santanoice
I can see through time
- Pronouns
- She / They
Go through the damn thing
Zork
- Thread starter Magikrazy
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #152
?????
Score: ∞
Moves: YOU FREAKIN WIN
> Go through
You go through the portal. You turn into a Grue! Oh happy of days! Unfortunately, you stumbled into a lightbulb party being hosted by the Black Mage guild. The only thing on the refreshment bar is apostrophes, every weapon that doesn't exist but should is there, everyone is using abominably bad grammmar, gay russian vampire porn is on the tables, and some of the guests are Chuck Norris, Jenn Kaufer, Firefox and Thunderbird, and Jack Bauer. Just arriving are Lawyers riding Bohemian Elephants. YOU EXPLODE INTO 58 BUGILLION PIECES AND EVERYONE KICKS YOUR ASS. But at least you were a grue!'
*** YOU HAVE WON ***
but...
*** You have died ***
Congratulations, fantanoice!
Score: ∞
Moves: YOU FREAKIN WIN
> Go through
You go through the portal. You turn into a Grue! Oh happy of days! Unfortunately, you stumbled into a lightbulb party being hosted by the Black Mage guild. The only thing on the refreshment bar is apostrophes, every weapon that doesn't exist but should is there, everyone is using abominably bad grammmar, gay russian vampire porn is on the tables, and some of the guests are Chuck Norris, Jenn Kaufer, Firefox and Thunderbird, and Jack Bauer. Just arriving are Lawyers riding Bohemian Elephants. YOU EXPLODE INTO 58 BUGILLION PIECES AND EVERYONE KICKS YOUR ASS. But at least you were a grue!'
*** YOU HAVE WON ***
but...
*** You have died ***
Congratulations, fantanoice!
santanoice
I can see through time
- Pronouns
- She / They
10/10 would play again
Glitchy Bowser Jr.
"Stuff it, sponge brain!"
Chiaki Nanami said:
Display Name: Glitchy
santanoice
I can see through time
- Pronouns
- She / They
No you're Fire Emblem thing
- Thread starter
- #157
There is a leaflet on the floor.
> take leaflet
Stolen.
> read leaflet
Welcome to Zork. In this game you will experience some of the most thrilling text action ever devised. It is a game of high skills and low cunning. In this adventure you will find some of the most dangerous creatures you've ever seen like e-
The rest of the leaflet has been torn. Eurg!!
> look
You are in a nondescript room of nondescript size. Exits are to the north, south, and west. Oh, and there's a Grue over there in the corner.
There is half a leaflet next to the Grue.
◦North
◦South
◦East
◦West
◦inventory
◦Take rest of leaflet
◦eat grue
If you want, you can also:
◦restore saved game
◦consult in-game help
◦open start menu
◦call tech support
> take leaflet
Stolen.
> read leaflet
Welcome to Zork. In this game you will experience some of the most thrilling text action ever devised. It is a game of high skills and low cunning. In this adventure you will find some of the most dangerous creatures you've ever seen like e-
The rest of the leaflet has been torn. Eurg!!
> look
You are in a nondescript room of nondescript size. Exits are to the north, south, and west. Oh, and there's a Grue over there in the corner.
There is half a leaflet next to the Grue.
◦North
◦South
◦East
◦West
◦inventory
◦Take rest of leaflet
◦eat grue
If you want, you can also:
◦restore saved game
◦consult in-game help
◦open start menu
◦call tech support
eat grue
- Thread starter
- #160
Tech Support
Problems solved: 0
Thank you for calling Zork tech support.
You are probably calling for technical support. For technical support, press 1. For tech support, press 2. Para español oprima Ñ. For technical supports, press 3. For technique supports, press 4. For technological support, press 5. For technical supporters, press 6. Para español oprima 9. To hear these options again press 0. For SpædAssist (Europæn customers only), plæs press Æ. To win the game, press ∞. For AOEU supporters, press AOEU.
Press:
◦1
◦2
◦Ñ
◦3
◦4
◦5
◦9
◦0
◦AOEU
◦∞
◦Æ
Or else:
◦Hang up
Problems solved: 0
Thank you for calling Zork tech support.
You are probably calling for technical support. For technical support, press 1. For tech support, press 2. Para español oprima Ñ. For technical supports, press 3. For technique supports, press 4. For technological support, press 5. For technical supporters, press 6. Para español oprima 9. To hear these options again press 0. For SpædAssist (Europæn customers only), plæs press Æ. To win the game, press ∞. For AOEU supporters, press AOEU.
Press:
◦1
◦2
◦Ñ
◦3
◦4
◦5
◦9
◦0
◦AOEU
◦∞
◦Æ
Or else:
◦Hang up
- Thread starter
- #164
Tech Support
Problems solved: Fix Phone
You are suddenly endowed with a set of advanced phone-fixing powers. You fix the phone and find that there is a tech-support clerk on the other end. This clerk tells you his name is Zion and that he is in fact twelve.
◦Tell him he is a snot-nosed bratty twerp
◦Ask him politely to help you win the game
Problems solved: Fix Phone
You are suddenly endowed with a set of advanced phone-fixing powers. You fix the phone and find that there is a tech-support clerk on the other end. This clerk tells you his name is Zion and that he is in fact twelve.
◦Tell him he is a snot-nosed bratty twerp
◦Ask him politely to help you win the game
- Thread starter
- #166
Tech Support
Problems solved: 0
You tell him please please please help me win the game. He asks you for your serial number, you load the game and tell him 840726. He says to please hold on. The phone begins making strange noises again but this time does not explode. You check the screen just as the your Zork copy strangely changes.
Win
Score: ∞
Moves: ∞
> consult 12-year-old clerk in order to win game
You are in the a twelve-year-old's room, but it has long since been abandoned and actually left in an amazingly spotless condition. The place where the bed used to be has been replaced with a table with a bag of gold on it. You have won. Wait, you have won? That's impossible! The computer explodes and puts itself back together. Your computer reboots.
When the game reloads, the following text is displayed:
*** You have died ***
Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, or end this session of Zork? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):
◦ restart
◦ restore
◦ quit
Problems solved: 0
You tell him please please please help me win the game. He asks you for your serial number, you load the game and tell him 840726. He says to please hold on. The phone begins making strange noises again but this time does not explode. You check the screen just as the your Zork copy strangely changes.
Win
Score: ∞
Moves: ∞
> consult 12-year-old clerk in order to win game
You are in the a twelve-year-old's room, but it has long since been abandoned and actually left in an amazingly spotless condition. The place where the bed used to be has been replaced with a table with a bag of gold on it. You have won. Wait, you have won? That's impossible! The computer explodes and puts itself back together. Your computer reboots.
When the game reloads, the following text is displayed:
*** You have died ***
Would you like to start over, restore a saved position, or end this session of Zork? (type RESTART, RESTORE, or QUIT):
◦ restart
◦ restore
◦ quit
- Thread starter
- #170
CHEATER!
Score: 65536
Moves: 1
> cheat
That was clever. Why would you even need to restore this save file? You could have just typed it in on the first page, but you insisted on loading a save file that wasn't yours.
For attempting both to cheat the game and load someone else's save, you are raped by Missingo. Ouch.
SUDDENLY! You are on a cloud in deep space, and there is a man standing in front of you.
> examine man
He appears to be Anubis, the God of Death.
What would you like to do?
◦give him a piece of gum
◦ask him to bring you back to life
◦restore
Score: 65536
Moves: 1
> cheat
That was clever. Why would you even need to restore this save file? You could have just typed it in on the first page, but you insisted on loading a save file that wasn't yours.
For attempting both to cheat the game and load someone else's save, you are raped by Missingo. Ouch.
SUDDENLY! You are on a cloud in deep space, and there is a man standing in front of you.
> examine man
He appears to be Anubis, the God of Death.
What would you like to do?
◦give him a piece of gum
◦ask him to bring you back to life
◦restore
- Thread starter
- #172
cloud
Score: ?
Moves: ?
> give him some of your gum
As you reach into your pocket, you suddenly remember that you gave your gum to that creepy little kid back in the house. What do you do?
◦ give him a piece of lint and hope he won't notice the difference
◦ tell him that you have gum in your pocket, and promise him that you'll give him some if he gives you super powers
Score: ?
Moves: ?
> give him some of your gum
As you reach into your pocket, you suddenly remember that you gave your gum to that creepy little kid back in the house. What do you do?
◦ give him a piece of lint and hope he won't notice the difference
◦ tell him that you have gum in your pocket, and promise him that you'll give him some if he gives you super powers