Favorite TV Quotes

"Mmm...unexplained bacon."

-Homer Simpson
 
Bernard: What do you want.

Chris: I have a problem, and I need your help.

Bernard: I got my own problems.

Chris: I guarantee you they cannot be worse than mine.

Bernard: I'm failing math. I've got work to do. I don't have time for this.

Chris: Wait, you're not good at math?

Bernard: What, just because I'm Asian, I have to be good in math? You're black, can you moonwalk?

Chris: I didn't mean it like that. And no, I can't moonwalk.

Bernard: So, I can't use chopsticks!

Chris: I don't like watermelon!

Bernard: I can't make a swan out of paper.

Chris: I don't have sickle cell anemia.

Bernard: I don't own a dry cleaners.

Narrator: I bet you like rice!
 
"Now you've both been pun-ished!" - Meowth, Pokemon

Gotta love/hate 4Kids and their horrible or so cheesy it's funny puns.
 
Ms. Morello: Chris, I heard you've got a father! Cool!



"Leave the gun. Take the Pop-Tarts."

--Chris






P.S. 3333 posts! lolololol [/ralph]
 
"No soup for you"

- That Soup Nazi guy

(Thankfully I didn't quote that already in this thread...)
 
Narrator: I may have only been 13, but I already knew how racial profiling worked.

This is what the witness said:

[cutaway to crime scene]

Witness [To policeman]: He was a black male. Medium complexion, about 6 foot 4, 230 pounds, he had brown eyes, um, he was wearing, uh, a scout uniform with a yellow beanie, and he had on dark pants, and size 14 dark shoes.... and a birthmark! on the back of his left wrist. Oh, and-and-and, he walked with a limp.

Narrator: But this is what the cop heard:

Witness [To Policeman]: Um, he was black, and uh, black, black, black, black, um, black, black, and he um black black black black with a black black, and uh, he had black black, black black, and oh, a black, yeah. Oh, and he walked with a black.
 
"Any nut could have a computer! I HAVE A COMPUTER" - Ray, Sister Sister

"I never heard of a Japanese Indian" - Some kid, Leave it to Beaver
 
"The first time he showed it off,I thought he had a turkey bladder in his pants"-One of the old women,Golden girls.
 
Dale Gribble said:
"No soup for you"

- That Soup Nazi guy

(Thankfully I didn't quote that already in this thread...)
Click to expand...
Yes but I did.

"You walked out of Star Wars because their were too many words in the beginning" - Benny Lopez
 
"Luanne: Will this doll make my hand a slut?

Peggy: Yes, but it is for the sake of educating children." - King of the Hill
 
"He beat me up, and he called me a White cracker!
Can you believe this cracker?" - Caruso and the Narrator, EHC
 
^That one is from... Everybody Hates The Pilot, right?



Jerome (on a phone message on the answering machine) : Hey, little dude's father from across the street! Man, I just saw Oprah today, you were right, that's a baaaaad woman!
 
"Man, I'm so horny I can't think straight!" - Colin Mochrie

"Did you see the jugs on the girl in row 4?

*buzzer*

First lines of the worst poems ever written.

Did you see the jugs on the girl in row 4?" - Brad Sherwood, then Drew Carey, then Brad Sherwood again
 
[After Chris's family gets a new Dog]


Chris: Can we name him[The dog]?

Julius: He already has a name. ... Blackie.

Drew: ...But he's brown.

Julius: You black and you brown.
 
This task force will not sleep, or be deterred, until the gang's leader is apprehended. For the purpose of this case, we're calling him
"Mr. Cool"... a.k.a. Juicy Fruit
 
"We've assembled 43 songs on 1 CD. But it's a big one. And it's made of chocolate!" - Ryan Stiles, Whose Line is it Anyway
 
"Hot Sauce?"

--Everybody Hates the BFD
 
"I used to think Tsukasa and me were the same, but now I can see the difference. She's not as dumb" - Konata, Lucky Star
 
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