Anton's Half-Baked Reviews

Re: Anton's Half-Baked Reviews / Dear Anton

19:29 Anton{Politoed} https://www.mariowiki.com/The_%27Shroom:Issue_137/Critic_Corner#Anton.27s_Half-Baked_Reviews
19:29 Anton{Politoed} everyone read my review
19:30 Anton{Politoed} an update from today: I want to a place called Quickly Boba & Snow and got some macarons for the first time as well as a tiger milk tea which i guess was thai and jasmine tea mixed together with regular tapioca boba
19:30 Anton{Politoed} it was very good and basically the first one I slurped down to its entirety
19:31 Anton{Politoed} it looked like a formal business that was filled with white people, but it didn't have the shitty cultural vulture vibe that Bubbleology gave off
19:31 Anton{Politoed} i would recommend it
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Re: Anton's Half-Baked Reviews / Dear Anton

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Burger King Halloween Gimmicks
I was hungry and out in public so I got these because I heard about them in the news about how they make your poop green. You can only get these through November 1st so if this inspires you to participate in capitalism then you've got just a few hours left!

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Nightmare King
This burger has been advertised as "clinically proven to induce nightmares" which is uhhhh.....no. That's kind of a stupid thing to say as it literally doesn't, and if it did would be irresponsible. "Burger King says it put the burger to the test and worked with the Paramount Trials and Florida Sleep & Neuro Diagnostic Services to conduct a sleep study. (...) According to previous studies, 4 percent of the population experiences nightmares in any given night,” said Dr. Jose Gabriel Medina, the study’s lead doctor, in a statement. “But, after eating the Nightmare King, the data obtained from the study indicated that the incidence of nightmares increased by 3.5 times." I guess I'll update you all on that. I get that it's Halloween and meant to be scary but just advertise it as turning your poop different colors since that's what people are buying it for. The burger consists of "a quarter pound of flame-grilled beef, a white meat crispy chicken fillet, melted American cheese, thick-cut bacon, creamy mayonnaise and onions on a glazed green sesame seed bun." Nothing really too different from one of their other standard menu items aside from the green bun. Please refer to my review this month to see me complain about this cop-out. Of course, I requested no mayo. It tastes pretty good, and like genuine food, which is already more than I was expecting, but it is surprisingly large. Due to the size alone I would say it's almost worth the price of like $6+, I don't remember. The green is very unimpressive, though, and just looks more like a concern for the Health Department more than anything spooky.

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Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry
It sure tasted like cherry, and even felt like it was carbonated; as if they just filtered cherry fanta through a slushie machine and added in a bunch of thick dye. This was less 'cough medicine cherry' and more '3 year old jolly rancher excavated from between the back seat cushions of the family caravan cherry', which was ok because it was sweet and flavorful enough to serve as a pairing with a meal instead of as a standalone dessert treat--McDonald's, take note. Details on whether this has any digestive magic are pending; inquire if you dare :boo:

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Re: Anton's Half-Baked Reviews / Dear Anton

Hey guys, time for me to flex

This summer I'm going to blow literally ALL of my money going on a trip to Paris because the opportunity presented itself and I don't think I could live with myself if I passed it up. Now, the reason I'm posting this here is because I have limited plans. I need things to try, things to do, things to see, and I will take those suggestions and turn them into a review or two later on down the road. If you have any ideas, such as choking on strange cheeses, being assaulted in a hammam for the sake of beauty, and vending machine baguettes, please let me know!
 
Re: Anton's Half-Baked Reviews / Dear Anton

2257 said:
i already told you what i think you should do but i asked my sister and she said "paris is known for shopping and art museums but he must know that already" and "i really liked the bus tour because you could ride around all day and get on and off wherever you wanted"
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We're gonna do some nighttime boat ride on the seine, and shopping is A+++++, I just uhhhhhhh don't know where. There's apparently some hugeass mall that's like the Celadon Department Store, as well as a Monoprix and Carrefour on every block, but I don't know what else to really look for or where. Even specific bakeries and food shops are hard to figure out which one is worthwhile without some kind of direction, as all of the guides online really only point towards the tippity top that I don't really need to go to and are just expensive tourist traps at this point.
 
Issue 150 - September 2019 - New York City, Part 4: Food

Thrilling conclusion to my 4-part summer series on New York City!


Also, this is a call for ideas! Sometime in the future I'm going to attack my own lifepoints directly and do a Foods I Decided I Didn't Like When I Was 8 And Never Gave Them A Fair Chance Ever Again Special! For various reasons that are almost all entirely traumatic family drama and a devastated childhood, there is a lot of basic stuff that I just can't stand at all! As is the nature of nightmarish youth where my innocence and joy was sucked out of me before I had a chance to use it, it continues to haunt me to this day! 🥳 🎉 Have you ever been thrown down a flight of stairs because you didn't want to finish your potato salad? I have! 📶🦴💥 Well now here I am at the ripe old age of 28, literally a chef, writing food reviews and want to actually get serious about it some point in the future, and I can honestly say things such as "I don't like soup." Which kinds of soups? I don't know, all of them! The concept of them! I need to break out of this! Below is a list of things I can quickly think up that I can't stand or don't like for some kind of nonsense reason that doesn't really hold up anymore. Please send me suggestions on any brands, types, recipes, whatever for any of these to try out as I take the first shot in literally almost 20 years of my existence in giving these an honest chance. Thanks!

*Mayo
-Chicken Salad
-Tuna Salad
-Potato Salad

*Mac & Cheese

*Tomatoes
-Ketchup
-Pasta Sauce
-On sandwiches or salads, etc.

*Soups

*Beans
-Baked
-Refried

*Spicy Peppers

*Coconut

*Applesauce

*Guacamole

*Ground Beef
-Most tacos, enchiladas, whatever

If you want to throw anything else into the mix, or gripe about stuff you're picky about, let me know! If you want me to try stuff that you really don't want to to see if I can give you sweet validation by agreeing with you that it tastes awful, tell me!
 
i don't know what your experience with macaroni and cheese is but personally i don't like boxed macaroni and cheese but fancy shit that gets baked after you cook it or whatever is cool

clam chowder and lobster bisque are great and if you don't like how soups are mostly a collection of pieces of soggy food floating in water you might find them more palatable because they're more like a big bowl of hot gloopy cum that you can scoop up with bread. potato soup too. and other chowders and bisques i guess but those are like the default ones in my brain

i make homemade baked beans from time to time, they're really noticeably different from canned but also take forever to make. i can't tell you my recipe because beyond the basic method that you can look up i just throw shit in until it seems good

if you start liking coconut i'm going to stop being friends with you

the problem with applesauce is that it's just watered down apple butter

sloppy joes are pretty good
 
also i just realized if you eat chili you can eat ground beef, spicy peppers, beans, soup, and tomatoes all at the same time, so that can be like, the final boss
 
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