Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[Iggy Koopa Jr]

Granted, you die of old age 2 seconds after.



I wish for destruction

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, it's your own destruction.

I wish I could meet Spongebob.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, only in the water.

I wish I could visit a Haunted Mansion.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, you die and are the one haunting it.

I wish everyone was immortal, and could not die.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, everybody is banished to the netherworld for being immortal.

I wish I was in a sticky situation.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, you are stuck in a giant wad of Patrick's chewed gum.

I wish to combine the Dark Star's power with the Chaos Heart, creating a huge cataclysm and becoming an all-powerful dark lord.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, the power of the Star Spirits prevent it.

I wish I had a distant piano

 

[Lord Bowser]

Granted, but it falls on your head.

I wish I was the leader of a vast, glorious, practically unbeatable empire.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, and it is stomped by a vaster, more glorious, completely unbeatable empire.

I wish I was taller.

 

[Lord Bowser]

Granted, but you're so tall your head is touching the Moon.

I wish I lived in Poshley Heights.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, but Goldbob sues you and you lose everything.

I wish I had billions of dollars that I don't lose and can spend any way I want.

 

[Lord Bowser]

Granted, but you blow them all at a casino.

I wish 's would get their own game.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, their name appears in the title of the game "Goomba Stomp N Romp" in which the objective is to Stomp as many as possible.

I wish for a slowly smooshing under my foot.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, but you get sued by that 's lawyer.

I wish I could visit Beanbean Castle.

 

[Recon-Seven]

Granted, but you have been execution for being foreign.

I wish if I were in world of Minecraft.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, but since you didn't type the, you are sent to an uncanny crossover of world of warcraft and minecraft.

I wish I could visit Teehee Valley.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, you are attacked by Trunkle.

I wish I had more hair.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, I rip it all out.

I wish I could take over Bowser Castle.

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, you take it over, then a day later, returns and takes it back rather violently.

I wish I could squish a in the most graphic and bloody way imaginable.

 

[UltraMario]

Granted, you are banned from this forum for gore.

I wish I was a better Mario Kart racer than .

 

[Wittgenstein]

Granted, you turn into

.
(sorry had to)
I wish I could go to space.

 

[Recon-Seven]

Granted, but your spaceship is destroyed and found yourself died in freeze.

I wish if Fawful becomes new leader of the world.

 

[NotABannableOffense]

Granted, but that man is batshit crazy.

I wish I had more lemonade.

 

[Wittgenstein]

granted, it contains a bomb

i wish for ice cream

 

[Lord Bowser]

Granted, it's poison-flavor.

I wish for pi.