Dear Waluigi Time

Dear Waluigi Time,

Can you please get me some sort of potion or something to make my idiot brothers Morton and Lemmy and Iggy and Larry drink to make them smart and not completely unintelligent like they are now? Their stupidity and immaturity is such an annoyance to me; no wonder the Mario Brothers always defeat us; me and Ludwig are the only intelligent and sane ones! I mean everyone knows Iggy has always been technically completely insane anyway.....

-Wendy O. Koopa

PS-even if you make my dumb siblings smart enough to defeat the Mario Brothers I still don't think it'll be enough to prevent our stupid boss Bowser Koopa from failing at yet ANOTHER one of his evil plans. Maybe I should be queen of the Koopas instead of him.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I've been dealing with low business income for years in spite of having a large number of customers coming in on a daily basis, with the majority of these customers coming in to meet with one of my regulars, an unnamed yet beautiful female Toad rather than having a drink. What do you suggest I should do to improve my business income?

- Podler of the Glitzville Fresh Juice Shop
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

We're running low on Oran Berries, so we went out on a Mystery Dungeon adventure to get some. However, we seemed to have fallen into one of those Monster Houses filled to the brim with Dittos! Dittos know transform, so basically a bunch of copies of me, Charmander, and Chikorita attacked us. What's the best way we can deal with...erm, ourselves?

- Squirtle and the other members of Team Go-Getters
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

This "Sam" guy has trapped me in his game show demanding I answer questions for points, and every time I think it's over, it starts over again with a new format! How do I free myself from this endless cycle, the never ending hell, that is the Game Changer thread on marioboards.com.

Sincererely, a distressed forum user.
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
 
The_Donut1987 said:
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to reject this question per this guideline that I set for follow-ups:
Waluigi Time said:
Occasionally, users have asked follow-up questions (i.e. "I followed your advice and this happened, now what?"). Doing this is totally fine, but please try to be sparing with these. I like to answer them as soon as possible so the original question is still fairly fresh in the minds of readers, but I also want to keep it fair and leave room for everyone to have questions answered. Follow-ups should be limited to 1-2 additional questions at most, and probably shouldn't be done every time a question you submit gets answered.
Click to expand...
Please don't take this personally - I do appreciate your engagement with my section and I hope to see you back another time. (If it's any consolation, I don't think I would've been able to come up with anything too interesting in response anyway.)
 
Dear Waluigi Time

A few days ago, Lord Bowser commanded me- er, asked me kindly to investigate the appearance of Mario in the Koopa Kingdom. Naturally, I used my wand to rewind time, and to my surprise, there were no sight of Mario or his green sibling anywhere on our grounds. However, I later discovered garlic and yellow fibers around the castle. There's been an unbearable stench that yours truly keeps getting blamed for, and there's been weird noises and grunts echoing in the halls. Am I going crazy or is there someone hiding within our castle walls that could be confused for our sworn enemy, I mean uh, neutral acquaintance?

-Kamek
 
The_Donut1987 said:
Dear Waluigi Time,

We've been wandering through this castle for days collecting red stars and made it to somewhere called the Eternal Fort, but there's 2 semi old people that "Luigi" immediately recognized, so now it's me and "Luigi" VS 2 semi old people and Bowser. What strats should we use?
-The Donut
P.S I made a bet to a shadowy figure that looks like Luigi (the real one) that we could defeat Bowser so please help us.
Click to expand...
MLB_Starlow.png

This is Starlow. She will tell you what to do. She gets easily annoyed by Luigi, but "Luigi" got you in this anyways.

Please do not ask any more follow-up questions here.
 
Last edited:
Dear Waluigi Time,

So, uh, I have a problem. Well, obviously I do, otherwise I wouldn't be asking for help. So there's these two guys who I fired from The Sunshine Travel Agency, one called Bar D. Jokue and the other called Guy. Apparently they have grown bitter with time, and are seeking vengeance against me (they said so in a monologue). I was wondering if you knew how to deal with bitter guys who are trying to kill you and stuff. Please hurry I can hear them outside

-Cosmo, esteemed travel guide writer

P.S What should I put in my last will and testament?
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

Howdy! Ah'm used ta sendin' letters by scrolls, but lately Ah've grown rather fond of usin' this here thing called "the internet". I dunno how it works exactly, but it sure beats havin' to get a dragon! I can do it by maself!

Anyway, this isn't what'd ya call a "Friendship Lesson", but rather an "advice seekin' situation". See, my family was mailed this strange relic never seen in the history of Equestria - somethin' called a "Nintendo Switch" if I recall. Not only that, but there was a container wrapped in plastic. I looked on the cover and it read "''Super Mario Party''".

My big sis spent about an hour gettin' the dang thing to work, and I'd say she did a really great job at figurin' it out! We were the only ones home at the time, but we made the decision ta try out this "''Super Mario Party''". Usin' these strange colorful remotes we navigated the menus and got to choose these strange creatures to represent us? I can't think of their names at the moment, but I do remember selectin' this bipedal turtle wearin' shoes while Applejack chose the one with the ponytail - she liked her. Turns out, this is a mega fun party game! We should invite Pinkie Pie over next time.

Well… it would've been a mega fun party game if we knew 'ow to properly hold these colorful remotes. They just fly off our hooves even when we put on the "safety strap"! This might not've been made with ponies in mind. Do you have a solution as to how ta use them to their full potential? Pressin' the buttons is also tougher than pickin' apples durin' a thunderstorm.

The reason Ah'm askin' you and not Princess Twilight is because we saw a fancy purple fellow in overalls dancin' during one of the minigames we played. You look almost identical to him - are you two the same character or am I seein' double? Perhaps it was a sign to contact you as you might know somethin' about this. Whatever the reasoning is, Ah really hope you can solve our problem. How exactly do we use the remotes correctly?

  • Sincerely, Apple Bloom
 
Dear Waluigi Time,

I got into a bit of family drama last night because I haven't been able to contact my little sister lately, due to a combination of efforts to graduate from high school and self-care/preservation attempts. My aunt turned my attempts at solving the initial problem of not contacting my sister into the drama. A bit of background, My bio-mom and aunt did some pretty nasty stuff to me and my sisters in the past and I still haven't forgiven her, although both my sisters claim she's changed, and my little sister lives with my aunt. (I don't buy into that BS) I got some help from my Grandma, Boyfriend, Dad, and Stepmom, but I'm still deeply upset about it. I love my little sister, but I don't want to speak to my aunt again for fear of a repeat of last night. What should I do?

-Nellie IRL
(Creator-To-Creator note: I know this is a serious ask, but I'm only hoping WT's response provides a good laugh so I stop feeling as bad about it)
 
Nellie Rose Morningstar said:
Dear Waluigi Time,

I got into a bit of family drama last night because I haven't been able to contact my little sister lately, due to a combination of efforts to graduate from high school and self-care/preservation attempts. My aunt turned my attempts at solving the initial problem of not contacting my sister into the drama. A bit of background, My bio-mom and aunt did some pretty nasty stuff to me and my sisters in the past and I still haven't forgiven her, although both my sisters claim she's changed, and my little sister lives with my aunt. (I don't buy into that BS) I got some help from my Grandma, Boyfriend, Dad, and Stepmom, but I'm still deeply upset about it. I love my little sister, but I don't want to speak to my aunt again for fear of a repeat of last night. What should I do?

-Nellie IRL
(Creator-To-Creator note: I know this is a serious ask, but I'm only hoping WT's response provides a good laugh so I stop feeling as bad about it)
Click to expand...
I know you're not looking for actual advice here, but I'm not comfortable making light of an actual serious situation, especially when it's something like this that has potential to hit close to home for other readers. Sorry. I hope you can get proper help for this and that things turn around.
 
Waluigi Time said:
I know you're not looking for actual advice here, but I'm not comfortable making light of an actual serious situation, especially when it's something like this that has potential to hit close to home for other readers. Sorry. I hope you can get proper help for this and that things turn around.
Click to expand...
I understand. Thanks anyway
 
(I'll do one for funny now)

Dear Waluigi Time,

I wanna take my partner out on a date this weekend, but I'm having a bit of an issue deciding where I wanna take him. Right now I'm between 5 Guys, Red Lobster, The Moon, Raising Cane's, that place with the thing, Disneyland Paris, Macayo's, and Chernobyl. Where do you think we should go?

-Nellie Morningstar
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back