Suicide League (Superhero fan story) Cancelled

Do you think i should start writing this again

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 62.5%

  • No

    Votes: 1 12.5%

  • I don't care

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Total voters
    8
  • Poll closed .
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Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) Second chapter has been released

Okay. Well, suddenly the tense switches to past tense. This doesn't make sense and basically implies that this is a flashback. There isn't a whole lot of description:
Uniju went to the address left on the note and found himself at an old house that looked like it had been abandoned years ago. Upon entering the house, he was surprised to find the other rejected heroes there as well.
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How did Uniju get there? What did the house look like: did it have rotten planks, peeling paint? Where in the house were the rejects, and which ones were they? These are things you need to describe as an author.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) Second chapter has been released

But that's not a good team
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Indeed what did you think of the rest of it
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

The first part was okay, the last paragraph tied it up neatly, but the middle part was incredibly lame; This part is a crappy version of some mystery story. The villain gave in too quickly even though more common sense things can be used in order to steer the gang away from suspicion of him. The scene seems unrealistic and the motive was incredibly dumb. The scene of the death of The Premium Yoshi and the mourning of him didn't quite match up. Usually when describing the death of a character that the protagonist(s) cared about (in any sense) the description is not going to be just one measly small sentence (TPY's death went by too quickly and randomly), it's going to be vividly described with [full] emotions of one of the characters like if it's happening in slow motion. Now if that was implemented, the mourning scene will match-up real nicely. You worked on the appearance of the story, but now you'll have to work on the grammar and description of the story.

2.7/5


Also pseudo-off-topic, would you like your reviews out of 10 or 5 or possibly any other reasonable number?
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

You do know this is a tribute to silver age comics right the villain giving in for no reason is supposed to happen and Jack has every right to just give up because as he himself pointed out there was no reason for him to worry nobody would believe the heroes if it weren't for the tape recorder. So if you want a better example of what i'm doing watch the 1960's batman show than you will understand what i'm doing
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Just posting "Silver age comics" would made me change my mind.

4.1/5

And what about the rating?
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

It's pretty irrelevant because a low score looks better on a 10 scale but a higher score looks better on a 5 scale so it doesn't matter. Also thanks for understanding this isn't a serious mystery novel.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Luciano Bradley said:
Just posting "Silver age comics" would made me change my mind.

4.1/5

And what about the rating?
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No.
You do not change your score like that just because he says something. When you publish a score, you stick with that score. You don't change it because it's a silver age comic. Guess what? This isn't the silver age. If the author can't make it clear that this story is supposed to be like that time, then that's his problem and he deserves the original rating.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Nabber perhaps you don't understand things change if you think somethings supposed to be serious than you treat it like it's serious however if the author tells you that it's not a serious story that it's actually supposed to be like a silver age comic than you treat it like a silver age comic and you review it on a different scale
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Lips said:
Nabber perhaps you don't understand things change if you think somethings supposed to be serious than you treat it like it's serious however if the author tells you that it's not a serious story that it's actually supposed to be like a silver age comic than you treat it like a silver age comic and you review it on a different scale
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But at the end of the day, it's your fault that he didn't understand that it's not a serious story. And that is reason enough for points to be deducted.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Discord said:
Lips said:
Nabber perhaps you don't understand things change if you think somethings supposed to be serious than you treat it like it's serious however if the author tells you that it's not a serious story that it's actually supposed to be like a silver age comic than you treat it like a silver age comic and you review it on a different scale
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But at the end of the day, it's your fault that he didn't understand that it's not a serious story. And that is reason enough for points to be deducted.
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No it's not that's a terrible reason to give something a low score if you think it's bad as a serious story than you give it a low score however if you think it makes a good silver age comic story than you give it a high score. If the author makes it a point that the story is not serious than you shouldn't review it as serious you should review it like what it is a tribute to silver age comics other wise you look like that prick that reviews a comedy on the same scale as a serious murder novel
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

But how is the person supposed to know it's a silver-age comic story? If I bought this in a store, I would never be able to tell what the author thinks. Thus, I would go on reading it as a semi-serious story. The difference with other humorous stories? The author gets it across to the reader that it's not serious. And you didn't. Point is, it is ridiculous to change a score because the author couldn't make it so that the reader understood the genre.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

I've been clear with people before that this is a tribute to Silver age comics hell if you ever read a silver age comic you would know that this is a tribute to silver age comics based on the way the detective skills worked based on the villain being named after his weapon. And to be honest Nabber i think it's ridiculous not to change your score because than your not reviewing it based on it's merits as a comedy your reviewing it based on it's merits as a Serious story which it's not.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Nabber, why the fuck do you care and how much does that score really matter to you? You need to chill the fuck out and stop finding things to be anal about.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

All right newbie, you asked for it so here it is.

Now before you check the spoiler, I have to warn you. I don't believe in mercy when it comes to criticism. I once made somebody cry themselves to sleep for weeks after I gave them a review.

Only joking.

Now, your dialogue has a tendency to come off as unrealistic and you make a lot of errors in your writing. This story isn't going to be winning any awards, and I'm not going to eternally remember it as the best thing I've ever read, ever.

However, it isn't bad. Your action scenes are good, your description is fine, and your characters, well...are the same kind of corny and cool as what I'd expect from comics. While sometimes your dialogue comes off as stilted and unnatural, other times it's actually quite funny.

You have potential. Good luck.

Tabuu rates this fic: 7/10. Enjoyable.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

WHOOOOO I'M THE BEST AROUND NOTHINGS EVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Keep that thought in mind, that's how you'll succeed. And yes, this story is enjoyable. Nabber you gotta stop being naive now, it completely skipped my mind that this was suppose to be a comedy. So what if I change my rating, if it was just a comedy than I would of still gave it a low rating but since it parodies silver age comics it is quite good to read; who really gives a *bleep* that it isn't the silver age anymore. Also, GS mentioned earlier in this thread that it was going to be a comedy/silver age comic parody, it even say so on the article itself. I can easily tell from your posts that you never read a silver age comic; go pick one up and read it, you'll understand why the characters and scenes are so corny and tacky (no offense GS).

Oh and GS, Ambush Bug is the perfect silver age superhero. IMO he really represent what the silver age were made of.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

None taken i take great pride in my ability to steal D.C comics ideas PARODY LAWS FTW :posh: :P
Also i meant to address this earlier but the all good super hero teams have Yoshis on them line come from the fact that so many users are Yoshis
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Bro fist bump!
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) fourth chapter has been released

Fuck yeah BRO FIST
Also Ambush Bug is the greatest super hero ever
 
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