Can someone help me ?

Thanks to you!

It's been a while isn't it? Can someone tell me if this sentence is all right / or not? :

If the CD-ROM version of Mario Teaches Typing is inserted into a CD player, a hidden audio track called "Practice Makes Perfect" will play.
 
Dr Luigi Tm said:
Thanks to you!

It's been a while isn't it? Can someone tell me if this sentence is all right / or not? :

If the CD-ROM version of Mario Teaches Typing is inserted into a CD player, a hidden audio track called "Practice Makes Perfect" will play.
Click to expand...

I don't see anything wrong with it.
 
Thanks for your help!

Ans now, is there anything wrong in this? :

In early pressings of the Super Mario Kart instruction booklet, it was written that the Ghost item only appears in Battle Mode.
 
Thaks! And I'm not sure about the ending oof this sentence... Is it ok?

Grinders, Banzai Bills, Ravens, Wigglers and some more appear on hieroglyphics on the pillars in the Sand Tomb in Mario Strikers Charged.
 
Instead of "some more" you should put: "and other enemies." It's not exactly wrong, but it sounds weird. Also, instead of putting "in Mario Strikers Charged" at the end, you should put it at the beginning, like so:

Dr Luigi Tm said:
In Mario Strikers Charged, Grinders, Banzai Bills, Ravens, Wigglers and some more other enemies appear on hieroglyphics on the pillars in the Sand Tomb in Mario Strikers Charged.
Click to expand...

Other than that, it looks good. ;D
 
Thanks a lot!

And now, is this sentence well formed? :

In Mario Party 5, if the player manages to hit all 30 baseballs in the Dinger Derby minigame, a hot-air balloon with a 30 on it will appear.
 
Thank you very much!

And is this sentence makes sens? I didn't know how to name those title screen at the begining of each chapter..... Is it all right? :

In Paper Mario, if the player waits 15 seconds at the title screen of a new chapter, the original ''Super Mario Bros.'' music will play.
 
It's grammatically correct, but I'd swap the "if the player waits...at the title screen" and "the original...will play" clauses around. Just makes it read better.
 
Is that what you mean? :

In Paper Mario, the original ''Super Mario Bros.'' music will play if the player waits 15 seconds at the title screen of a new chapter.
 
Ok! Thanks!

And is there anything wrong in this one?:

The "Life's Ruff" episode of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, is the only episode of any Mario cartoon in which Mario doesn't appear.
 
Removing the comma reads better, but also, try changing "any" to "all", same Character count, same meaning, and reads better.
 
^ That works, but remember you'd have to pluralize "cartoons". So with our suggestions, the sentence would now read this:

The "Life's Ruff" episode of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 is the only episode of all Mario cartoons in which Mario doesn't appear.
Click to expand...
 
Oh yeah, I've forgot about the "s" part after "cartoon".
 
Thanks all! ;D

Now, Can someone tell me if this one is correct?:

The Super Mario Bros. movie was the first cinematrical adaptation based on a video game franchise.
 
I don't think the word "cinematrical" exists. Perhaps use cinematical instead. Other than this, it looks good to me.
 
Thanks! Which want do you think is the best between those two? :

The Super Mario Bros. movie was the first cinematical adaptation based on a video game franchise.

The Super Mario Bros. movie was the first cinematical adaptation of a video game franchise.
 
Personally, I think the first sentence sounds more correct. But you may want to get a second opinion.
 
I'd personally say "adaptation of," but I think you can go with either.
 
Thanks to you!

Which one should I say:


In Super Mario Bros., hitting an upside-down Buzzy Beetle shell in mid-air will give to the player 8000 points.


In Super Mario Bros., hitting an upside-down Buzzy Beetle shell in mid-air will give the player 8000 points.
 
Dr Luigi Tm said:
Thanks to you!

Which one should I say:


In Super Mario Bros., hitting an upside-down Buzzy Beetle shell in mid-air will give to the player 8000 points.


In Super Mario Bros., hitting an upside-down Buzzy Beetle shell in mid-air will give the player 8000 points.
Click to expand...
the "give the player" one
 
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