Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, You eat the pie and get yourself into a self-induced sugar coma.

I wish I was Saphira (since no one gets my Dragonrider of Pern references).
 
Granted, but you wind up trapped in your Eldunari.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards.
 
Granted, but the world runs out of chocolate after the pie is eaten.

I wish people would stop complaining about the chocolate pie wish.
 
Granted, but people complain about your wish.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating.
 
Granted, but the fanboys lynch you for not falling for Eragon at the end of the book.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating.
 
Granted, but you hear it so many times you don't like it anymore.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food.
 
Granted, but you die of boredom.

I wish you knew that the law means nothing to anyone who eats any kind of pie for any reason.
 
Granted, but he's ignorant of everything else.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating.
 
Granted, but you die.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely.

You guys should really read the whole wish before corrupting, I really thought I had specified that the pie reaches me safely...
 
I thought I did specify it reached you safely. You never said anything about what happends after it reaches you safely.

Granted, but the two slices together are as big as a skyscraper and you spend your life eating it.

I wish I was Spyro, and if I die, specify how I die.
 
Granted, but you get depression and jump off a cliff.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less.
 
Granted, but it's so hard you hate it.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence.
 
Granted but a black hole comes out of nowhere and eats the pie before you can even look at it.

I wish pie was banned so we can stop complaining about the chocolate pie.
 
Granted, but your life stinks.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence. The pie isn't destroyed by a black hole, or any other thing at all, except my digestive system.
 
Granted, but Mario4Ever continues my legacy.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence. The pie isn't destroyed by a black hole, or any other thing at all, except my digestive system. My mouth and entire body do not malfunction at all before, during, or after the pie eating.
 
Granted, but your posts fail after that.

I wish that I have chocolate pie. It is not poisoned, and I get to eat exactly two slices of it, no more, no less, and no one else but me eats the pie. Also, just to be as specific as possible, UM gets no pie either. I also gain no unusual amount of weight from eating the pie or anything afterwards, nor do I become too lightweight afterwards or beforehand due to time shenanigans. I'm also not disappointed by anything prior to or after the pie's consumption. It successfully is made without hitch or unnecessary expense. It tastes perfect to me. It is baked in a pie tin and bakes perfectly, not burned, undercooked, or out of shape. All the materials necessary are available and arrive safely and without trouble. I also do not lose the ability to play any awesome video games. I am not compelled to play any lousy video games either. I don't lose any abilities or gain any new lame ones. It also contains nothing harmful to my person or any other person in any way, shape, form, or fashion. This wish will also not be ignored. The thread doesn't go dead either. My username remains intact, as does the forum, the wiki, and all of NIWA and its constituent users. I have to pay no money or lose any money in any way to get the pie. The pie reaches me successfully. My keyboard and laptop stay intact throughout and suffer no damage before, during, or after the pie eating. I do not go into a sugar coma afterwards. There is no shortage of any materials before, during, or after the pie eating. I am able to eat normal foods before and after the pie eating. I don't have to eat abnormal foods ever, and pie is not considered as an abnormal food. Also, the court of law does not do anything to me or to pie before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie reaches me safely. I don't develop depression before, during, or after the pie eating. The pie slices are slices of around 10 cubic inches in volume, no more, no less. The pie is not in a vault when it arrives, and isn't destroyed as a consequence. The pie isn't destroyed by a black hole, or any other thing at all, except my digestive system. My mouth and entire body do not malfunction at all before, during, or after the pie eating. I eat the pie today.
 
Granted. You become so awesome after eating it that everyone bows down to you and your the King of the Multiverse. And you live forever.

I wish that I was Spyro, and I don't die at all, especially jumping of a cliff and dying (seriously, how's that possible?). And I do not commit suicide.
 
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