Project 132 (beta)

How was the latest update? If you just plain didn't like it, leave me a review below.

  • Eh, neutral.

    Votes: 1 50.0%

  • I liked it.

    Votes: 1 50.0%

  • It was awesome!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    2
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Well, it's not like the fantasy elements disappeared...the ultimate end of the universe was bought upon by the Seven.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

i'm just saying that it's weird to have any connection at all to the real world, at least in my opinion
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

But that connection was already there, what with all the talk of inherited memories and the modern technology and all. The universe reboot was to explain that.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

There's a difference between random technology kicking about and jamming a clumsy mashup of unrealistic speculative fiction and magic realism into the middle of a high fantasy. Better to just let the tech be part of the charm of the fantasy world (and avoid the indulgence of memories altogether, perhaps), rather than making some contrived and plot-irrelevant explanation (which doesn't actually work, seeing as the universe being destroyed means the technology goes bye-bye too).
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

The tech was destroyed and remade based on the inherited memories deal. That's why you still have people walking around with katanas and fighting monsters when all the foundations of the modern world is there, because they already know how to make it.

I apologize if it was too much of a mood/genre shift, but I had assumed that I'd placed in enough foreshadowing and reasons to ask questions about why everything was so similar, yet so different.

Despite that background, the story goes on as it did before from here. I'm sorry you didn't like it, but all I can really do at this point is explain.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Based Sora said:
but all I can really do at this point is explain.
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Or, y'know, go back and edit.

When people seem to unanimously disagree with a choice I've made with a story, I fix it, and the story always turns out better for it. That's the joy of Internet publishing - the feedback is fast and plentiful, and it's easier to go back and edit (aside from the regular time constraints): take advantage of that, instead of getting all defensive yet again.


When you've got magic powers and floating islands and physical gods in a world based on an Internet community, no one is seriously going to ask why there are cellphones being used alongside katanas - it's high fantasy, it's schozotech, it's cool, we just go with it. If this was a hard sci-fi story, sure, explain away - provided you actually do proper research about how technology evolves and can offer up an explanation that actually works, of course. But as things are now, sorry, but your explanation's unnecessary and half-baked. Deal.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Figured I should butt in, seeing as I'm the guy that "Tuck" is based on. So heya.

Y'all aren't actually the only two who read this thing; I do too and it turns me on. I feel compelled to remind you that Tabs already wrote a thing, Project Aviate, and while it was also turn-on-inducing, he personally did not enjoy writing it. And that is not fun. It was fun for the people who read it because most of them didn't know, but it certainly wasn't fun for him.

Neither would going back and changing stuff to compensate for two people. Criticism is one thing, but that's a tad bit ridiculous. If you don't like it, you don't have to read.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

YE360 said:
If you don't like it, you don't have to read.
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and in one fell swoop, you forfeited the right to partake in this debate.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Actually, as the author, I'd say he does.

I'd sooner have no readers than write another story I don't want to write.

If this turn is too much for the people reading, I apologize, but I'm not changing the plot for anybody. Sorry Walkazo, Javelin, but if this little bit of backstory ruins the story for you, then that's just the price I'll pay, because this is my story and I'm going to take the plot in whatever direction I like. I don't mind fixing errors and shit, but at some point I want to be able to flex as much creative muscles as I want, and I'm not going to let two complaints change the direction of a story I've been planning for months.

I can't tell you how to read Project 132, but you can't tell me how to write it, either.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

whoa whoa whoa

i was just a little unhappy about this, i didn't say it ruined the story

neither do i support going back and retconning the story

i just said that in my opinion, i didn't enjoy it

keep in mind that in my opinion, i didn't really like project aviate quite as much as typical tragedy, but i still thought it was pretty good
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

I'm glad you didn't utterly despise it, because while Typical Tragedy got kind of stretched and slightly stressful, it was always something I enjoyed writing. PAviate was, in short, a pandering effort, and it losts all its novelty to me within the first few chapters.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Based Sora said:
I don't mind fixing errors and shit, but at some point I want to be able to flex as much creative muscles as I want, and I'm not going to let two complaints change the direction of a story I've been planning for months.
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Might be a good idea to, when this is done, write a draft with the proposed direction change and see where it goes. I've written short stories and the like before, and I've found that sometimes such a change makes a story better than the original idea I had for it. There's really no point in asking for feedback if the story's going to go a certain way regardless of the sort of feedback you get.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

^qft. In fact, I once got inspired to write an entire new trilogy of stories because I decided to change a subplot that didn't sit well with any of the readers, and soon came to not sit well with me either.

However, this story doesn't even necessarily need a whole direction change. It's just one scene - and a pretty stand-alone one at that, which makes it easier to go back and change. There can still be random tech and allusions to memories from other universes and whatnot, and Cecil can still be from another, earlier, ravaged world - just lose the explicit RL connection.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Before I do this, two questions:

One, why is the explicit RL connection (which is something present in literally every UP fic ever) suddenly such a horrible thing? The universe was destroyed but people remade the things they had created upon their rebirth. If you can make a katana based on memories of swordsmen, why can't you make a computer from memories of technicians? Even so, the connection to RL is important, especially where Ruin is involved. It doesn't work if it's another universe. There's a reason I chose this.

Two, since when is this a high fantasy? Characters regularly walk around dropping musical and cultural references, Tabuu spends the beginning of the story using a triple-monitor setup and Google Docs documenting the past few days for him, and while, sure, the fantasy elements are in overdrive when you consider Max and the Ancestors, Xzelion wears a pair of sunglasses that Edo made for him. And, speaking of Xzelion...

Chapter 20 said:
They crowded outside before I could pretend to attempt to stop them, and I followed with a grin on my face, actually quite excited at the prospect of watching Edo fight his descendant. Edo wasn't exactly the strongest- not in close quarters combat, anyways.

He was most efficient as a mid-to-long range combatant, though he was also quite effective at giving the rest of us a boost in combat.

That isn't to say he's weak, of course. The Lockheart Style was invented by him, based on inherited memories of swordsmen from another universe- yours.
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Some other quotes, too...

Chapter 1 said:
Trolls are not the only creatures beside humans that wander Trine, of course. We have our fair share of sea creatures, reptiles, mammals...also, we have gargantuan sea serpents and krakens and...

I’m not going to lie, if one of your fantasy authors came here, they’d die of pleasure.

One of the quickest differences you’ll notice, however, is in our skies. We have two moons- smaller than yours, but they do their jobs- and I reckon we’re about the same distance from our sun that you are from yours.

However, when you look into our skies at night, you won’t see any stars.

We’ve used telescopes and satellites and we still can’t find any.

Trine is just a planet in a galaxy in a distant universe, rotating around a lone star.
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Chapter Three said:
The waterfall descended from the floating island carrying Colony 132 and went directly to the portion of the ocean that was almost completely wrapped around by Meiro’s main continent. In the daytime, the view was incredible.

At night, it was serene. The moons reflected from the water like the starlight we had only seen in your memories, or in movies or video games. No matter how many times you saw the view, it never stopped being amazing.

I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

“Whoa.” I said.

“It is a nice view, isn’t it?” said a cold, unfamiliar voice.
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Chapter 21 said:
"What happened." Edo said, "That's what they did. Did you know that with a slight tweak of your brain chemistry, you could become a murderer yourself? Did you know that memories are just like files in a computer, except harder and easier to modify? If a file has been forged, a techie can find out. But if a memory is created...no, a brain cannot accept that a memory is false. To deny your memory is to deny yourself, and that's not something the human mind is capable of. All it takes is little tweaks...and people will believe anything."

I couldn't move.
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Intermission II said:
Wyatt was pretty sure that this was the shittiest eighteenth birthday imaginable, unaware that a boy in Colony 132 experienced his own shittiest birthday imaginable about a week after he did, an occasion marked by being stabbed, kidnapped, and murdered the day after.

After spending over half a month on the streets- and shortly after punching a grocery store owner through a wall- Wyatt Cen was encountered, once more, by his father.

"Hey." Alex said, dressed in clothes Wyatt wondered how he could afford, "Me and the other Great Beasts and our children are having a meeting!"

"...Yay?" Wyatt dug into the bag of things he had stolen, taking out a can of Faygo! Moon Mist and beginning to drink it.

"Actually, yeah! We might be able to get you a place a stay. Also, you're being hunted by Xzelion Lane and the other Ancestors for, uh, being my son."

"Sadaharu's hunting me, too?"

"Yup."

Wyatt looked at his Faygo and sighed.

"Guess I'll be coming with you, then." he said.
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Intermission 2 said:
On Lum, there was once an ancient temple built by an unknown God that gathered the elemental energy used by the universe itself to create nine beings of those energies- the Great Beasts.
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...among other examples of characters blatantly using smartphones and jamming to our music.

Why weren't there any objections before this evolved into a full-blown story element? This has been established for quite a while. And there are very, very plot important reasons that require Cecil Cynd to have lived on our Earth.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

Why weren't there any objections before this evolved into a full-blown story element?
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Like I said before, it was part of the charm - ya just go with it. Similarly, little asides like Xzelion's "inherited memories from your universe" comment in that first quote were a far cry from big, genre-shifted passages out of nowhere. BUT, if the RL connection's important then sure, keep it (although your earlier "there's...not a connection? this is just where "Cecil" happened to live before the world ended?" made it sound like it wasn't important, y'know). I was never saying the whole story should be rewritten anyway - it's just the one chapter I don't like. No need to get so worked up.


Also, afaik, there's nothing that says high fantasy can't also have technology:

[quote author=Wikipedia]High fantasy (also referred to as epic fantasy) is a sub-genre of fantasy fiction, defined either by its taking place in an imaginary world distinct from our own or by the epic stature of its characters, themes and plot.[/quote]

Some high fantasies also have ties with RL, but still take place contained in their own world or a world-within-a-world or what have you, so even the references all throughout the story wouldn't make it any less of a high fantasy.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

I had said "there wasn't a connection" when it came to America itself, not the fact he'd lived in our world before.

Regardless, my bad for not making that clear. It's an important element, so I'll be keeping it, but there shouldn't be any big genre shifts or whatever from here, so you guys should be fine.
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

the world is doomed

up next: awesome grudge match between max ii and the super evil/deadly/whatever serpents
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

max ii would get decimated by these guys

anyways, they're returning to their dormant state

this is just a single warning

they're only going to attack if the chimeras fail to kill Max

once they decide the world has run its course, they will end it

it is their job
 
Re: Project 132 - PART 3: PLANETARY DEVASTATION HAS BEGUN

oh, and for anybody interested, the Lockheart Residence is built to resemble Doge's Palace:

Doges-Palace-.jpg


so just imagine that at the top of a bleak, horrifically snowy mountain and you have the Lockheart Residence
 
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