Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, 5 cars run over you.

I wish that I could play baseball on Daisy's Cruiser.
 
Granted, your crush runs away at the last second.

I wish that I had Mario Party 8.
 
Granted, but you can't get out.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence. The pie isn't destroyed by a black hole, or any other thing at all, except my digestive system. My mouth and entire body do not malfunction at all before, during, or after the pie eating. I eat the pie today.
 
Lord Ghirahim said:
I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence. The pie isn't destroyed by a black hole, or any other thing at all, except my digestive system. My mouth and entire body do not malfunction at all before, during, or after the pie eating. I eat the pie today.
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Oh mt gosh, I'm tired of that wish already.

I wish that you will stop making that wish.
 
Granted, but I start making wishes about bacon instead.

I wish for bacon.
 
That's better.

Granted, but you have to give up chocolate pie for it.

I wish that I had Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I already dislike the game, but I want it for my friend.
 
Granted, but your friend convinces you to play with him and pwns you.

I wish for bacon. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the bacon.
 
Granted, but you get fat.

I wish that people will post in this topic.
 
Granted, but since you forgot to make a wish, you are hated for the rest of your life.

I wish for bacon. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the bacon. No one else gets bacon. I don't gain or lose weight before, during, or after the bacon-eating.
 
You edited it after my post...
 
Granted, but I slaughter the world's pigs.

I wish the CD-i never existed.
 
Baby Time said:
Eterna Forest from Pokemon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum?
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No, Eternal forest from Mega Man X: Command Mission.

Granted, but half the internet is now boring.

I wish I was Incentas.
 
Granted, but you turn into a pumpkin afterwards.

I wish for bacon. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the bacon. No one else gets bacon. I don't gain or lose weight before, during, or after the bacon-eating. There is no shortage of any food of quality before, during, or after the bacon.
 
Granted, but it's turkey bacon.

I wish I had some steak. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the steak. No one else gets steak. Nothing happens to it. There is no change in my weight at any point in time. There is plenty of steak.
 
Granted, but you don't like it and throw it down a cliff afterwards and there is dynamite at the bottom of the cliff and it, and the universe, will explode if the steak touches it for which it does.

I wish for Papa Gino's.
 
TURKEY BACON?! BLASPHEMY!

Granted, but you hate it so much you slit your own throat.

I wish for bacon. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the bacon. No one else gets bacon. I don't gain or lose weight before, during, or after the bacon-eating. There is no shortage of any food of quality before, during, or after the bacon. It is NOT turkey bacon.
 
Granted. You were very sick prior to eating the bacon, and when you got it, you threw up on it. Not knowing you did, you ate it.

I wish there was a Birdo Island :birdo:
 
Granted, but the Birdos there are hostile and carnivorous.

I wish for bacon. I don't lose anything as a result of eating the bacon. No one else gets bacon. I don't gain or lose weight before, during, or after the bacon-eating. There is no shortage of any food of quality before, during, or after the bacon. It is NOT turkey bacon. There is nothing other than a small amount of salt on the bacon. The bacon is cooked properly.
 
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