Look at it! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!

[GalacticPetey]

lol using the term "BC"

 

[Time Turner]

lol using the term "BC"

What gets me the most is that historical anachronisms and other oddities pop up in this game all the time, but then you get something like the following image:

This is an image of Aristotle from the PC Deluxe release of Mario's Time Machine. He's the one in the red robe, with his finger pointing upwards to the sky. If that rings any bells, that's because this is based on The School of Athens, a painting by the famous Renaissance artist Raphael that depicts several important figures from ancient Greece. And, standing right at the center, alongside his teacher, Plato, is Aristotle, in a red robe, with his finger pointing upwards. They actually bothered to include that detail (and not reference it at any point, may I add!), but then they have historical characters use the term "BC" before Christ was even born, or they'll use oddly specific terms to talk about how long a monument will last, or maybe character will talk about how Marco Polo is writing a book titled the "Book of Marco Polo" even though the closest thing in reality to that is a 1920 translated titled "The Book of Ser Marco Polo the Venetian", which is still miles away from the direct title of Marco Polo's actual book.

It's just... ugh!

 

[GalacticPetey]

Maybe it's a good thing I've never played this cause the History buff in me would take over and I'd be complaining about mundane stuff the whole time.

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

How would you alleviate the B.C. thing? Maybe the guy can talk about a certain date and Mario informs the kids that by today's terms, it's X B.C.?

It doesn't seem like they did much research in this thing. Just skimmed a timeline and gleaned some information on an encyclopedia and didn't bother putting care in it.

So, we can argue that even for this game's intended audience and educational standards, a much fairer way to judge the game in my opinion, it even fails there.

 

[Time Turner]

How would you alleviate the B.C. thing? Maybe the guy can talk about a certain date and Mario informs the kids that by today's terms, it's X B.C.?

I was thinking of something along those lines, but if I was actually at the helm of a history edutainment game, I would probably give the player some sort of helper or assistant. Maybe they're an advanced computer, but they bugged out while travelling through time, so they can only provide clarification and other tidbits as the player talks to other people and learns information. So, you could have the ancient Greek guy talk about dates in a context that makes sense for the time period, and the assistant can then clarify those dates into something that makes sense for the player.

I'll also take this time to point out in the PC version of the game, the final level, the game's "Bowser's Castle", is at the headquarters of the developers in 1994. You can only go here after completing the other twenty-four levels. Also, nobody's written a guide online for the PC-exclusive levels, so I need to genuinely play through this game and read every piece of dialogue if I want to actually make it to that level. What a delightful and completely modest reward.

 

[Daniel Dyce]

i would just like to point out that there is a colony of flat-earthers in the super mario series

this is official text from an official product

Are you implying the earth isn't flat?

 

[Time Turner]

i would just like to point out that there is a colony of flat-earthers in the super mario series

this is official text from an official product

Are you implying the earth isn't flat?

I meant nothing more and nothing less than what has been written.

 

[Time Turner]

mario is a silly series

 

[superwesleybros]

Does that mean Mario has a licence to kill now?

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

mario is a silly series

Ah, I remember this discussion with Glowsquid and Walkazo. Good memories.

 

[Princess Céline]

 

[Time Turner]

I know I keep posting this stuff here, but I need to reiterate that Mario is the most thickheaded individual to have ever existed across time and space. I was tempted to post another set of images where Mario recognized Francis Drake on sight but confused an armada for an armadillo, but this just takes the cake.

 

[Ray Trace]

That response sounds awfully rude to me. I think it's the rudest Mario has ever been.

 

[Magikrazy]

Besides trying to kill Donkey Kong Jr. for coming to free his father.

But knowing you, you probably wouldn't count that as rude.

 

[Mister Wu]

Img
mario is a silly series

I'm still waiting for him to use said gun

 

[Time Turner]

Besides trying to kill Donkey Kong Jr. for coming to free his father.

But knowing you, you probably wouldn't count that as rude.

Donkey Kong was the one who tried killing Mario first, plus he also kidnapped Pauline. Keeping a dangerous criminal from escaping is not all that bad.

 

[Fawfulthegreat64]

If he was a human maybe, but animals are a different story. I wouldn't call an animal a 'criminal'

(At this point in the series they hadn't really started having characters beyond humans and apes, such as Bowser or Toad, and the stories indicated that this was meant to be in a more realistic world than Mario is today)

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

If he was a human maybe, but animals are a different story. I wouldn't call an animal a 'criminal'

That's speciesist.

Last time I checked, Mario's 100% animal too, just with more clothes.

DK is also sentient and so should also be subject to the same rules and laws Mario is.

 

[Time Turner]

(At this point in the series they hadn't really started having characters beyond humans and apes, such as Bowser or Toad, and the stories indicated that this was meant to be in a more realistic world than Mario is today)

Ah, yes, the realistic world of an ape throwing barrels at a carpenter on a construction site with balls of fire running around.

 

[Ray Trace]

Let's stop kidding around, we all saw a real carpenter use mallets to break rolling barrels near a pie factory at one point in our lives.

 

[Fawfulthegreat64]

Gameplay/story segregation. Even the artwork is more realistic than today's Mario.

If it took place today yeah DK would be considered a criminal if he didn't show signs of regret at the end (like he did in the Mario vs. DK series)

but as far as the arcade games go, I'm pretty sure Mario wasn't exactly innocent to lock up DK in the manner that he did, especially with a whip, maybe punish him in a way you'd punish a pet for misbehavior. But I wouldn't count that as GAME THEORY MARIO IS EVIL since it's just early installment weirdness.

 

[Ray Trace]

I'm not sure what methods are used to control rowdy gorillas, but if a whip was necessary to keep him under control, especially from kidnapping damsels as well as locking him up, I don't think it's particularly bad in Mario's part either.

If it took place today yeah DK would be considered a criminal if he didn't show signs of regret at the end (like he did in the Mario vs. DK series)

If he showed regret after committing a crime, he'd still be considered a criminal regardless of how he felt afterwards or not.

 

[Time Turner]

Even the artwork is more realistic than today's Mario.

 

[LeftyGreenMario]

My headcanon is that Mario did mistreat Donkey Kong, but it was out of complete exasperation. As for WHY Mario would own a pet gorilla and WHY the city is fine with that, that escapes me. Maybe he read The Onion and decided he should assert his government-given rights to defend himself. As Time Turner said, Mario is pretty dense.

Hey, guys, if Donkey Kong is supposed to be Cranky Kong, then why is Mario here balding and is said to be middle-aged?

And later on, Mario isn't balding and is supposed to be 26?

 

[Time Turner]

Maybe the Donkey Kong game actually features DK Senior vs. Mario Senior. Donkey Kong upgraded to Cranky Kong, and Mario Senior did the sensible thing and ran away from the killer apes, leaving his son to fend for himself.