Dear Waluigi Time

Dear Waluigi Time,

Can you please get me some sort of potion or something to make my idiot brothers Morton and Lemmy and Iggy and Larry drink to make them smart and not completely unintelligent like they are now? Their stupidity and immaturity is such an annoyance to me; no wonder the Mario Brothers always defeat us; me and Ludwig are the only intelligent and sane ones! I mean everyone knows Iggy has always been technically completely insane anyway.....

-Wendy O. Koopa

PS-even if you make my dumb siblings smart enough to defeat the Mario Brothers I still don't think it'll be enough to prevent our stupid boss Bowser Koopa from failing at yet ANOTHER one of his evil plans. Maybe I should be queen of the Koopas instead of him.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I've been dealing with low business income for years in spite of having a large number of customers coming in on a daily basis, with the majority of these customers coming in to meet with one of my regulars, an unnamed yet beautiful female Toad rather than having a drink. What do you suggest I should do to improve my business income?

- Podler of the Glitzville Fresh Juice Shop
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

We're running low on Oran Berries, so we went out on a Mystery Dungeon adventure to get some. However, we seemed to have fallen into one of those Monster Houses filled to the brim with Dittos! Dittos know transform, so basically a bunch of copies of me, Charmander, and Chikorita attacked us. What's the best way we can deal with...erm, ourselves?

- Squirtle and the other members of Team Go-Getters
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

This "Sam" guy has trapped me in his game show demanding I answer questions for points, and every time I think it's over, it starts over again with a new format! How do I free myself from this endless cycle, the never ending hell, that is the Game Changer thread on marioboards.com.

Sincererely, a distressed forum user.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
 
The_Donut1987 said:
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
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Unfortunately, I'm going to have to reject this question per this guideline that I set for follow-ups:
Waluigi Time said:
Occasionally, users have asked follow-up questions (i.e. "I followed your advice and this happened, now what?"). Doing this is totally fine, but please try to be sparing with these. I like to answer them as soon as possible so the original question is still fairly fresh in the minds of readers, but I also want to keep it fair and leave room for everyone to have questions answered. Follow-ups should be limited to 1-2 additional questions at most, and probably shouldn't be done every time a question you submit gets answered.
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Please don't take this personally - I do appreciate your engagement with my section and I hope to see you back another time. (If it's any consolation, I don't think I would've been able to come up with anything too interesting in response anyway.)
 
Dear Waluigi Time

A few days ago, Lord Bowser commanded me- er, asked me kindly to investigate the appearance of Mario in the Koopa Kingdom. Naturally, I used my wand to rewind time, and to my surprise, there were no sight of Mario or his green sibling anywhere on our grounds. However, I later discovered garlic and yellow fibers around the castle. There's been an unbearable stench that yours truly keeps getting blamed for, and there's been weird noises and grunts echoing in the halls. Am I going crazy or is there someone hiding within our castle walls that could be confused for our sworn enemy, I mean uh, neutral acquaintance?

-Kamek
 
The_Donut1987 said:
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
Click to expand...
MLB_Starlow.png

This is Starlow. She will tell you what to do. She gets easily annoyed by Luigi, but "Luigi" got you in this anyways.

Please do not ask any more follow-up questions here.
 
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Dear Waluigi Time,

So, uh, I have a problem. Well, obviously I do, otherwise I wouldn't be asking for help. So there's these two guys who I fired from The Sunshine Travel Agency, one called Bar D. Jokue and the other called Guy. Apparently they have grown bitter with time, and are seeking vengeance against me (they said so in a monologue). I was wondering if you knew how to deal with bitter guys who are trying to kill you and stuff. Please hurry I can hear them outside

-Cosmo, esteemed travel guide writer

P.S What should I put in my last will and testament?
 
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