Suicide League (Superhero fan story) Cancelled

Do you think i should start writing this again

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 62.5%

  • No

    Votes: 1 12.5%

  • I don't care

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Total voters
    8
  • Poll closed .
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Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) first Who's who has been released

Dr. Javelin said:
Lips said:
Well there both Dr. Javelin
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Well so is Jack Noir so I was trying to figure our if your story had any continuity.
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I do i have a very strict continuity (THERE SHALL BE NO RETCONS). By the way two characters can be based off the same user.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) first Who's who has been released

Whooo i have now captured the coveted Pony market :posh:
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Well, if I were to excuse the cliche events to being a silver age comic then I guess that benefits you. You really need to brush up on your writing; there are many grammar errors and the attempts at using a large vocabulary feel out of place. I don't get why you're putting in curses if you're going to censor them, and Brock's crush was too forced. There isn't a lot of description and the dialog feels stale. Goombella's test didn't utilize her abilities and the ending was way abrupt.
Those are my thoughts on this chapter.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Damn it i keep forgetting about the auto censor. And what do you mean her test didn't show off her abilities she threw a guy into a wall with her mind...Brock doesn't have a crush Ambush does also this is a cliffhanger style chapter from now on most villains will take up at least 2 parts
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Okay. Well, Goombella threw the nameless their into the wall after she was done with him, and didn't use it in a more practical way. You really didn't make the crush thing clear. And usually, cliffhangers are supposed to be suspenseful, but here we already know that the protagonists won unless there is some surprise twist, which should have been put in before the chapter ended.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Nabber As they entered Brock pulled Ambush aside. “I just want to tell you I think it’s so cute that you have a little crush on our potential recruit!” he said with a laugh.
 Can i make it any clearer. Also i think you should re read it again because it's a lot more suspenseful than you think
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Hmm. I seemed to have misread that. Well, it was still forced and it definitely seemed like it was Brock who had the crush.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Maybe you should try re reading it good sir. Cause the ending of the chapter is definitely more suspenseful than what you make it (in my opinion)
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

No, it was an abrupt ending with little suspense.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Really you don't consider the fact that Ambush and his potential love interest disagree with each other on how to handle criminals to be suspenseful especially considering the fact that she is trying out for there group
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man said:
Really you don't consider the fact that Ambush and his potential love interest disagree with each other on how to handle criminals to be suspenseful especially considering the fact that she is trying out for there group
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Of course he's disagreeing, she's overdoing the job.
Wasn't that the point?
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Nabber just be patient it will all be revealed soon and if you still don't like it than you suck :posh:
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Nice to see you've finally decided to refer to me by my proper title.

Also look Goomba love, how strange.

Now all we need is a Pirate Goomba.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

I do like Pirates
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man said:
Nabber just be patient it will all be revealed soon and if you still don't like it than you suck :posh:
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Insulting the audience is not a very good way to gain readers.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Discord said:
Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man said:
Nabber just be patient it will all be revealed soon and if you still don't like it than you suck :posh:
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Insulting the audience is not a very good way to gain readers.
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or is it
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Discord said:
Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man said:
Nabber just be patient it will all be revealed soon and if you still don't like it than you suck :posh:
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Insulting the audience is not a very good way to gain readers.
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Despite the fact that I don't even really like this story, or Goomba's Shoe for that matter, I'm still going to end up reading it just so a can criticize it or something because there's nothing better to do.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Dr. Javelin said:
Discord said:
Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man said:
Nabber just be patient it will all be revealed soon and if you still don't like it than you suck :posh:
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Insulting the audience is not a very good way to gain readers.
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Despite the fact that I don't even really like this story, or Goomba's Shoe for that matter, I'm still going to end up reading it just so a can criticize it or something because there's nothing better to do.
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I love you to Javelin (also your comment made my morning just a little bit better)
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Well, that was certainly interesting. However, it's starting to be more of a romance/drama story than a comedy story.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 5th chapter has been released

Yes it was certainly more drama than comedy this chapter but part of that is because you probably don't share my sense of humor
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 6th chapter has been released

That was cool. Goombella is my least favorite partner in PMTTYD and now she's in jail.
 
Re: Suicide League (Superhero fan story) 6th chapter has been released

Not the same people (theres a user named Goombella)
 
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