The Real Life Wiki - 28,000 VIEWS!

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Sent Chapter 6 to my editor, will be released soon (hopefully if he edits it quick :P).

 

[Dr. Javelin]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Edited. You might want to send me a second draft if you're still not sure if it's good or not.

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Edited. You might want to send me a second draft if you're still not sure if it's good or not.

Too late now, just published on Userpedia. :P

CHAPTER 6 HAS BEEN RELEASED!

Criticize or critique constructively, comment, rate, and have fun reading! Don't forget to subscribe.

 

[Contra(dictory)]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Creative, but mediocore. Don't let that get you down, though. There's certainly plenty of room for improvement, and if you polish your writing style and gain more experience, you'll be pretty damn good.

Also, if you can, I'd appreciate if you came onto #userpedia or #mwchat so I could talk to you and give you some more feedback.

 

[Dr. Javelin]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

You still have some of my comments in there.

I bolded them so you could see them more clearly if you read it in a forum post.

"Well" is also getting repetitive.

That's one of my comments.

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Creative, but mediocore. Don't let that get you down, though. There's certainly plenty of room for improvement, and if you polish your writing style and gain more experience, you'll be pretty damn good.

Also, if you can, I'd appreciate if you came onto #userpedia or #mwchat so I could talk to you and give you some more feedback.

Ok.

Thank you for your feedback, I'm trying improve it

 

[New Super Mario]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Good Chapter but to much bolding. I didn't think it was necessary for some of the words

 

[Dr. Javelin]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Yeah, I'm unfamiliar with Userpedia coding so I though that it was italicize code, not bold code, which is why I left it there. You don't normally bold in books, and some authors italicize.

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Yeah, I'm unfamiliar with Userpedia coding so I though that it was italicize code, not bold code, which is why I left it there. You don't normally bold in books, and some authors italicize.

MarioWiki code is same as Userpedia code.

 

[YoshiGo99]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

That's fine

 

[Daniel Dyce]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

That's fine

was that really worth a post also stop referring to me a Sir Buzzy only use my full name

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

That's fine

was that really worth a post also stop referring to me a Sir Buzzy only use my full name

I am not going to say your full name on the story, sorry.

 

[Daniel Dyce]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

That's fine

was that really worth a post also stop referring to me a Sir Buzzy only use my full name

I am not going to say your full name on the story, sorry.

Than kill my character

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

I haven't been on this thread for a while!

That's fine

was that really worth a post also stop referring to me a Sir Buzzy only use my full name

I am not going to say your full name on the story, sorry.

Than kill my character

Ok then..

 

[Zero777]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

 

[Zero777]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

 

[Zero777]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

 

[Daniel Dyce]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

Reality means nothing it's a story

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

Reality means nothing it's a story

Exactly. And anyway, I would've ridden on top of the taxi or cab :P

It's like your story, it's not realistic.

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

Reality means nothing it's a story

Exactly. And anyway, I would've ridden on top of the taxi or cab :P

It's like your story, it's not realistic.

I also kind of have Writer's Block write now..

 

[Daniel Dyce]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

Reality means nothing it's a story

Exactly. And anyway, I would've ridden on top of the taxi or cab :P

It's like your story, it's not realistic.

I also kind of have Writer's Block write now..

Don't double post

 

[UltimatePetey]

Re: The Real Life Wiki

Wait, since when was YoshiGo the guardian, I thought he just retrieved the stone?

@Yoshiwaker: The undead or not dead pharaoh, I was implying that scene wasn't really descriptive and left a ton of questions open. Also, I said your logic doesn't make sense because your basically implying that all ancient Egyptians are undead.

No, YoshiGo was just the guardian of the stone, Yoshidude needed to get past him. Go back to look if you want to.

Ahhh, those two yoshi's got me confused, it was the lack of description in that chapter that did the job. But why would YG be considered a major villain if he was killed in the same chapter?

He wasn't killed, he was just severely injured. He will appear again in the story later with more of a major role.

Must of forgot it, or lack of description.

I just finished reading Chapter 6 and I have to say overall of the story... no offense but it's a bit dumb. Users are randomly place in situations like they're use to it and I find not believable that you manage to get in a cab go to the airport, go though security and fly in an airplane. In reality (what a coincidence :P ), NONE of those services will be given to you because it is illegal to have any sort of contact with an extra-terrestrial.

Reality means nothing it's a story

Exactly. And anyway, I would've ridden on top of the taxi or cab :P

It's like your story, it's not realistic.

I also kind of have Writer's Block write now..

Don't double post

...