほど見つけられませんでした。私は自分の気のめいる裏話を読んだ後、しかし、それは完全に変わった。これは非常にトップの座に値する。

(First time I heard, I didn't find this that much. But after I read their depressing backstory, that changes completely. This is very deserving of the top spot.)

...Yeah, that's the list. I shouldn't say any more.

Score: 20/20

Graphics:

The graphics in this series are what you'd expect from freeware. They're basically just manga graphics. It makes every character get a relative bit of cuteness. But to be fully honest, they're nothing special.

Score: 8/10

Current Score: 81/85

Main Games:

The main games are simple and effective. We have the start of the series in platformers, and the rest of it in Bullet Hell. There isn't much else to say. The Bullet Hell games never tire due to how big a part score is. You always want to keep going.

Score: 30/30

Side Games:

The side games are usually not much. There are a few little and really short Bullet Hell games, and some REALLY addicting fighters. If only the side game shooters were that good...

Score: 18/25

Control:

The control doesn't need any explanation. You use one button to shoot, one for your bombs, and four to move. Simple and effective. In the scrollers, four to move, one to jump, and a few for your special moves. And the fighters need no control description.

Score: 10/10

Replayability:

There are four modes. Easy, medium, hard, and lunatic. Each mode has score records. It's crazy to always want to try and best them. High score is vital in this series. So you always want to beat your old high score. It can wear a bit, but doesn't really get old, if you get what I mean.

Score: 12/15

Lasting Impression:

These games are huge for me. I always want to get home after school and see if I can beat Flandre or top my high score. To me, no game can have a perfect lasting impression, and this really isn't one. Because honestly, even with the fun I have playing them, they're pretty quick. While I can play forever to try to get a high score, I can beat the stages in all four modes in about five days. That's what really hurts it.

Score: 16/20

Final: 167/185 = 90.27/100

Yeah, Touhou's an excellent series. So if you haven't tried it, I highly suggest that you do so.
 
I think I watched a video of touhou, it's dodging bullets and stuff right? I despise games like that. Never had fun with a single one of those type of games.

Anyway, I'll do a review on MK7, Kirby Wii and star fox 64 3D soon.
 
Well, I'm someone who LOVES all types of shooters (even though I suck at first person ones). So...my next one.

Next list anyone? To be honest, I haven't done much recently. I've retired from the main wiki again, so the forum will likely be the main place you'll see me at. I had a hard time coming up with this list. This actually took me about a month, with fifteen minutes of work each weekday, and one hour each weekend, mostly on deciding placement. So my latest work. Movie games usually equal bad games. Games starring a pink puffball usually equal good games. So why am I saying that? No reason. Uh, moving on, the Top FIFTEEN Females In Gaming. I did just say that. The sections are: Personality, Importance to the Game, Looks, Voice (If voiced at all), Strength, and Theme (If they have one). Let's begin, mkay? PBP is lifted, but one-per-franchise is not.

15.

To start this list, we have the only non-humanoid on this list...Amaterasu, from Okami. Can't go by looks, because Ammy's a freaking wolf goddess. She really doesn't have too much of a personality, besides her bravery. Not really sure if Ammy's even a she. Japan says yes, Europe says yes, America says Ammy's genderless, and I don't know about Australia. But Ammy's on here for two reasons. One, her themes are beautiful, especially The Sun Rises, and two, I LOVE HER VICTORY HOWL!

14.

Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!

13.

Since she's a silent protag, Matodsuki from Yume Nikki doesn't have much of a personality. She also doesn't have much of a theme. But she is STRONG AS ALL HECK (mainly in willpower). I've barely played Yume Nikki (I've played about five minutes, and I'm planning on playing more when I get the time), so I don't know much...but what I do know is that since there are so many foes to fight, you'll be busy. And the nightmares she has are very creative. And odd. I certainly would not want to meet her in a dark alley. Or a brightly lit room. F*CK YOU JOHN HENSON.

12.

I SO wanted to put Lara Croft on here. But since I don't want a court case, I changed it to another Square Enix character I like. Celes, from FFVI. I haven't played the game in years, so this'll be a little shaky. Celes is probably the most lovable character in the series, famous for its emos. She's a former general turned traitor for who knows what reason. Celes is outgoing, sweet to Locke, and her theme is simply excellent. You also get the feel for her when she tr-

*SPOILERS!*

11.

I give up. Lara Croft takes the spot. I have never played Tomb Raider, so I know almost nothing about her. But she gets on this list for really starting GIRL POWER in games like this, and is a good start to female protagonists. I'm actually not so sure whether or not to find this a good thing...

10.

I SO wanted to put a character from Persona 3 or 4 on this list. But I just couldn't decide who, with all their insane plots. There's so much in these games, I could not decide who. So screw Persona, but we'll stay on the subject of Japanese games. From the Japan-only Daigassou! Band Brothers, we have Barbara the Bat. I have it, but since it's in Japanese, I have no clue what they're saying. I got it from a buddy of mine who has a summer home in Kyoto. Anyway, Barbara is on this list for a similar reason as Lara. She brought the females to the music games. Too bad it was Japan-only. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE JAPAN-ONLY YOU LAZY MOTHERFU-

9.

I'm pretty sure I'm wrong, but games are SUPPOSED to be about entertainment, not annoyance. So the repetitive speaking of this chick is what sets her back. Yes, it's Samus Aran. Maybe the first female protagonist in gaming, Samus' gender was first revealed to players who took out the original Mother Brain. Surprisingly, her looks haven't exactly progressed too much in my opinion. And she's very annoying. Let's not forget her famed chat about the baby in Metroid Prime 3. But she's really on here because she set the tome for female heroes. And what I consider to be her theme, Metroid Charge, is absolutely awesome.

8.

I found a good selection from the Persona series. Chie from Persona 4, which I got for Christmas, is my choice. I'm pretty sure I'll regret this choice. Oh well. Moving on, Chie's a brainiac who loves cheering her friends on and encouraging. She's also strong in battle. I also believe she may be one of the few who doesn't shout PERSONA before each stinking move. But she's a bit low for one, not really having a theme, and two, the lack of an interesting backstory. Interesting backstories are synonymous with the Persona series.

7.

I don't know what made me put Sylvia from No More Heroes up here. Whatever. Her changing personality from HOLY SH*T IS SHE CRANKY to really seductive and back is plain hilarious. While she doesn't have a theme, she DOES have a great voice. I seem to smile whenever she opens her mouth. Who knows what her accent truly is, but I would say it's Ukrainian. I believe Suda51 also said that. Jeez, take some hints, you impotent dipsh*ts.

6 & 5.

Mai Shiranui vs. Chun Li...Fatal Fury vs. Street Fighter...Upper Body vs. Lower Body...so many more. These two are both awesome fighters with great themes and personalities, and are equally hot to boot. But who's the better one? That, my friends, I couldn't decide on. Mai Shiranui and Chun Li are tied for the fifth spot. How bout you tell me your opinion on who's better?

4.

Touhou has, like, no males in its cast. That's seriously what made this selection so difficult. My choices were eventually narrowed between the Scarlet sisters, Remilia and Flandre. I didn't know who would be better for awhile, but I decided on Remilia. Claiming to be a descendant of Dracula, Remilia's an epic character. The Mistress of Fate, this harbinger personality appears to be arrogant and sort of childish at the same time, her looks...I can't seem to describe without innuendo, which I HATE, and let's not forget her theme. It's debated over whether it's officially called Septette for the Dead Princess or Septette for the Dead Queen. So I came up with my own name for it. Septette for the DEAD ROYAL B*TCH.

3.

The Mario series has three princesses, Peach, Daisy, and Rosalina. But you likely already knew that. They all have their own voice actresses, personalities, themes, and looks. But who's better? In my opinion, it's the Cosmic Princess, Rosalina. She's one of the more outgoing characters, and her appearance is a mix between Peach and Sailor Moon. Never thought I'd say that. Wait, Sailor MOON...jeez, never even noticed that. Moving on, the track I consider as her theme, the Comet Observatory music, is simply beautiful. And I love her catchphrase. May the stars shine down on you...I could listen to her say that all day. But what puts her at number 3? I don't particularly think the Intergalactic Queen should have a Southern accent, which she acquired in Mario Kart 7 when Kerri Kane became her voice actress. Do you agree?

2.

To Love-Ru is a series with fantastic characters. Lala's the comedic one, but she seems to have too MUCH a personality, which really kills her. Celine's a freaking baby, so while I enjoy her, she really doesn't have a personality. So for this, I picked Golden Darkness. What an epic name that is. While Golden Darkness, nicknamed Yami, is likely Rito's age of seventeen, she has the appearance of an immature nine-year-old, and wears the same black dress every day. The emotionless Yami has so many weapons in her disposal. She can form huge blades FROM HER HAIR. But she usually forms fists instead. Still, pick your poison. She had been sent to assassinate Rito, but decided against that. She now roams the streets with books in one hand and taiyake in the other. While Yami's aware of her duty, she doesn't think she'll ever carry it out. But she DOES have the tendency to remind Rito that due to his positively extroverted personality, his "method of execution will be quick and painless."

1.

Did you really think this character would NOT be on? Marle from Chrono Trigger is a character I enjoy. She's outgoing, and is a great tech user, with her ice and healing moves. In fact, I believe the double tech Ice Sword II, which involves her and Crono, is the most powerful in the game. Marle, or Leene, Princess Guardia XXXII likes to keep her royalty hidden. And what a relationship this cutie has to Crono! There's even a marriage photo in CTDS! I'm not going any further due to spoilers, but I'm pretty sure I've made my point. I'm Tylor (yeah, that's my real name), and I think Ice Sword II is...

*dons sunglasses*

...An EPOCH move.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!
 
Boozooka said:
Touhou Games (Games I through V were on PC-98, so you need an emulator to play them now.)

Highly Responsive to Prayers (I)
Stories of Eastern Wonderland (II)
Phantasmagoria Dimensional Dream (III)
Lotus Land Story (IV)
Mystic Square (V)
Embodiment of Scarlet Devil (VI)
Perfect Cherry Blossom (VII)
Immaterial and Missing Power (VII.5)
Imperishable Night (VIII)
Phantasmagoria of Flower View (IX)
Shoot The Bullet (IX.5)
Mountain of Faith (X)
Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (X.5)
Subterranean Animism (XI)
Undefined Fantastic Object (XII)
Unthinkable Natural Law/Enigma of the Superdreadnaught (XII.3)
Double Spoiler (XII.5)
Fairy Wars (XII.8)
Ten Desires (XIII)

Touhou...my favorite SERIES of all time. Hopefully you know why I saved this review until now. Now that I have every game in the series (my game list is NOT up to date), I can actually give a full review. PBP won't be needed, because as I stated, I've played 'em all. I'm rating on several subjects: Gameplay, Story, Characters, and Setting, Music, Graphics, Main Games, Side Games, Controls, Replayability, and Lasting Impression. They have different point values, so here's the chart for them.

Gameplay: 25
Story, Characters, and Setting: 30
Music: 20
Graphics: 10
Main Games: 30
Side Games: 25
Control: 10
Replayability: 15
Lasting Impression: 20

That's 185 points in all. So here's my review of the Touhou games.

Gameplay:

Touhou IV on are Bullet Hell games. You move from side to side, and dodge the bullets, all the while shooting at your foes. I-III are simple collect-the-items-dodge-or-attack-your-enemies sort of game. VII.5, X.5, and XII.3 are fighters. The shooters are energizing, and really keep you on your toes. The platformers are simple, and effective. And the fighters are...

*dons sunglasses*

...Self-explanatory.

YEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

...I really need to stop doing that.

Score: 23/25

Story, Characters, and Setting:

The thing I especially enjoy about this series is these categories. The stories range from game to game, but usually have something to do with spirits, whether you need to defeat them or calm them. Or both. The setting is in Gensōkyo, the oriental world between the spiritual world and the real one. But the characters, who are all female, are what I really love. We have a she-devil who SAYS she's the descendant of Dracula, three ghostly musicians, and a phantom who is the mistress of swordswomanship! Jeez...

Score: 30/30

Music:

No doubt, the music is this series' claim to fame is the music. You're thinking, UN Owen Was Her, yeah? WROOOONG! That track is f*cking overrated. I even made a Top 12 Touhou Tracks. If you're too lazy to make one single finger movement, I do have the list here.

TOP TWELVE TOUHOU BOSS TRACKS

12.

http://youtu.be/UprpHCWghnE

The Alice In Wonderland Angel From Highly Responsive To Prayer (Touhou I)


ああ、PC - 98日...最初からこの曲のトーン、祈りに非常に敏感、完全に変更するようだ。これはかなりユニークです。

(Ah, the PC-98 days...this track from the first one, Highly Responsive To Prayer, changes tone several times. That's what makes it unique.)

11.

http://youtu.be/TBPQb9dj7LQ

Mystia Lorelei's Theme From Phantasmagoria Of Flower View (Touhou IX)

この曲は本当に背筋震えを送信します。そして神はローレライ不気味です...

(This song really sends a shiver down your spine. And GOD is Lorelei creepy...)

10.

http://youtu.be/VIop055eJhU

Flandre Scarlet's Theme From Embodiment Of Scarlet Devil (Touhou VI)

信じられないかもしれませんが、私はアンオーウェンはそれほど彼女なのか見つけることができませんでしたではない。キャッチーな、そうではなく、それだけ。しかし、それはまだ良いコースだ。とフランドールは本当にあなたが着ぐるみの参照してくださいね人です。

(Okay, believe it or not, I didn't find UN Owen Was Her that much. Catchy, yeah, but not that much otherwise. However, it's still a good song. And Flandre's kinda cute.)

9.

http://youtu.be/OHMFEGOw4Ds

Yuyuko Saigyouji's Theme From Ten Desires (Touhou XIII)

それはこのシリーズが進むにつれて、キャラクターデザインは、より多くのロリータになっているようです。それは悪いことだではないこと...

(It seems that as the series has progressed, character designs have become more and more Lolita. Not that it's a bad thing...)

8.

http://youtu.be/O8-SrmzsrkE

Reimu Hakurei's Theme From Touhou Hisōtensoku: Unthinkable Natural Law (Touhou XII.3)

ああ、霊夢、単に古典的な...

(Ah, Reimu, simply classic...)

7.

http://youtu.be/195XntreoMc

Yukari Yakumo's Theme From Perfect Cherry Blossom (Touhou VII)


5ワード

その
です。

クレイジー
雌犬

(Five Words.

That
Is
One
Crazy
B****)

6.

http://youtu.be/t4y-pQb-UDA

Mystia Lorelei's Theme From Imperishable Night (Touhou VIII)


ローレライのテーマは、奇妙に思われる...私にはメランコリック。それは私だけ...か、彼女は名前を言ってポケットのトランスレータを必要としない唯一の東方キャラクターの一つだという事実...かもしれない

(Lorelei's theme seems really...melancholic to me. I'm not sure why...maybe it's because it's one of the few Touhou characters whose names you don't need a pocket translator to say...)

5.

http://youtu.be/128rfuJczCs

Aya Shameimaru's Theme From Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (Touhou X.5)

綾は、単に所有している。彼女の性格は素晴らしいです、と彼女は戦うために良いチャレンジだ。と彼女がプレイ可能な時に...しっかりつかまる。彼女のキャッチフレーズを忘れないようにしてみましょう。私は最速の...にいるよ幻想郷!

(Aya, she's freaking awesome. She has an upbeat personality, and is a good challenge as a boss. And when you get to play as her...hang on tight. Let's not forget her catchphrase. I'M THE FASTEST...IN GENSŌKYO!)

4.

http://youtu.be/tX0PwiwvLnE

Nitori Kawashiro's Theme From Mountain Of Faith (Touhou X)

ニトリは、私の考えでシリーズのかわいいキャラクターの一つなので、スナップ写真フレンドは非常にテーマを値する。

(Nitori's one of the cutest characters in Touhou in my opinion, so Candid Friend is very deserving for her.)

3.

http://youtu.be/c7gt-F57OZI

Koishi Komeiji's Theme From Subterranean Animism (Touhou XI)


小石は、おそらくシリーズにかわいいです。彼女のテーマは、特に開口部だけで素晴らしいです。

(Koishi's probably THE cutest in the series. Her theme is just fantastic, especially the opening.)

2.

http://youtu.be/2UHrkLINE0U

Remilia's Theme From Scarlet Weather Rhapsody (Touhou X.5)

東方でやって石の歌は、セックスは何ですか?何でも。レミリアは偉大なキャラクター、そして彼女のテーマの岩です。長い運命のミストレスを生きる!

(What the f*** is a rock song doing in Touhou? Whatever. Remilia's a great character, and her theme rocks. Long live the Mistress Of Fate!)

1.

http://youtu.be/M9wHYiicY5I

The Prismriver Sisters' Theme From Perfect Cherry Blossom (Touhou VII)


私が聞いた時最初に、私はこれをそれほど見つけられませんでした。私は自分の気のめいる裏話を読んだ後、しかし、それは完全に変わった。これは非常にトップの座に値する。

(First time I heard, I didn't find this that much. But after I read their depressing backstory, that changes completely. This is very deserving of the top spot.)

...Yeah, that's the list. I shouldn't say any more.

Score: 20/20

Graphics:

The graphics in this series are what you'd expect from freeware. They're basically just manga graphics. It makes every character get a relative bit of cuteness. But to be fully honest, they're nothing special.

Score: 8/10

Current Score: 81/85

Main Games:

The main games are simple and effective. We have the start of the series in platformers, and the rest of it in Bullet Hell. There isn't much else to say. The Bullet Hell games never tire due to how big a part score is. You always want to keep going.

Score: 30/30

Side Games:

The side games are usually not much. There are a few little and really short Bullet Hell games, and some REALLY addicting fighters. If only the side game shooters were that good...

Score: 18/25

Control:

The control doesn't need any explanation. You use one button to shoot, one for your bombs, and four to move. Simple and effective. In the scrollers, four to move, one to jump, and a few for your special moves. And the fighters need no control description.

Score: 10/10

Replayability:

There are four modes. Easy, medium, hard, and lunatic. Each mode has score records. It's crazy to always want to try and best them. High score is vital in this series. So you always want to beat your old high score. It can wear a bit, but doesn't really get old, if you get what I mean.

Score: 12/15

Lasting Impression:

These games are huge for me. I always want to get home after school and see if I can beat Flandre or top my high score. To me, no game can have a perfect lasting impression, and this really isn't one. Because honestly, even with the fun I have playing them, they're pretty quick. While I can play forever to try to get a high score, I can beat the stages in all four modes in about five days. That's what really hurts it.

Score: 16/20

Final: 167/185 = 90.27/100

Yeah, Touhou's an excellent series. So if you haven't tried it, I highly suggest that you do so.

tl;dr

Boozooka said:
14.

Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!
No. Just no. Except for the description and last sentence. Those are actually the only things you got right.
 
NONONONO man, you butchered your facts in Marle's section! Ice Sword 2 does around 1400 damage with lvl 60 overpowered characters and Chrono at full power to Lavos' Right Bit in his final form. Now, Luminaire alone does around 1800 damage to that form, and Flare easily does up to 3000 damage with the defense lowered. Frog Flare can do double that with Frog at low health. Also, Lucca and Ayla's Flare Kick double tech can do up to 4000 damage on most enemies. Also, Magus' Dark Matter does at least that much by default without any Magic Tabs. Marle does have the best white magic in the game tho, so if you can afford less attack power for more defensive magic, she is a good choice. I used her after I'd beaten the main ending and was after just viewing other endings, and she was more useful than I expected in the endings that require you to use only two party members to beat Lavos, but Lucca is way more useful overall and more powerful, especially if you use WonderShot, PrismDress, Vigil Helm, and the Rainbow Shell's accessory.
 
Boozooka said:
Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!

Huh?
 
Mario4Ever said:
Boozooka said:
Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!

Huh?
MY EARS.
 
Toad85 said:
Mario4Ever said:
Boozooka said:
Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!

Huh?
MY EARS.
THEY BURN.
 
Devil Jin said:
Toad85 said:
Mario4Ever said:
Boozooka said:
Another Ammy sort!? Yes. This time, it's Amy Rose. She is...kind of humanoid, I guess. She's bipedal, has hands and feet where they should be, but that's about it. Moving on, Amy Rose's upbeat personality rocks, and I really enjoy how she feels towards Sonic. You never know what she'll do to embarrass him next. But she loses points for not having a theme. And her voice is ANNOYING AS HELL!

Huh?
MY EARS.
THEY BURN.

I like to pretend she doesn't have one, mkay?

Also, I didn't go fully in-depth. Ice Sword II, from what I've experienced when I used it, is definitely the strongest ELEMENTAL PHYSICAL attack. (Its elemental, but makes physical contact, like on a sword or an arm) I've seen 4500 damage easily at level 60 from it. Likely because I hacked the game a bit for max capsules, so everyone has two stars in Strength and Magic. And since it actually makes physical contact, the damage is determined by Magic AND Strength. That's probably why. Since I only started playing the game again, I had forgotten that for Ice Sword II, your Strength stat also plays a part.
 
Still, even on a normal playthrough, Fire Sword III probably does more damage just because Flare is a stronger attack than Ice II, and frankly, I never bring Marle in for attacking parties, since Frog and Robo can keep a party alive between them pretty easily. Even just Frog is fine really if you bring Magus in with all his techs. Also, I hadn't given Marle many tabs at all, although Chrono did have maxed power.
 
Lord Ghirahim said:
Still, even on a normal playthrough, Fire Sword III probably does more damage just because Flare is a stronger attack than Ice II, and frankly, I never bring Marle in for attacking parties, since Frog and Robo can keep a party alive between them pretty easily. Even just Frog is fine really if you bring Magus in with all his techs. Also, I hadn't given Marle many tabs at all, although Chrono did have maxed power.
I mostly use Marle for healing and on foes who hate water/ice. Also, she knows Arise. For me, Crono has relatively poor M. Defense. So if he goes down, I need to revive him, and quickly.
 
Yeah, she is useful on Elementally weak monsters. And yes, Revive 2/Arise is useful (the DS version has different names on like everything...), but I tend to just obliterate the enemy before it does anything major. Also, I gave Chrono a Haste Helm and Moon Armor and had no problems with magic defense at all in endgame situations.
 
Boozooka said:
furious masturbation at all those random female characters
You make me want to cry so much. Stay the fuck away from Chrono Trigger, Okami, Metroid and Touhou, you sick little shit.

And anyone who honestly believes To Love Ru is any sort of good must've had a very creepy and depraved upbringing.
 
Back