Good wishes aren't always good wishes

[Spaceman Spiff]

Granted, but now you have no happy days and only hard times.
I wish I had art skills.

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but you never get to use your skills.

I wish I could fast forward through life.

 

[SparksMarioWiki]

Your wish is granted, but you fast forward to when you die.

I wish I could revert my username back to SparksMarioWiki.

 

[Christmas Who?]

Your wish is granted, but you fast forward to when you die.

I wish I could revert my username back to SparksMarioWiki.

Granted, you change your name to SporksMarioWiki.

I wish to be the king and queen of cheese.

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, you change your name to SporksMarioWiki.

I wish to be the king and queen of cheese.

Granted, but the evil prince of pepper jack eats everything, and the common cheese people pull a coup d'etat, locking you in a giant cheese wheel for the rest of your life

I wish for an anchovy pizza

 

[Primarina]

granted but it's frozen.

I wish Ky Kiske were a canon trans woman

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but Johnny is a canon homophobe

I wish I could fly

 

[Kerrigan]

Granted, but what that actually means is that you can just get on a plane.

I wish there were more restaurants in walking distance of my apartment.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Granted, but they're always closed.
I wish I didn't have to come up with a wish.

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but the wish that gets wished for you is terrible

I wish for some pet hippopotamuses, please and thank you!

 

[Roy "Bully" Koopa]

Granted, but one of the hippopotamuses accidentally steps on your foot and crushes it. Now you have a broken foot because a 300-pound hippopotamus stomped on it with their foot. I wish the world was made of pizza.....

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but it immediately gets moldy and everything smells gross

I wish to be famous

 

[Zdrmonster Productions]

Granted, now you have to make a YouTuber apology video because you said an obvious joke 5 years ago.

I wish for a Tandy 1000SX.

 

[Roy "Bully" Koopa]

Granted, but when you get it, it's broken and doesn't work, and worse than that, it's so old that Radio Shack won't fix it for you. I wish Larry Koopa was the hero of the Super Mario franchise and it was called "Super Larry" instead.

 

[Zdrmonster Productions]

Granted, but now you're being hunted by Sonic the Hedgehog for making that wish.

I wish I can uncancel anyone on Twitter.

 

[Kerrigan]

Granted, but it results in getting canceled yourself over and over until you lose any semblance of credibility.

I wish my finals were done.

 

[Christmas Who?]

Granted, you have unlocked the Super Finals.

I wish every Cartoon Netowrk show was on Max

 

[merriexmas]

Granted, but the shows have 240p resolution.

I wish that the Care Bears were real.

 

[Zdrmonster Productions]

Granted, but there are also Anti-Care Bears that prey on you.

I wish I know what graphics.com does aside from being 19742 bytes.

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but you realize that it actually redirects to a phishing website (like it does in real life) and all your cash money gets stolen.

I wish it was warmer out.

 

[Zdrmonster Productions]

Granted, but it's so hot that it somehow melts your solid body into a puddle in a similar way to slime melting.

I wish I can install a TSR that prevents modification of EXE files to prevent viruses from spreading.

 

[MegaBowser64]

Granted, but now viruses spread through jpg files!!

I wish days were longer.

 

[Zdrmonster Productions]

Granted, but now viruses spread through jpg files!!

I wish days were longer.

Granted, nights are longer to compensate.

I wish I could have a PS4 with the firmware needed to run PS4Linux.

 

[Fizzle]

Granted, but it will be stolen by Wario in 3 days

I wish I could remember my dreams just long enough to write it down instead of forgetting them shortly after waking up

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Granted, but you don't dream anymore.

I wish I had the Lego Zelda set.