Dear Waluigi Time

Dear Waluigi Time,

In just a few weeks, I'll be heading out and hiding Easter Eggs all over the Mushroom Kingdom for all the children to find. But once they find everything, they grab me tightly, demanding presents like chocolate and candy! It's really doing a number on my self-esteem lately, so now I'm worried about how I can do my job without losing my sanity. Please help me, and I might reward you with a giant Easter Basket for your troubles!

Sincerely, The Easter Rabbid.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I have had a predicament of sorts plaguing my mind as of late. Many heated debates with my friends have ended with neither of us giving in to the reasoning of the other. It is of vital importance and will settle perhaps the world's largest dispute. I am coming to you with this because you are the cereal king and therefore have experience with breakfast foods.

Pancakes or waffles? (There is an obvious right choice.)
-Mags
Dear Waluigi Time,

Pancakes or waffles? (Choose wisely.)
-Mags
 
Waluigi Time said:
Have you ever needed the dubious advice of a cereal magnate to solve life's problems? Is one of your OCs struggling with something and somehow unable to find anyone more qualified to turn to? Do you just like goofy 'Shroom sections? Well good news, The 'Shroom's latest advice column, Dear Waluigi Time, is here, and ready for your questions!

I'll be giving "advice" on about three questions per issue. I will generally be answering only one question per user in a single issue to make it fair, but feel free to submit as many questions as you want at a time. Questions can be submitted from the perspective of yourself, your original character, a character you like, your dog... Just about anyone, really!

I'll try to answer as many questions as I can, although obviously I can't get to everyone right away. If I've decided to completely reject a question, I will inform you and let you know why.

Guidelines:
  • Don't submit questions as another user's original character without permission. Mentioning someone else's OC is generally okay, as long as they're not being used in ways the creator wouldn't want.
    • Using a pre-existing character that another user has used as a roleplay is fine, as long as you aren't using their specific portrayal. (Example: A user decides to roleplay as Bugs Bunny in a mafia game. It's okay for you to submit a question as Bugs Bunny, as long as you aren't clearly trying to be that version of the character by referencing other characters or events from that game.)
  • Please avoid asking questions as figures that are likely to be controversial. If you're unsure about this, feel free to ask me before submitting.
  • Be respectful of real people.
  • Remember that this is just a comedic 'Shroom section, and shouldn't be used as a substitute for actual advice. If you have a legitimate problem that you need help with, this isn't the place for it.

If you can't or don't want to submit your questions here on the forums, you can also contact me on my wiki talk page or ping me in the Super Mario Wiki Discord server.
Click to expand...

Waluigi Time said:
Have you ever needed the dubious advice of a cereal magnate to solve life's problems? Is one of your OCs struggling with something and somehow unable to find anyone more qualified to turn to? Do you just like goofy 'Shroom sections? Well good news, The 'Shroom's latest advice column, Dear Waluigi Time, is here, and ready for your questions!

I'll be giving "advice" on about three questions per issue. I will generally be answering only one question per user in a single issue to make it fair, but feel free to submit as many questions as you want at a time. Questions can be submitted from the perspective of yourself, your original character, a character you like, your dog... Just about anyone, really!

I'll try to answer as many questions as I can, although obviously I can't get to everyone right away. If I've decided to completely reject a question, I will inform you and let you know why.

Guidelines:
  • Don't submit questions as another user's original character without permission. Mentioning someone else's OC is generally okay, as long as they're not being used in ways the creator wouldn't want.
    • Using a pre-existing character that another user has used as a roleplay is fine, as long as you aren't using their specific portrayal. (Example: A user decides to roleplay as Bugs Bunny in a mafia game. It's okay for you to submit a question as Bugs Bunny, as long as you aren't clearly trying to be that version of the character by referencing other characters or events from that game.)
  • Please avoid asking questions as figures that are likely to be controversial. If you're unsure about this, feel free to ask me before submitting.
  • Be respectful of real people.
  • Remember that this is just a comedic 'Shroom section, and shouldn't be used as a substitute for actual advice. If you have a legitimate problem that you need help with, this isn't the place for it.

If you can't or don't want to submit your questions here on the forums, you can also contact me on my wiki talk page or ping me in the Super Mario Wiki Discord server.
Click to expand...
To Waluigi Time do you know of any gluten free meals a ghost might enjoy? Sincerely Boo1268
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

Cayde and I are getting married! What location would be best suited for our wedding where nothing can go wrong? (And I mean absolutely NOTHING can go wrong at our wedding…)

-Zerris
 
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Dear Waluigi time I'm taking a trip to rouge port and I heard its a bit shady so do have any advice about what I should look out for on my trip?
 
'Sup, dawg? There's this stunnin' babe who's always havin' a juice at the Glitzville Fresh Juice Shop, an' I got a little thing for her, but I don't know how to tell her. You got any tips on how to get her to like me, man?

- KP Pete/King K
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door has several memorable locations. How would you rank each of them based on how much you'd like to live there?

Sincerely, Enthused Tourist
 
Dear Waluigi Time,
I've been studying about these magic hourglasses and I've been trying to collect them all but some mustachioed red-hooded girl has been stealing them saying that she's been trying to "Get rid of Bad Guys."
As a bad guy myself I feel I'm in danger.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

Soon, I'll be writing a section for a strange, elusive paper and I hope to do well. Seeing how you write such popular sections in another paper, I'm asking you for a couple tips, because I'm nervous and don't want to mess up. How smartly worded should my writing be, or should it be typically written as if I'm writing an essay? And just any other advice you have would be very helpful to the cause...

Sincerely,
A Distraught Writer
 
Dear Waluigi Time I recently acquired 40 Coconuts but now I don't know what to do with them I can't eat them all and I can't just leave them here to rot so what do I do?
-Cocatan the Coconut Crab
 
Dear Waluigi Time:
For years i've been trying to eliminate a certain proprietor of a certain cereal company so that I could seize control of the company and more importantly the proprietor's vast fortune. Yet despite my best efforts my traps, tricks, and schemes constantly fail. Do you have any advice for how I could eliminate that irritating nitwit once and for all.

Sincerely,
Sholvester Shoekly
 
Dear Waluigi Time,
I got my magic hourglasses back from the mustachioed girl (sorta a small 2 curled each sided mustache) but now this one eyed triangle with a hat appeared in my room and he wants to make a deal with me, should I accept his deal or not?
-----The Donut
 
Dear Waluigi Time
Hello Good chap its me Boo1268 and i think this problem relates to all of the shroom sections becuase i acidentally opend a spooky looking chest in the basement and now theres a BUNCH of spirtis everywere and while i enjoy some spooky good company THIS IS TOO MUCH so i think the shroom is haunted so uh WHAT DO WE DO MY GOODMAN!?
 
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Dear Waluigi Time,

I need some advice on something. It's my boyfriend's birthday this month and I don't know what to get him! What gifts do you recommend that involve Waluigi Time Cereal or science fiction? He likes that stuff the most.

— Cayde S.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I fear there has been a bit of an incident. You see, our laboratory was to play host to a special spooky Halloween celebration teaching children the fundamentals of botany using pumpkins. Unfortunately, the shipment has come in, and... due to a, ahem, clerical error, instead we have received a shipment of live Splunkins! Now, obviously pumpkin carving is right out, but do you have any suggestions for how we might salvage this event?

---- With great urgency, yours truly,
W. P. Hoodington
 
Deer Waluigi Time,

Stop staring at my headlights, I have serious business that needs to be dealt with and you're blocking the road. I'm carbon footprintmaxxing and you fantastical fauna of Gaia keep cramping my laissez faire cartoon villainy aesthetic, bro. Mr.Incompetens Negotiumidae, if you're gonna just be a nuisance, could you, like, pollute your own ecosystem for me? That would specifically only serve to make me feel good, which is the raison d'etre of all life. Displease and damn you!

P.S. I have attached subliminal factory smog to this note, you will experience the sensation of your lungs being filled with smoke with the destructive force of an irreverent oil tycoon's business decisions.

--Immorally, unethically, Robotnik.
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Dear Waluigi Time,

So, quite some time ago, I met this strange black-robed guy who just warped into existence and asked me for chicken teeth, which was an incredible coincidence as a teethed chicken had just hatched that morning. He then told me I should start to mass-produce these chickens, and so I did - but they don't really sell that well, and also the toothed chickens have a tendency to eat each other. So I'm almost broke and I was going to ask you what to do, but then I realised that this actually never happened because my timeline seems to have been erased! What do I do NOW?!

-- a very confused Toad farmer
 
Dear Waluigi Time, me and Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings and the rest of Bowser's minions are feeling a bit down. We feel like failures because we can never beat the Mario Bros and Bowser sees us as failures and always yells at us when we mess up. How can we improve so that we can be more efficient as villains and make him proud and FINALLY defeat those annoying plumbers? Sincerely, Ludwig Von Koopa.

PS also we need a weapons-tech expert so we can come up with a devastating weapon that can destroy the Mario Bros. as quickly as possible like a explosive detonator-tipped Bullet Bill or something. None of us is smart or skilled enough to build something like that on our own.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,
I decided to take the deal then all of a sudden me and the triangle got warped to what looks like Peach's castle but we look like Mario and Luigi, a text box then popped up saying "Welcome to Mario Wonderland! If you're felling the adventurous sort, check out the castle ahead." I have a feeling I remember this sorta thing.
 
Dear Waluigi Time I Wanted to get all the fake news writers a gift for Christmas but I don't know what everyone likes! And I'm worried they won't like what I get them or maybe what I get them won't be good enough so what do I do? - Boo1268 The "Festive" Phantom
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I've been struggling with my job recently. I'm expected to find perpetrators responsible for time anomalies, but I haven't been able to locate any of them! Would you happen to know anyone who's been messing with the chronological fabric of our world?

-TC Officer 27
 
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