Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but you are immediately assimilated.

I wish I could be a badnik.

 

[Emo Furcorn]

You are immediately crushed by sonic.

Man, I wish my story could get commented on.

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but the comments are rude.

I don't want to be sick anymore, it's killing me!

 

[Emo Furcorn]

(Woohoo! Bad attention is still attention!)
Granted, BUT you have to change your avatar.

I wish my dog wouldn't peepee on the couch

 

[Power Flotzo]

Granted. Your dog pees on your leg instead.

I wish for a way to predict various gacha games' schedules months ahead of time.

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, BUT you have to change your avatar.

And what is so bad about that?

Granted, but all these games suck.

I wish there were ways to cure the COVID-19 pandemic using a simple button.

 

[Emo Furcorn]

Easy. It was a joke about how you almost never seem to change your profile picture.

 

[Bugzzy]

Easy. It was a joke about how you almost never seem to change your profile picture.

I change it when I change my username!

 

[Mario Enjoyer]

Granted, but it's by replacing it a worse virus.

I wish I could fly.

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but you immediately crash into an active volcano.

I want to breathe water.

 

[MiracleDinner]

Granted, but it's incredibly uncomfortable

I want to play video games with Sweetie Belle

 

[Mario Enjoyer]

Granted, but after one second of gaming she explodes.


I wish to have a stick made of solid gold.

 

[Thomas the Tank Engine]

Granted, unfortunately due to an impending economic crisis, a new law is passed forbidding the private ownership of any and all gold, so you have to turn it in to the government or else you'll face a fine or jailtime.

I wish Thomas Wooden Railway sets weren't so expensive.

 

[Sweet Snow]

Granted but they are now from easily breakable cheap stuff

I wish my dad didn't turn everything into politics everytime I talk to him

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but it turns into lava instead.

I want ten thousand dollars.

 

[MiracleDinner]

Granted, but those dollars are in a very obscure currency

I want good grades on my university research project

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but you flunk everything else.

I want to be invincible.

 

[Kerrigan]

Granted, but you're only invincible to one very specific form of attack that will barely ever come up.

I wish me and my boyfriend would find a good apartment that we can afford.

 

[Mario Enjoyer]

Granted, but both you and your boyfriend blow up.

I wish I could delete stuff from existence.

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but you accidentally delete yourself.

I want to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom.

 

[Kerrigan]

Granted, but everyone sees you as an evil dictator and you get a horrible reputation for it.

I wish I'll do well on my German exam tomorrow.

 

[Emo Furcorn]

Granted, but you'll forget to write your name on the paper

I wish I could have a nice lunch.

 

[Kerrigan]

Granted, but all your meals tomorrow will be awful.

I wish I could wear my Shy Guy mask in class.

 

[Bugzzy]

Granted, but they hit you with a turnip.

I want to have a good memory.

 

[Mario Enjoyer]

Granted, but you immediately do something embarrassing. Now you'll never forget.

I wish I could summon infinite pizza.