Good wishes aren't always good wishes

Granted, every other bug in the world is now attracted to you.
I wish everyone was immortal until they truly desired to not be.
 
granted, your stamina meter in The Legend Of Zelda: BOTW has increased by 1
I wish I had a normal sleep schedule
 
granted, you only enjoyed it for two seconds
I wish I could be more energetic
 
granted, you are so happy that when you walk down the street, people see you creepily and start calling the police.
If you want something more funny: granted, you are so happy that you explode

I wish I had an SD card
 
granted, you're angry instead
i wish i was never itchy again

(e: sorry the two messages got sent simultaneously)
Granted, your skin stays red from the rash that isnt itchy
i wish i mained all smash characters with great skill
 
granted, someone stole it from you right after
I wish I had better phone memory system
Granted, your phone remembers too much
I wish there was an episode of Spongebob where they reveal the ACTUAL formula and doesnt get cut off
 
Okay, But Mr. Krabs has to kill you now.

I wish there was a reboot of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show.
 
Granted. The reboot is filled with all sorts of outdated memes, much like... certain other reboots.

I wish I had Ayane Sakura's autograph and that nobody would steal it from me.
Granted, It's a forgery
I wish Star Wars didnt exist
 
Granted, everyone is blissfully unaware thinking there's only peace in space causing the government to have no employed defenses once aliens launch a surprise attack and take over

I wish for all 100s in my classes
 
Granted, everyone is blissfully unaware thinking there's only peace in space causing the government to have no employed defenses once aliens launch a surprise attack and take over

I wish for all 100s in my classes
Granted, You get 100 0s.
I wish Wario was the king of the universe
 
Granted. All life on every planet dies instantaneously due to wario stinky stink
I wish waluigi was super OP and in every game ever made
 
Granted, everyone else has bad connection so it's even worse when you play online
I wish school wasn't so long
 
granted, you are so wholesome that you get picked on throughout school and are depressed as a adult.
I wish I never saw anything cringe again
 
granted, but it is replaced by something even worse than cringe.
I wish for this to be the zenkaiger line-up:
Leader: Zenkai Red (constantly states she's a girl and a flashback reveals her to be AMAB)
Lancer: Zenkai Pink
Chick: Zenkai Yellow
Big Guy: Zenkai Green
Smart Guy: Zenkai Blue
Sixth Ranger: Zenkai Gold
out of these, only pink is male.
 
granted, but it is replaced by something even worse than cringe.
I wish for this to be the zenkaiger line-up:
Leader: Zenkai Red (constantly states she's a girl and a flashback reveals her to be AMAB)
Lancer: Zenkai Pink
Chick: Zenkai Yellow
Big Guy: Zenkai Green
Smart Guy: Zenkai Blue
Sixth Ranger: Zenkai Gold
out of these, only pink is male.
granted, they are all the wrong colors
I wish I had some stew.
 
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You get a bowl of soup.

I wish I had Ayane Sakura's autograph and that it would also be 100% authentic and it wouldn't get stolen from me. (I think I've made my wish unruinable enough, so my next one's going to be new.)
Granted, it burns up the moment you hold it.
I wish Wario didnt exist.
 
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